Any Xena:WP fans on the boards?

Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT I

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Gabrielle: "Are you all right?"
Eve: "Gabrielle, I'm fine. You shouldn't be here! This is my mission."
Gabrielle: (Who trumps a daughter and an "aunt" every time???) "Your mother's mission is protecting you. Eve, there are some Elijans hiding in the catacombs on the outside of town." (Shouldn't that be "on the underside" of town???) "We'll join you there. Go."
Eve: "OK."
Gabrielle: "OK."

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There was a silly little storyline running through this ep, and it was Gabby's "disguise" which was this little pill box of a hat. She actually TOOK IT OFF when she went to rescue Eve from Caligula, as if Eve couldn't see who she was! Later she does the same thing when she tries to talk to Aphrodite. Gabby, sweetie, honey... WE CAN SEE it's you! Leave the hat where it is!

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Meanwhile, back in the courtyard, after Xena and Ares' tete e tete, Caligula has them brought to face him.

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Caligula: "Either you're incredibly stupid, or you know that there's nothing I enjoy more than a good surprise." [Chuckles]
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(My fav line of the ep occurs as Aphrodite, the dazed and confused, becomes very enamored of the tall dark and handsome FORMER god of war and CURRENT brother of the goddess of Love)
Ares: "OK, bad touching. No-- stopping now."
Caligula: "Guards, take him to the prison, and take that Elijan with him."
Roman Centurion: "My lord she's disappeared."
Caligula: "Well, find her! I'll make sure that her demise is particularly spectacular."
Aphrodite: "I'm getting bored of all these distractions."
Caligula: "Well, then,my dear you should rest." (He kisses her and she falls http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_098cd.htm into an unexpected swoon and is carried off by her retainers as he dances an overpowered jig) Oh! Yeah! Hoo! (To the Charioteer) All right. Why don't you try and tell me just exactly what you think you were doing?!"

Enter the battling BARD of Potadiea!
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Gabrielle: "Allow me to explain. I am Synda of Thrace. I
represent the financial interest of the great charioteer, Saba. If that buffoon hadn't interrupted, then Saba would have challenged you to a chariot race."
Caligula: "A chariot race. Well, there may be some gold in it for you if she can entertain me. Being a god can be so boring and I do so love tall girls." (He gooses Xena's backside, much to her surprise and right under Gabrielle's nose) "Come with me. You will be my guest of honor at the palace so that I can enjoy your company until the race."

Switching scenes... from the dusty courtyard to (I think) the last hot tube scene for the series...

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So enjoy it while you can... cuz Gabby obviously did!

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Gabrielle: (As her feet are "attended to...) "Feels good."
Xena: (Glances around nervously, like an agnostic in church) "You know, Rome, this place irks me. Gabrielle, we've gotta stop Caligula from killing Eve."
Gabrielle: "Xena, Eve is safe with the Elijans."
Xena: (SEE, she DID learn something from her exposure to Varia... young women do NOT mind their elders anymore!)"For now, but I don't trust her to stay put." (Xena exits the bath and dries off as Gabby remains behind)
Gabrielle: "We have to stop this madman without hurting Aphrodite."
Xena: "Which means that we have to find out what this crazy bond is between them and break it."
Gabrielle: "We have to stop this Caligula from committing genocide for his cult of blood."
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(Xena is squeezing herself into her outfit like a teenager trying to get into her "skinny" jeans... and it looks like Rob Tapert took to heart the subtexters that complained in "Paradise Found" when Gabrielle "turned away" to get dressed. )
Xena: "Yes all right. Now, Aphrodite should be at the party. I want you to go there, find her, and try to talk some sense into her. I'm gonna join you there later. I need to go to the dungeon and talk to Ares. (She has her cloak wrapped around her like a silent movie villian, and pulls her gold helmet over her face for good measure!) "Good luck."
Gabrielle: (calls out to the fast diasppearing WP) "Xena, don't forget, you're the guest of honor!"

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(Gabby arrives at the "party" and finds her way to Aphrodite's side, reclining on Caligula's multitude of pillows)
Gabrielle: "Aphrodite, you're looking beautiful. You just seem a little different. Aphrodite, don't you remember me?"
Aphrodite: "You're being very familiar, considering I'm a goddess and you're a butt-kissing parasite."
Gabrielle: (She'd be hurt if it wasn't obvious that this wasn't the goddess we know and love!) "Aphrodite, I'm your friend."
Aphrodite: (She's soooo not impressed!) "Leave me alone."

Gabby chases the goddess down the hallway where she's walking so erratically she tips over a porcelin vase and breaks it.
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She then zero's in on the woman following her.

Gabrielle: (Chasing the goddess) "Aphrodite, Aphrodite, are you OK?"
Aphrodite: (Vase crashes) "Fabulous! [Laughs] I'm wonderful! I've never been so happy so... so... " (Turns towards Gabrielle)
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Gabrielle: [Whispers] "What?" (She's being backed against the wall)
Aphrodite: [Whispers] "So happy." (And she leans in for a serious kiss)
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Gabrielle: (Now Gabby knows how Ares "felt", as she breaks off the kiss. ) "Wha... what are you doing?!"
Aphrodite: [Laughs]

Meanwhile, back at the party, Caligula turns from one strumpet, to discover yet another one in crawling towards him on the pillows... and she's NOT Aphrodite!

Caligula: "Where is she?"

The girls are still in the kissing corridor, and thats where Caligula eventually finds them.

