2009 unveiled by Psychic Nikki!

[cobrien]

Hello, Christmas is here, the gifts are piling up under the tree, and here's a special one from the amazing Psychic Nikki.
Some "psychics" out there will play safe and make some vague predictions, but not our Nikki, she will predict Pandas on a rampage or Bigfoot's capture or a plane crashing into the pyramids.
So what does 2009 hold for us?

3. Trouble with Tibet and China.

4. An explosion at the Great Wall of China.

11. A war with China and Tibet.

12. An explosion at the Great Wall of China.

Ok, so the sequence is going to be, generic trouble, explosion, war, and explosion again. Ok, got it.

5. Passing of Fidel Castro.

Fidel is in trouble... again! Don't give up Nikki, 4th time (or is it the 5th by now?) is the charm!

13. Loch Ness monster will be captured.

No rampaging pandas and King Kongs this year, but something just as interesting...

23. Danger around Barack Obama.

Ok, Obama needs to be careful, check.

24. Assassination attempt around Barack Obama.

I've got the strange feeling that I've seen something like this somewhere, hmmm...

25. Assassination Barack Obama – New Martin Luther King.

And it's deja vu all over again!

37. A cold war between Cuba and the USA and a possible invasion into Cuba.

It looks like the long lasting friendship between Cuba and the USA is over, what a shame.

48. A rare Green Flamingo will be found.

49. A green bear will be found in China.

I've got the feeling that somewhere in China, deep in the woods, a bear and a flamingo are planning a prank with can of green paint...

73. Stock Market up and down.

And here you can see just how brilliant she is, not only does she predict the extraordinary, but the ordinary too!

 

[Australis]

Her depth and insight is, uh, stunning.

 

[Captain Intrepid]

Well, pretty much par for the course with "psychics" and people who write horoscopes.

 

[Surefire]

I think the flamingo and bear will just have an unfortunate meeting with a nasty fungus.

Wall street up and down.... DUHHH! That was a brilliant prediction.

 

[Trekker4747]

She just throws as much stuff on the wall to see what sticks, it's spaghetti predicting and if it doesn't stick she throws it against the wall again in a year.

She's like a lot of psychics in that she makes a lot of lucky (and obvious) guesses without the advantage of a filter.

I suspect she's wrong much more than right.

 

[Elmo Dukat]

It looks like the long lasting friendship between Cuba and the USA is over, what a shame.

No kidding

I could come up with better stuff than this. But hey, I'm no 'psychic'

 

[Trekker4747]

Death of Charles Manson.

The man IS 74. So not impossible.

Passing of Fidel Castro.

But his health has been so great lately!

Giant earthquake in California including Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego.

SanFran AND LA? I guess it WOULD have to be "giant."

President Sarkozy of France in danger.

An unusual position, for sure.

Explosion at the Eiffel Tower.
A daredevil will scale the Eiffel Tower.

Hopefully not at the same time.

Royal Jewels will be stolen.

Man, prince Harry's wife is a bitch!

Sarah Palin will write a “tell all book”.

It'll probably be a pop-up.

President Bush and Laura Bush will have marriage problems.

I'd say most couples do this in a year.

Hillary Clinton has to watch her health.

Shouldn't we all?

Danger around Barack Obama.
Assassination attempt around Barack Obama.
Assassination Barack Obama – New Martin Luther King.

Not a good year for Barack.

Another planet with life will be found in the universe.

Uh-huh. And if she had wheels my mother would be a tractor.

A commercial jet liner and a meteorite will collide.

What are the odds?!

Problems with North Korea.

And they've been so friendly lately! Damn!

A worldwide computer virus.

Yeah, those local viruses just aren't cutting it anymore.

A new National Hockey League in Canada.

A large fire in Chicago.

Man, Chicago sucks at fire control.

An airport hanger fire.

You usually don't see that kind of activity in a wardrobe device.

A Belgium chocolate factory will burn to the ground.

Oh man, and they only have the one!

A meteor will land in Russia.

How polite of it.

Laura and George Bush have to watch their marriage.

Well considering their fights...

A subway tragedy in New York.

Also called "rush hour."

Arrest in the Madeline McCann case.
A terrorist attack in Karachi Pakistan.
Terrorist attack in Calcutta.
Terrorist attack in Oslo Norway.
A terrorist attack in Copenhagen.
Terrorist attack in Turkey.
Terrorist attack in Toronto, Canada.

Good year for terrorists.

Stock Market up and down.

Curse the free market system!

O.J. Simpson has to be careful of his well being. May escape jail.

He's in jail so, yeah and, yeah he "may" but "will?"

