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Amaris
Guest
Mine is *A* strawberry. That's what the North Sea does to you.
You shouldn't go skinny dipping in the North Sea.
Eh, Germany disagrees with you.
Why am I not living in Germany?
list of boyfriend rules
- Thread starter rhubarbodendron
- Start date
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Why am I not living in Germany?
Since I did not "put anyone else down" nor condemn them, even when ridiculed, your calling me out is pointless.No one has judged you for whatever personal standards you choose to live by. If you don't want to kiss on a first date, that's your business. It's when you treat your personal preferences as the standard for all others to follow, or look down on those who do something different, that people tend to call you on it.I know my views may be old-fashioned. As a widower who lost his soul mate to a distracted driver, I tend to compare future mates to the high standards we shared. Why would I want someone who is not compatible?
IDIC is more than GR's commercial gimmick. It means 3 things:
1 -"Can't we all just get along?"
2 -"Live and let live."
3 -We are all different, yet together we are complete.
I don't dislike you based upon the standards you set. Please don't dislike me for mine.
You insinuated that kissing on a first date is indicative of people who are only interested in dating for sex as if it were fact for everyone. That's not true, and people pointed that out. That's all.
Also, throwing out IDIC as a philosophical afterthought doesn't give one carte blanche to be rude or judgmental beforehand. People on this board misuse and abuse the meaning of IDIC only slightly less than they do political correctness.
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Amaris
Guest
You'd let me give you a chaste peck on the cheek, now wouldn't you Sector 7? 
/big-doe-eyes
/big-doe-eyes
You mean the part where you said that anyone who simply kissed at the end of the first date was only "in it for the sex" and dismissed any chance of them being interested in any other kind of relationship based on that one tiny token of affection?
It was absurd, somewhat offensive, judgemental and plain wrong. So yes he was quite right to call you out on it, as was anyone else participating in the thread.
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Amaris
Guest
Shh!
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Amaris
Guest
Only for you, J.You'd let me give you a chaste peck on the cheek, now wouldn't you Sector 7?
You really should read my entire post. Speaking of judgmental, you should try reading your own posts. I'm done here.
As was this discussion, two weeks ago, until you felt the need to bring it up again.
Hmmm...
My list is short and sweet.
1. Humor.
If you don't have a sense of humor, I cannot deal with you.
2. Loyalty or Monogamy.
Either don't cheat on me or at least have the courtesy to tell me before you do so that way we can end it and you can have your jollies.
3. Respect my family. Me and you can fight all we want, but don't you dare yell or fight or threaten my family. I've already dealt with someone who nearly gave my mom a heart attack. Not going to go through that again.
4. Independence.
I want you to want me, but I still need my space and ability to live my own life.
5. Intelligence.
Self...evident?
My list is short and sweet.
1. Humor.
If you don't have a sense of humor, I cannot deal with you.
2. Loyalty or Monogamy.
Either don't cheat on me or at least have the courtesy to tell me before you do so that way we can end it and you can have your jollies.
3. Respect my family. Me and you can fight all we want, but don't you dare yell or fight or threaten my family. I've already dealt with someone who nearly gave my mom a heart attack. Not going to go through that again.
4. Independence.
I want you to want me, but I still need my space and ability to live my own life.
5. Intelligence.
Self...evident?
now, seriousely: people who put their kid into such a T-shirt ought to be taken away the custody for their children. They ridicule the kid plus send a completely wrong message about sex. A 100% parental fail.
belated congrats, J. Allen
I trust you haven't eaten any sauerkraut yet? (over here a belated congrats counts as still being in time, as long as the person hasn't eaten kraut)
As for other German customs: yes, skinny dipping in the North Sea or in fact in any lake, river or major waterbody is considered quite normal here. In Summer, you can see people sunning themselves during their lunch break in every park. Topless is considered totally acceptable for both genders, bottomless depends on your taste (and on whether there are ants in the lawn). The English Garden in Munich is rather famous with tourists for the sightseeing opportunities in the word's boldest meaning.
Just for the record: while I join the skinny dipping and sunbathing I never kiss at a first date. Nor on the 2nd or 3rd. I kiss a person only if and when I am deeply and honestly in love with him (or her, for that matter) and falling in love is a process that takes time. (To prevent any misunderstandings please note that I make a difference between love and having a crush on someone or finding a person sexually attractive or being in the mood for a one night stand.)
It's a wide shot but I suspect it may have something to do with age. The older you get, the more you focus your definition of love. It's no longer the hot all-consuming flare you experience when you are young. It gets something very calm and immeasurably deep, like a huge lake or like a velvety sky in a warm summer night. It takes decades till you find it but once you found it you'll never look back and you'll just smile at what you used to think was love.
I think that is what Sector 7 meant. He was among the few who were given the grace to spend some time with their soul mate. Not everyone is so lucky but I sincerely hope all of you will at one time in your life experience it. It'll change your views forever.
belated congrats, J. Allen
I trust you haven't eaten any sauerkraut yet? (over here a belated congrats counts as still being in time, as long as the person hasn't eaten kraut)As for other German customs: yes, skinny dipping in the North Sea or in fact in any lake, river or major waterbody is considered quite normal here. In Summer, you can see people sunning themselves during their lunch break in every park. Topless is considered totally acceptable for both genders, bottomless depends on your taste (and on whether there are ants in the lawn). The English Garden in Munich is rather famous with tourists for the sightseeing opportunities in the word's boldest meaning.
Just for the record: while I join the skinny dipping and sunbathing I never kiss at a first date. Nor on the 2nd or 3rd. I kiss a person only if and when I am deeply and honestly in love with him (or her, for that matter) and falling in love is a process that takes time. (To prevent any misunderstandings please note that I make a difference between love and having a crush on someone or finding a person sexually attractive or being in the mood for a one night stand.)
It's a wide shot but I suspect it may have something to do with age. The older you get, the more you focus your definition of love. It's no longer the hot all-consuming flare you experience when you are young. It gets something very calm and immeasurably deep, like a huge lake or like a velvety sky in a warm summer night. It takes decades till you find it but once you found it you'll never look back and you'll just smile at what you used to think was love.
I think that is what Sector 7 meant. He was among the few who were given the grace to spend some time with their soul mate. Not everyone is so lucky but I sincerely hope all of you will at one time in your life experience it. It'll change your views forever.
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Amaris
Guest
...
belated congrats, J. Allen
...
Thank you, and no, I haven't had any sauerkraut yet. I've had spicy pickles, but no sauerkraut.
Anyhoo, when it comes to dating, I'll allow just about anything on a first date.
Never had sauerkraut?!
That is indeed a shame. I love cabbage, cabbage, cabbage.. in any form.
Someone mail J. some sauerkraut!!!
That is indeed a shame. I love cabbage, cabbage, cabbage.. in any form.
Someone mail J. some sauerkraut!!!
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Amaris
Guest
Oh, no I haven't had any since my birthday. I've eaten sauerkraut, the most beloved of all krauts.
Well you just haven't had good cabbage.. I prefer it cooked asian style, in stir fries, in dim sum, in KIMCHI which is absolutely glorious stuff and goes well with beer. A good cabbage is sweet, a lot of people have just had very badly cooked old bitter cabbage. A cabbage should be sweet enough that you eat it raw and it is delicious.
Also, red cabbage. Chopped very thinly, as slaw with just about anything else.
Also, red cabbage. Chopped very thinly, as slaw with just about anything else.
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