Aphrodite: (Crying) "I love him so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o much."
Gabrielle: (Aghast) "Caligula? Aphrodite, I don't believe that."
Caligula: (With 4 male attendants at his side, he arrives in the corridor) "Aphrodite, you must forgive her. She's tired and emotional."
Gabrielle: "I can tell." (And the goddess is lead away by the men, leaving Gabby alone with the freakosaurus )
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Caligula: "And where is your Saba? Hm-m? She insults both the emperor and the god with her failure to appear. It's time for the Praetorian guard to hunt her down. Mm-m-m... maybe then she'll learn the importance of punctuality, in death."

Down in the prison.. Xena has finally found the jail cell holding Ares.

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Ares: "Xena, thank the Heavens. (Shouldn't that be "thank Olympus??) "How's Aphrodite?"
Xena: "I was hoping you could tell me. What happened to her?"
Ares: "I came to Rome because I heard she was losing her mind. You see, without the god of war, the goddess of love becomes unbalanced." (Did it take 14 months for her to lose it, or for anyone to NOTICE she was losing it? Inquiring minds want to know...)

Oh, while Xena is down here chatting up Ares, Gabby is doing her best to distract Caligula from his plans to execute her! And what works best with a psycho, sex addict and a murderer???

"Synda/Gabrielle": "Caligula [Throaty chuckle] you aren't going to leave before my world-renowned performance?"
Caligula: "Performance?"
"Synda/Gabrielle": "Yes."

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As Gabrielle dances and grunts her way through the dance, Xena is still pumping Ares for intell.

Xena: "Wh-wh-what does Caligula have to do with this?"
Ares: "It's like he's some kind of succubus, sucking her
godhood from her bit by bit. Now, if you thought he was bad as an emperor, imagine him with the powers of a full god. And there's nothing, I can do about it."
Xena: "Maybe I can."
Ares: "No. No." (He fears she will kill Caligula)
Xena: "I've gotta come between them before it's too late."
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Donning her golden helmet once again, she runs for the party "upstairs". She arrives to see Gabrielle hanging from a rope and dancing across some large metal shields held by the scantily clad male attendents at the party. Aphrodite is at his side, and he "closes her eyes" to send her to sleep before turning back to Gabby.
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Luckly Caligula is wrapped up in her performance, and doesn't see Xena sneak through the crowd. As Gabby finishes her dance, Caligula claps wildly and turns to his court to make sure they are doing the same. Xena uses this distraction to slip behind Gabrielle and whisper a question.

Caligula: (Clapping loudly) "Oh! Oh. Brilliant! Fabulous!"
Xena: (Whispers behind Gabrielle): "Did you get to Aphrodite?"
Gabrielle: (Whispers back as she stands with 2 canisters of fire in her hands) "She doesn't recognize us."
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[Laughter]
Caligula: (He turns back to the dancer, and sees the tall cloaked woman standing behind her, with the golden helmet still in place) "Saba! We've missed your company."
"Saba"/Xena: "I am at your command, sire." (And Gabrielle removes the cloak, showing the outfit that dropped 4 million jaws... along with Caligula's)
Caligula: "Oh-hoh. Careful I can have some pretty unusual commands."
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Caligula: Wow. But! Your idea about the chariot race, first we need to know that you're a worthy opponent to race the god, Caligula."
"Saba"/Xena: "Name your task, Lord. I will prove myself worthy of your indulgence."
Caligula: "Good." (A shirtless Ares is brought forward) Prove yourself. Kill him." [Laughs as Xena glares at the "Emperor"]


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ACT I ENDS:

 

Janeway, just wanted to say before i run off to work how much I'm enjoying your Xena reviews. I'm a recent convert to the show and it's been a delight reading your thoughts and seeing the links you've posted. Hope to get the opportunity to discuss it with you.

 

Why thank-you very much, noobster. I'm enjoying writing them, although I can never aspire to the level of the review masters at TwoP or Delta Blues.

I hope everyone feels free to jump in when they are comfortable to chat about this show. As I said in the OP so long ago, I was a snob about it in the 90's... and this now 7(?) month long review is my mea culpa to the show and its stars for not considering them "worthy" of my attention back then.

Oh. my. gawd.

How WRONG was I!

Tim; you, me and Saturn5 are "as one" in this regard.

 

it's a shame you can't put the actual episodes on the thread. did you catch breaking in they did xena parody? very funny? half way through seasone dvd. can't wait till season 3 love the musical episode.

 

Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT II: (This is one of those scenes you have to "see' to believe! )

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(Somehow during the commercial break, Xena managed to give the sword away and change the topic of conversation from executing Ares to prostituting Ares. Trust me... it IS funny!)

"Saba"Xena: "In a former life, my manager and I had a little floor show which we would like now to perform for you in honor of our emperor's exotic taste in entertainment."

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Caligula: "Now, you're talking."

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"Saba"Xena: (Xena starts to nibble on Ares chest when she suddenly stops and looks at the Emperor) "Do you want a piece of this?" (Ares looks like he's about to faint at this suggestion, as he glances nervously at Caligula)
Caligula: (Lays back down on his couch of pillows, and points to Aphrodite as his reason for abstaining ) "I'm tempted, deeply tempted, but I, uh... I-I-I-- I can't."

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"Saba"Xena: (She leaves Ares all hot and bothered, and walks towards Caligula) "Well, just as you like, though I would like to give you a taste of what you'll be missing."

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(Slowly she strolls over, removing her golden helmet as she leans in for a kiss. I love the way the camera cuts away from them to Ares and Gabrielle in each other's arms, staring intently at Xena kissing someone else.

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A kiss that will become more than "just" a kiss.

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Caligula: "Uh! Oh, you are the savage one."