Another crane tragedy.

ANOTHER ONE! Damn! And they only happen all the time!

Lots of splits in Hollywood

This makes me sad.</STRONG>

The great late actor Heath Ledger will be nominated for an Oscar.

Man. You'd think there'd be some buzz about this or something!

Angelina Jolie will be nominated for an Oscar.

Is she in anything Oscar-worthy this year?

Anne Hathaway will be nominated for an Oscar.

For... Get Smart?

Johnny Depp winning an Oscar for playing a Russian in a future movie within 36 months.

Dare I say this is a prediction for 2010 and 2011 as well as 2009?

Nicole Kidman another child.

Girl needs to grow up. I mean, comeon Nikki you're 40!

Sarah Jessica Parker and Mathew Broderick split.

Those two have been together forever!

Donald Trump has to watch his future wealth and be careful of helicopters.

Man has been there before and yeah you've got to watch Helicopters. Mother fuckers are dangerous!

Oprah Winfrey has to watch her and health and robbery.

Doesn't everyone need to look out for these things?

Victoria and David Beckham have to watch their marriage and kidnapping.

They have a kidnapping to watch over?

Tom Cruise has to be careful of a crazed fan.

Garak!

Sean Penn will be nominated for an Oscar for the movie Milk.

Not if there is a God.

Mudslides in California.

The hell you say!

Great earthquake in Los Angeles, San Francisco.

You don't get double credit if this happens.

Part of the polar ice cap melts.

The hell you say!

The Royals

Another sub .500 year? Damn.

Kidnapping Royal Family.

Hell of a crime to pull off.

A Formula One car out of control – a fiery crash hitting the stands and killing the driver.

Sooo.... a F1 race?

A ball in a baseball stadium will hit a fan injuring them.

Soo.... a baseball game?

A streaker in a baseball field.

Sooo... a baseball game!

A riot at a soccer stadium.

Soo... a soccer game.

Muffs for women.

Biting my tounge.

 

[Surefire]

^A great quake is by definition greater than or equal to M8.0.

The chances of a great quake occuring in SF AND LA in the same year are low.

 

[Cutter John]

Woman would have a great comedy act going if she weren't predicting wars and presidential assassination.

*Marks her down in the 'Friggin Nutjob' collumn.

 

[Mysterion]

I, Dr. Mysterion, now offer my predictions for 2009:

1. Britany Spears will reign in Rome as Pope Joan I.

2. Gasoline will become more expensive, or it might not.

3. A cure for cancer will be discovered, but it will be found to be the primary cause for global warming. As a result, Al Gore's head will explode.

4. Pope Joan blessing Al Gore's recently exploded head will be the top-grossing event ever for payper-view television.

5. In a stunning turn of events, California's Prop 8 will be overturned. Larry King will preside over the wedding of Arnold Schwarzenagger and a headless Al Gore to commerate this.

6. The summer weather will be much warmer than years when it has been cooler.

 

[Jono]

Sarah Palin will write a “tell all book”.

It'll probably be a pop-up.

I can see it now.

See Palin
See Palin run
Run, Palin, run!

 

[Mysterion]

A further Vision From Beyond: This time next year Barack Obama will no tbe President. Or will he? Yes. Yes he will.

 

[Gepard]

"The stars predict/
tomorrow you'll wake up,/
do a bunch of stuff/
and then go back to sleep."

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

But i hate doing stuff!

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Anyone else remember this from last year?

 

[TorontoTrekker]

A new National Hockey League in Canada.

Yeah, really. We won't even get a new team here as long as Gary Bettman is the commissioner (and Hamilton could easily support one).

Terrorist attack in Toronto, Canada.

Now who would want to attack little old us?

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Now I'm terrified of being hit by a meteor while being mauled by a Chinese green bear unleashed from its cage in a crane accident caused by an escaped OJ in the aftermath of a California-wide earthquake that causes a tsunami carrying an invasion force of surfing Cubans.

I guess I picked the wrong year to quit sniffing glue.

It is oddly comforting to know that "the stars" in their infinite wisdom and foresight also have terrible spelling and a tendency to repeat themselves.

I hope the Dahlia Lama (half Black Dahlia, half Lama?) is going to be okay with all that danger around him.

 

[Admiral_Young]

Never heard of her...she's never been a guest on Coast To Coast AM and I'm starting to see why from her predictions lol.

 

[RevdKathy]

If that lot is all going to happen, I believe I will stay in bed for 2009. Wake me this time next year.

 

[The Great Meech]

It's good to see Nikki's still at it, and also that her writing ability is quickly atrophying.