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"Saba"Xena: "You have no idea." (She pulls away and returns to her "floor show") "And now, let us entertain you."
(Gabrielle has been basically entwined about Ares for most of this scene already, and now Xena returns to him like a hungry lumberjack at the all you can eat buffet. That's when Ares' delivers his best line of the night!)

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Ares: (Speaking for all men everywhere...I'm sure ) "You know, I have fantasized about this in a hundred different situations, I've gotta tell ya, I never got to this scenario."
Xena: (Partaking of Ares while watching Caligula out of the corner of her vision, as he FINALLY notices something unusual about his lip.) "Well, enjoy it while you can, 'cause in about 30 seconds all hell is gonna break loose."

(Caligula notices blood dripping onto his hand, and looks up to see what's dripping from the ceiling. Of course, its not coming from the ceiling, but from the pierced lip of the supposedly immortal emperor!)

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Caligula: "Oh! Guards! Put that woman in chains! Immediately!"

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Ares: (He can NOT believe his bad luck as Xena is pulled off him!!!) "Now?"
Aphrodite: (The world's worst timing!) "Come on. Don't make 'em go home now."
Caligula: "I said... no!" (And the beast spins and backhands the goddess across the face, his ring ripping across her forehead before she falls) "Everyone! I want this hall cleared! Immediately! All of you go!"

(As the room empties quickly of everyone except the guards, the newly chained Xena and Caligula, he turns to the closest centurion)
Caligula: "You! Guard! Come here, now! Take out your dagger! Do it! Stab me in the arm. Come on! Hah!
[He laughs as the blade goes in and is pulled out without leaving a scar, without losing a drop of blood]

Caligula: "I still have it. Oh! Oh, my sweet immortality."

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Xena watches the preceeding with interest, as the scene closes.

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I'm sure I posted this during the last "ep", but the first 1:20 belongs to this one, so I'm reposting. (Its like regifting, without having to wrap it!)

[yt] [/yt]

 

Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT II: Continues:

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Gabrielle has taken Aphrodite back to her room to examine the wound Caligula's ring made. The goddess is in "a mood".

Aphrodite: "Blood." [Laughs] "I'm gonna die." [Laughs]
Gabrielle: (Not seeing the big picture yet) "It's a small wound."
Aphrodite: "Oh, today, maybe, but then a bigger one and then one day, like every pathetic mortal, I'll be dead."
Gabrielle: "Aphrodite, listen to me. You know me, Aphrodite. I'm your friend."
Aphrodite: "I'm not staying here to listen to this!" (She tries to pull her god twinkle and disappear, but alas she just fades slightly then returns as solid as ever) " No. No."

Aphrodite & Gabrielle: Complicated: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AeN1lb93cA&feature=related

Meanwhile, back in the great hall, Caligula is still pacing as Xena stands in chains.

"Saba"/Xena: (Stretches the chain out in front of her) "Nice touch."

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Caligula: "Saba, when you bit my lip, you made me bleed. How is that possible? I'm an immortal."
"Saba"/Xena: "Join the club. Caligula, I am immortal, too."
Caligula: "Saba the charioteer's a god?"
"Saba"/Xena: (Suck up!) "No, Saba the Celtic goddess of sex is a god. When I heard that the Olympians had met an untimely end, I thought this was a perfect opportunity for me to spread my wings. And of course, when I saw you, I knew you'd make the perfect ally."

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Caligula: (Still not convinced) "Well, what power do you have?"
"Saba"/Xena: (Flirting shamelessly) "You've already experienced my powers. I have the ability to pierce the veil of immortality, to make gods bleed, to make gods die. It's an uncommon gift."
Calilgula: "And a risk for any god to keep you around."
"Saba"/Xena: "A risk not to, especially when you compare me to that
washed-out dish rag Aphoridite."
Caligula: [Snickers before looking around to find no-one at his side] "Where is she, anyway?"
"Saba"/Xena: "Forget her. She's weak." (The "Celtic Goddess" has gotten behind Caligula and used her chains to lasso him gently about the neck while she pulls herself up and down behind him) Now, how much better would it be if there were two healthy gods using one another?"
Caligula: (He pulls the chains from around his neck, and turns to face "Saba") "You mean you and I?"
"Saba"/Xena: "Well, otherwise, you'll be known as `Caligula, god of
messed-up freaks'."
Caligula: (The truth hurts!) "Oh! How dare you speak to me in that way?! Do you know who you're talking to?!"

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"Saba"/Xena: "Do you?" (And with that she leaps into the air, does several smersaults, cutting her chains on a spear point thrust from the wall, and then lands neatly in front of him, totally unencumbered!) "My offer's on the table, Caligula. And think about it, carefully. I make a very good friend-- and an even
better enemy."
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And with that she walks out of the great hall, flicking her arms up at the 2 centurions who briefly thought of blocking her way before they stood aside.

Xena may have left Caligula alone in his throne room, but the Pervert who would be Emperor isn't alone, if you count the voices he hears in his head!

Caligula's Mom: "Caligula-- "
Caligula: [Screams from the front of his throne at the darkness]
Caligula's Mom: "... my cowardly son. Don't you recognize your own mother's voice? I see you've become the pathetic man we always thought you'd be. You're the laughingstock of all Rome."
Calisto: "No!"
Caligula's Mom: "You murdered your own family for this?!"
Calisto: "I am a god! While you are just voices in my head!"
Caligula's Mom: [Laughs]
Calisto: "You're dead! Leave me alone!" [Screams]
Caligula's Mom: [Laughs] "Leave you alone?!"
Calisto: "By the Heavens! Somebody! Save me!"
Caligula's Mom: "Caligula you're the only one who can save yourself."
Michael: [Laughs at the emperor on the floor as he leans on the back of Caligula's throne]
Caligula: (Looks up at the winged creature) "What sort of demon are you?"

Meanwhile, "on the edge of town, IN the catacombs, kneels a young daughter doing her best to obey her god and her mother.

This time, the god wins.

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Eve: (She feels the pressure of his fingertips against her temples, and her eyes open willingly) "At last. I'm ready."

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Michael: "You are ready."
Eve: "Yes, Archangel."

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Michael: "You're afraid."
Eve: "No, it's, I'm... "

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Michael: "Have no fear." (And with that breathless command, he leads her away)


ACT II ENDS:

 

Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT III:

Heavy is the head that wears the laurel wreaths. http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_291cd.htm

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Eve: (She has the courage of her convictions, I grant her that!) "I give unto Caesar all that is Caesar's, but I bring also the message of Eli, the only true path to redemption."
Caligula: (Sadly, so does he... or so he thinks) "Oh, you are so earnest. This is going to be fun."
Eve: "Let go of lust and violence. Open your heart to truth and hope."
Caligula: (Actually weighs the 2, as if there WERE a contest for his darkened heart...) "Lust and violence or truth and hope. Hm-m... I think
I'll stick with the status quo." (He pulls his dagger to plunge it into the unresisting disciple of Eli when suddenly another disparaging voice is heard...)
"Saba"/Xena: "Oh, fabulous."

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Eve: [Whispers at yet another unasked for intervention by her parental unit] "What? What?"
(Stands and turns to look at the sexiest mother this side of Olympus striding into the great hall.)
"Saba"/Xena: "Caligula what on Earth did you think you were doing?"
Eve: "I don't need you to interfere with my mission!"
(Xena coldcocks the Eligian as if she were an insignificant bug. Eve collapses at the Warrior's feet as Xena then turns towards Caligula.)
"Saba"/Xena: "Granted she's a bit irritating, but why here and now?"

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Caligula: "Well, the demon with wings said that if I spilt her blood, it would ensure my legacy as the greatest of all gods."
"Saba"/Xena: (Ohhhh, she KNOWS who THAT is!) "The demon with wings?"
Caligula: "Hm-m." (He waves his hand and the centurions pick up the comatose Eve and take her away)
"Saba"/Xena: (Putting her arm around his shoulder, she begins explaining as if to a child) "My dear, why here and now, when there is neither sport nor glory in it?"
Caligula: (His ears perk up!) "Glory?"

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(I got to say, I like the way they "choreograph" this scene, Xena is literally dancing him down one end of the hall, and then he "tangos" her back to where they started)
"Saba"/Xena: "For your cult of blood. Why, this could be a missed opportunity. Every cult needs followers. If you were to, for example, exterminate the messenger of Eli in front of the masses, why..."
Caligula: "Yes, that would make them take notice."
"Saba"/Xena: (She applauds, the suck up!) "Superb."
Caligula: (The small and easily manipulated) "I am, aren't I?"

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"Saba"/Xena: "Why do you prefer Aphrodite to me?"
Cal: "It's not that I prefer her, my sweet. I just need one final thing from her."
"Saba"/Xena: (OH NOW she's all ears!) "What's that?"
Caligula: "A final kiss... goodbye." (And with that he leaves the Celtic God of Sex behind.)

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Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT III: continues

Meanwhile, back at Love goddess rehab, Gabrielle's intervention continues without much success, as Aphrodite lays on the edge of the "hot tub" lollygagging until Gabrielle gets her attention.

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Aphrodite: "I'm sorry. [Sighs] Why are you doing this to me? What do you want?"
Gabrielle: "I want my friend back."
Aphrodite: "I've never seen you before today. I could turn you into a mosquito, you know?"
Gabrielle: (I love it when she can play logic games with an impaired goddess and win) "You could have done that hours ago, but you didn't. You know why? Because you do know me. You don't want to hurt me."
Aphrodite: "Well, if we're such good friends, then how come I don't recognize you?"
Gabrielle: "Because you're giving up your identity to some maniac whom you claim to love." (Geez, ladies, I bet "we've" all had this conversation once or twice with our girlfriends, eh?)
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Wouldn't you know, just as Gabrielle is pulling out all the emotional stops with the goddess of love, Michael the Archangel shows up, sword drawn, to behead SOMEBODY in this room.

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As he draws back the sword over a frightened Gabrielle and an oblivious Aphrodite, a voice rings out that makes everyone turn towards the door.

Xena: "Michae-e-e-e-e-e-e-el!" (In she charges, and kicks the bejezus out of the Archangel, before stopping once more to trashtalk) "You tried to get Caligula to kill Eve to force my hand. Now you go after my girlfriends. That's not gonna happen. Bring it on."

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Silly Angel... why doesn't he learn?

And so the fight begins between Xena slayer of Gods, and Michael, Archangel of the one god. As they battle back and forth, Gabrielle is smart enough to stay out of the way, but you can see her ducking and swinging in the background, in support of her champion.

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Gabrielle: [Whispers] "Come on."

(Then, as we expect, Xena gets the upper hand and throws Michael INTO the "hot tub. Once there she puts the pinch on the wet Angel...)

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Xena: "Don't be afraid, Michael. OK, Michael you know the drill. You got 30 seconds." (The Angel doesn't respond, so she pushes his head under the water and holds him there, much to the consternation of her "best" friend.)
Gabrielle: "Xena, stop it!"
(She lets Michael up to breathe, then starts counting down the remainder of the time before the pinch itself kills him)
Xena: "10-- 9-- "

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Michael: "I was tryin' to kill Aphrodite, not Gabrielle! Because Caligula is threatening to become Eli's major foe and we can't allow the madman to become a full god which will surely happen if he kisses Aphrodite one more time and the only way I can do that is by killing Aphrodite!" (Are his 9 seconds up yet?)
Xena: (Poor Xena, the betrayed Mother is about to let her own inner demons loose) "I've got one more question for ya... "
Michael: "Huh?"
Xena: "What happens to angels when they die?"

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(And the Warrior Mom turned Warrior Executioner pushes the Archangel once more under the water as Gabrielle protests yet again.)
Gabrielle: "Xena, stop it!"

(Xena should have listened to Gabrielle. I bet you can guess what happens next. "The Lord giveth... and the Lord Taketh away!)

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Xena: "Yah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!"

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(As Xena is engulfed in the searing light from the heavens, Gabrielle must shield her eyes from the bright light. Michael is released not just from her grasp, but from her pinch as well and stands up to revel in her punishment just before he's recalled into the heavens.)

Michael: [Laughs like the Jolly Green Giant in the old TV commercials]

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_364cd.htm

(As the Angel leaves, so does the light about Xena, and Gabrielle comes running to her side.)

Xena: (Gasps) "It's gone. They've taken it away from me."
Gabrielle: "What? What is it?"
Xena: "The power to kill gods, Gabrielle.. it's gone."

(As Gabrielle comforts Xena, Caligula enters the room with his centurions until he sees a passed out Aphrodite)

Caligula: "I've been looking for you, Aphrodite."

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_371cd.htm

 

Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT IV:

Caligula drops down onto the comatose Aphrodite, and takes that final kiss the Archangel feared so much, draining the goddess of her remaining immortality.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_372cd.htm

You can tell that getting her godkilling powers stripped from her has unsettled Xena, since she reacted wayyyyy too slow to prevent that kiss from happening.

"Saba"/Xena: "No-o-o-o!" (And she kicks Caligula off Aphrodite.)

Caligula: (Absolute power results in absolute cluelessness) "Your passion for me overrides your good sense but I like that in a woman. I will forgive your jealous outburst... because... (He flies over their heads, to land on the opposite side of the room) whoa! Oh, yeah! I feel good! Watch me!" (and he disappears in a golden twinkle)

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_378cd.htm

As the new god whooshes away, the girls hear a noise and turn back to Aphrodite.

Gabrielle: (She's kneeling over the former goddess as she's trying to bring her more awake ) "Aphrodite, hey."
Aphrodite: "Gabrielle, I know we're like, close, but is this
appropriate?" (SHE'S BACKKKKKK! )

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_381cd.htm

Gabrielle: (Hopeful, but not yet convinced) "Is it really you?"

Aphrodite: [Laughs as she stands with Xena's help] "OK, Gabs, has anyone ever told you that you can be like, a total ditz?" (Says the lady with mascara streaming down her face)
Xena: "Aphrodite, what do you think about Caligula?"
Aphrodite: (gets a look like someone's just asked her to eat raw worms) "Um, nothing. Caligula... ew-w-w."
Xena: (To Gabrielle) "The bond between them's been broken."
Aphrodite: (Call me clueless) "Yeah. OK, whatever. I'm getting us out of here."
(And she tries to do the twinkle thing... but nothing happens, not even a brief fade out this time. Xena can't deny the truth anymore than Aphrodite can....)

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_389cd.htm

Xena: "You can't, Aphrodite. Caligula is truly a god, now."

Caligula Ewww!:





Act continues:

 

Episode 124 season 6 # 12 "The God You Know"

ACT IV:

Xena arrives in the dungeon to see Ares & Eve... this time without bothering to don the cloak or the golden helmet. She orders the centurions to let her into the cell AND to leave them alone.

The girl's got chutzpah, you've got to grant her that!

"Saba"Xena: "Open the door. Leave us.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_391cd.htm

"Saba"Xena: (She turns first to her daughter, the one she KNOCKED OUT with ONE punch the last time she saw her) Eve...
(Eve will have nothing to do with her, and so Ares steps to the forefront)
Ares: (At least he's not clueless!) "What's happened?"

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_393cd.htm

Xena: (Don't kill the messenger) "Aphrodite's got her mind back, but she's lost her
immortality."
Ares: (Resigned) "So he's a full god, now."

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Xena: (Xena's obviously a "rip the bandaide off all at once" kind of gal) "It gets worse. Eli has stripped me of my power to kill gods. It means I have no way of halting Caligula's madness. (She turns from the former god of War, to the Messenger of Eli... she's NOT talking about losing her godkilling powers now.) Eve, I'm sorry."

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Eve: (Eve knows what the apology was for...) "It wasn't the punch that hurt. You trampled right over the decision I had made."
Xena: (Welcome to Gabrielle's world, Eve. You'll get used to it, and you'll live longer because of it! ) "I had to, Eve."
Eve: "No, you forget, Mother, it's my life. It's my death. It's my choice." (Silly silly little girl!)
Xena: (Mama starts into her windup, before delivering the final pitch) "No, you forget. I am your mother, and I would die before I'd let him touch a hair on your head."

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Eve: (Sadly, too true for these two 26 years apart in time and yet only 6 years apart in age) "You can't protect me from all the cruelty in the world
forever, Mother."
Xena: (I love her plans EVEN MORE than the "A Team's!) "Well, it's funny you should say that."

Suddenly we cut from the dark cell to the bright sunshine of the Roman courtyard where this story first began. Eve is tied up and being dragged behind a horse, a horse ridden by the Gold helmeted, Black cloaked SABA, Celtic god of Sex.

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"Saba" drags her up the stairs where she's tied to a post for all to see.

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Caligula arrives with his centurions to make an announcement.

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Caligula: "Citizens of Rome! You are here to witness a chariot race celebrating the allegiance between your god-emperor and his new queen... the goddess Saba!"

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Romans: "Hail to the queen!" "Long may she reign!"
Caligula: "The victor of the race wins the right to kill Eve of the Elijans, formerly Livia, the whore of Rome!"

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"Saba"/Xena: (She turns to the crowd and shouts the Roman equivalent of "Gentlemen, start your engines") "Let it begin!"

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The race leaves the city and meanders around the countryside... the good people at whoosh.org point out the horse inconsistencies in the race (brown horse intermittently on right and then left side)... but I think what the editors did was just flip the scene to reuse it, making it look like they had more race footage than they really had. As Rob Tapert likes to say, "The Trickery of film making".

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http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_446cd.htm

Despite racing a "god", and getting lashed by him with his whip enroute, and dodging errant fireballs in the city, Xena STILL makes it back to the city first, and dismounts before Caligula can crash his chariot into the square.

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Xena races to the steps, to put herself between Eve and Caligula, in case he tries to reneg on his deal.

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He doesn't, in fact he actually sounds like he's trying to be a "good sport" about losing the race. Well... "kind of" sounds like it.

Caligula: "Well... that was quite a race! I guess you're gonna be the one who spills the blood."
"Saba"/Xena: "Yes, I've been waiting for this opportunity a long time-- only it won't be her blood that's spilt today." (And she removes her helmet, for the first time, before the crowd of ordinary Romans, while somewhere behind her, a schill yells out on cue)
Gabrielle's Voice: "That's Xena....That's Xena, the warrior princess!"
Roman's Voice: "Xena?"

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Caligula: "Xena? Xena-- I know that name. Yes, Xena... slayer of..." (Audible gulp, from the newest god in the pantheon) "gods."

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Xena: (Warrior Princess... Warrior Mom!) "Also known as Xena, mother of the girl you so charmingly called...`Whore of Rome'."
Caligula: (don't you like it when the bad guy starts to sweat!) "Uh ... perhaps we could renegotiate... the exact terms of the prize."
Xena: "No."

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(The crowd smells blood, and it doesn't belong to an Elijian!)
Crowd: "Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!"

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Xena: "The only thing we'll negotiate is what happens to you. Caligula, I have been killing gods for years and you can hardly throw a fireball straight. So you gotta ask yourself, do you feel lucky?" (Do NOT play poker with this woman!)

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Crowd: "Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena! Xena!"
Caligula: "I am your emperor! I am your god! How dare you not give me the respect that I deserve!"
Roman's Voice: "... Caligula."
Calgula: "You're nothing!"
Crowd: [Jeers]
Caligula: "I allow you to worship me!"
Crowd: [Laughs and a small girl pulls a tomato from her dress and throws it at the pervert who would be emperor, nailing him right in the face.]
Woman's Voice: "Perfect!"
Xena: (Xena leans over the cowering god, wiping some of the red pulp from his forehead as she pours out her honeyed voice onto his tortured soul.) "Hold on, Caligula, I'm going to spare you the humiliation of dying on your knees."

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Caligula: "Please--"
Xena: "Listen to me. Still, you're gonna have what you've always wanted, your place amongst the pantheon of Roman gods. What better way to start your new cult of blood, than with the ultimate act of bloodshed... the spilling of your own blood?"
Roman's Voice: "Down with Caligula!"
Caligula: "They... they hate me."

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Xena: (She coos) "Don't listen to them."
Caligula: "They think I'm weak!"

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Xena: "Then prove to them you're not. Caligula, kill yourself. If I kill ya, why, you're just another dead god. But if you were to kill yourself... " (Warrior Princess, Warrior Svengali lines up in sword point on his abdomen and places his hands on the hilt)
Caligula: "... then... then my name lives forever."

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Xena: "Forever... yes. Do it, Caligula. Take your rightful place.
[Whispers] Do it. I understand you."

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Caligula: "Yes-- live-- forever. Yuh! Yes! Uh!"

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(Yes, yes, I KNOW... gods can't kill themselves or else Callisto wouldn't have needed the hinds blood. STOP nitpicking already! Sit back and enjoy... er... well... sit back and learn from his mistakes.)

Xena: "The only person in all Rome who could kill Caligula... was Caligula."

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Now... before you get all philosophic on me, regarding whether Xena was right in doing what she did... let me just say that XENA beat you to it. Oh, and not to put too fine a point on it, but you really should be listening for hints of the finale throughout this final season.

One's about to show up.

Xena is out of her Saba outfit and back into those leathers we know so well. She's being approached by the woman who knows her the best.

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Gabrielle: "How are you feeling?"
Xena: (Now this is a level of honesty we don't usually see in our "heroes") "Dirty. How should I feel?"
Gabrielle: (Still not seeing the BIGGER Picture) "Xena, there was nothing you could do. He was evil."

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Xena: (Says the former "Destroyer of Nations") "No.. he was damaged. He wasn't evil."

Nearby, on a bed, we find Ares lying in the middle, while Aphrodite and Eve are sitting on the edge.

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Aphrodite: (Trying her best to twinkle her way out of there, and FAILING miserably) "It's not fair. Uh! It's not fair! Oh, it's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!"
(I LOVE this next line!)

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_518cd.htm


Ares: "Welcome to my nightmare, Sis."
Gabrielle: (Smiles at the two gods she knows the best, who now walk as mere mortals) "Hm-m."

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Aphrodite: (Looking for a touchstone?) "Gabrielle when you were trying to get through to me earlier, you said a coupl'a times that you were my friend. Did you really mean that?"

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Gabrielle: (She looks a little hesitant here, maybe she fears another kissing scene with the former goddess?) "Absolutely."
Aphrodite: (To her brother) "How cloyingly sentimental..." (To Gabrielle) "... but very much appreciated."
Xena: (Waves to her daughter, sitting quietly on the bed) "All right, everyone, let's get outta here. Come on."

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Eve: (Slides under Xena's left arm as they walk away) "Are you sorry, Mother? To lose your greatest gift? The ability to kill gods?"

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Xena: "Nah, it'll just make life spicier. Besides, I've still got my two greatest gifts..." (And she stretches her right arm out to wrap around Gabrielle) and I've got no intention of losing either of them."

Now... although that's the end of the transcipt... its NOT the end of the "story". What the transcript doesn't tell you, is that as the trio walked away from the bed, Aphrodite grabbed Ares hand and the two of them "rocked" themselves to bring Ares to a standing position. As the trio spoke their last lines... Aphrodite threw a "lovetap punch" into her brother's left shoulder... and he dropped back and "feinted" a punch back at her... before the two just smiled at each other and he put his arm over her shoulder and she about his waist as they walked after their mortal mentors.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/tgyk/pages/tgyk_mq_530cd.htm

Speaking as a sister... I can "so" see that happening.

THE END

 

I thought I had read this somewhere....

http://reneeoconnor.info/2011/04/rereleased-xena-warrior-princess-season-2-dvd---no-extras.html

... as I said earlier, be careful what you are purchasing re: new dvds. Evidently the new ones don't have the extras on them.

How do you know if the internet (shopping site) versions have it or not? Good question.

Again, the 6 season set I purchased last fall DOES have the extras, but I can't predict if they will "always" have them. Look before you buy.

 

Interesting ep, great performance from Alexis Arquette. Love the scene where Aphrodite puts the moves on Gabby but she turns her down. Did we ever find out exactly how she lost her powers. Nice to see the Ares/Dite relationship and good to have Eve back

 

Arquette was perfectly slimey as Caligula, though I was surprised that TPTB didn't exhibit more of his bloodthirsty proclivities.

I did think it "strange" (and blame it on poor story logic) that Michael was trying to "force" Xena to kill Caligula... why not just have Eli give HIM the godkilling power and do it himself?

In reality, TPTB needed to rid Xena of this "power" (per a discussion on a dvd interview many eps before) AND they needed Xena to come out the victor, so they couldn't follow "real world" logic and stuck to Xenaverse logic.

I don't think we ever get the reason "why" Caligula could be the succubus, as Ares called him.

(Or, more appropriately an incubus, per the wiki resource. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succubus http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incubus )

He merely suggests Caligula is "sucking" her godhood from her, and we see something transfer during their kisses which agrees with his theory.

Aphrodite was quite the fickle god this week, wasn't she! Coming onto Ares in the courtyard.. "Bad touching, BAD touching!") to Caligula (Euwww!) to Gabrielle.

Well, lets see... that means Aphrodite joins a long line of women falling for the Bard.

Thelassa...

Najara... (twice)

Brunhilda...

Xena...

Do you realize... Gabby's deathrate among female admirers is nearly as bad as among males?

 

In searching for vids for the next ep, I've come across some funny ones that don't "quite" fit, but still deserve to be shared.



WHEN did Xena wear curtains on her shoulder epaulets? @ 1:57

For Gabby fans Calendar Girl: (That nutbread scene STILL makes me smile! )

Oh GAWD! I Love it when they make me LAUGH!!!!


Oh geezzz... and when they make me smile... and make me cry... and...

WHERE was this when I was looking for vids for "Old Ares Had a farm"??? To be fair, has lots from other eps too, but STILL!

 

Episode 125 season 6 # 13 "And you are There"...

For anyone too young to remember the source show, much less the original radio show. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1480691


This show is the final chapter in the Norse Tetralogy... but worry not, they've checked the angst at the door THIS time, thank the gods.

Remember when I complained about the LONG stretch between comedies between season 5's "Married with Fishsticks" and season 6's "Old Ares Had a Farm"?

Well, we didn't have to wait for another 16 shows to pass before we got another comedy THIS time. In fact, between now and the end of the season we get FOUR comedies, and none of them make me cringe like "The Play's the Thing"!

Anyway... If you recall, when Xena set off for the Norse lands early this season, it took her several weeks to get there, with Gabrielle on her tail the whole way.

This time, the two are traveling together,

http://mikes-images.com/eps/yat/pages/yat_mq_002cd.htm

and we watch them by horseback, as the sun rises and sets,

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and the moon rises and sets, and then they travel by boat until they finally arrive in snow country at the local tavern.

Oh, and just in case you aren't sure WHERE they are heading, we are treated to a shot of a RAVEN watching them arrive, and then it wings off to Valhalla to inform a VERY unhappy King of the Norse gods just WHO has come "home".

In the tavern, we find an old friend.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/yat/pages/yat_mq_011cd.htm

Gabrielle: (Smiles as she turns the Viking at the bar towards her) "Beowulf."
Beowulf [Burps. Yep... its going to be THAT kind of ep! ] "Gabrielle."
Gabrielle: [Chuckles, perhaps at the foam from his ale, still clinging to his mouth] "It's good to see you."
Beowulf: "And you, Gabrielle."
Xena: (bringing up the rear) "Hey."
Beowulf: (Turns his attention quickly to the Warrior Princess, ignoring Gabrielle completely) "Xena... you're a long way from home. "

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Xena: (The "slight" is not lost upon the Thracian) "What's goin' on, Beowulf. Last time you saw Gabrielle, you were willing to walk through a column of fire to be at her side."
Beowulf: (He shrugs, embarrassed) "It was lovestruck foolishness. I like my bones the way they are..." (Let me point out he has a black glove covering his left hand, the one we saw burned in "Return of the Valkyries) "...without the flesh seared from them. Rest, slake your thirst."

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Xena: "We didn't come here to drink with you, Beowulf. I need to see Odin."
Beowulf: "You know where to find him."
Gabrielle: (She Speaks!) "In Valhalla, but it's not easy to get there."
(Enter a trio of unhappy Valkyrie)
Sieglinda: "For some! But you were a Valkyrie once, Xena. You know the way to Valhalla. Die a hero's death. I'll escort you there myself."
Xena: "That's part of my long-range plan. Right now, I just need to see Odin."
Sieglinda: "Odin doesn't need to see you. In fact, we have orders to keep you away from him." (And she raises her sword "menacingly")

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Xena: ( I LOVE the expression on her face when she says this!!!) "Well, I don't wanna make a sister Valkyrie look bad, but you're gonna have trouble following those orders."
Sieglinda: "Think so?"
Xena: "Mm-hm-m."

[Fight]

And this is where the story gets turned on its head... because OUTSIDE the tavern, we see an investigative television reporter set up for a shot, as he listens to the brawl about to spill out onto the front of the tavern.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/yat/pages/yat_mq_025cd.htm

Interviewer: "OK, OK, are we rolling? Sound? check, check. Testing, 1, 2, 3... Mary... had a little lamb. Great. (The sound boom hits him in the head as 2 Valkyrie are thrown out of the tavern and land on the frozen ground) Ow. Ow. All right. OK." (To his cameraman) "Come on, let's go. Coming through. Excuse me, excuse me. This way; come on."
(Xena tossesSieglinda out of the tavern, and follows her down the stairs.)
Xena: "All right. Get out!"
Interviewer: (To his "audience", the camera) "Here's Xena now". (Whispers) "I think we're just gonna go over and talk to her. Excuse me, coming through. Oh! Sorry, Valkyries." (Meets up with XWP at the bottom of the stairs) "Uh, now [Clears throat], Xena [Clears throat]-- would you care to tell me why you've returned to the Norselands at this time? You realize, Odin has vowed to kill you should you return to Valhalla. Would you care to comment on that threat? Xena?"

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Xena, for her part, has NO interest in the pesky little man.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/yat/pages/yat_mq_032cd.htm

She is struck by and confused at the microphone he's holding in front of her... and the camera being pointed at her, and she ZEROS in on that lens like its a new monster she's never seen before.

http://mikes-images.com/eps/yat/pages/yat_mq_033cd.htm

TEASER ENDS:

Portuguese promo

(I think this has got to be ONE of the, if not THE shortest teaser in the entire series!)

 

Forgot about Ares and Dite, I guess their legendary fling was a little too much even for a series as kinky as this?

Still on to better things, namely 'You are there', the best ep of season 6 and possibly my favourite ep ever!

 

I've just started watching this series again (a summer tradition for me!) and after watching the "Pilot", I gotta say one of the worst things in this show is the A.D.R.! I mean when you hear offscreen characters yelling stuff like "Get outta here, Xena!", "We don't trust you!", "Now we got her!", and "Never again!"...oh MAN, is that ever cheesy!

The rest of it was pretty cool, though. Right off the top, there's this uneasy dichotomy between the corny elements like Xena's battle cry and the wacky fighting scenes (does anyone else HATE how stupid and fake that fight between Draco and Xena is where they're balancing themselves by standing on peoples' heads?) and some seriously effective dramatic business like Xena's guilt over her past crimes. Real sweet ending with Gabby already starting to teach Xena about friendship too.

Back on topic with the thread, I agree with saturn5 - "You Are There" is a hell of an episode. I love the format-bending gimmickry of it and the obvious, yet perfect closing gag about the Xena/Gabrielle love speculation. Sometimes the best jokes can be the easiest ones to make. Also, I think I enjoyed Ares more as a figure of comedy like he was in the farm episode and when he and Aphordite bickered than when he was a serious threat. Ares was always great to watch, though, both as a buffoon and a seriously dangerous villain.

 

I miss first run syndication, there was a lot of good TV made in the format.

As for the show, never was a fan when it was on, but it didn't seem bad.

 

Well, I don't think it has anything to do with level of kinkiness on this show... since Ares has ALREADY had an affair with Gabrielle's daughter and fathered Gabrielle's grandson.

It probably has more to do with such an affair would detract from the main story of Xena.

If Ares is off gallivanting with Aphrodite, then he can't be plotting to woo Xena back.

 

I "used" to be bothered by the corniness of the yell/fight scenes/cartwheeling being FASTER than running etc... but then I realized something.

That "corniness" made all the angst bearable. And man oh man, was there EVER a lot of angst in this show!

Think about it, the HEROINE has been a bloodthirsty murderer for at least 10 years! As we learn from the current ep, though many see her AS a hero, many more can't get past the thousands who died at her/her army's hands.

I do love this ep, "And you Are There". Love the way its a commentary on today's society (what happens when one takes "love" for granted, when its spurned, etc), not to mention the way it pillories modern day "journalism", especially its inappropriate invasion of that right so many throw away now a days. Privacy.