TOS Caption Contest #283: Caption, Caption

[Delta Vega]

Kirk............."You would think, in this day and age, we`d have widescreen, HD and a fucking remote"

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Next, we have the "Sounds good right now, but just you wait..." Award, going to:

I'm honored, LeadHead!

Humanoid Kirk: Obviously, we've materialized in some sort of alternate universe, in which our counterparts are bipedal creatures with bilateral symmetry, who wear clothing for protection instead of our natural armor plating.

Mirror Chekov: But ze agony booth really vas inwented in Russia! Arrrarrarrrgggh!

Kirk: It's a clever gambit, immobilizing us by doing nothing, forcing us to do nothing, except to monitor him, until he actually does something.

Mirror Marlena: Genius.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: That's it. Bones, you're fired. Scotty, you're in charge of making the still.

SCOTTY: I thought you'd never ask.

 

[Triskelion]

McCoy: Sorry, Jim. We tried reverse-engineering the hot pocket but it kept creating a subspace field inversion.
Kirk: Did you try rotating the frequency?
Scotty: The hell is he on about? These aren't bloody shield harmonics.
Kirk: DID YOU TRY ROTATING THE FREQUENCY?!

 

[jep]

Kirk: "I just cannot believe this."

McCoy: "What, Jim, that we're in a parallel universe?"

Kik: "What? No. I can't believe that in this universe, Chuck Norris is a pussy.


.

 

[Noname Given]

Kirk: Look, I'm all for unique experiences at costume parties, Bones; but group fingerpainting? Really?

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: What do they mean, a lot of our stuff is scientifically inaccurate? Look at this professional and high-tech lab, we rock the science!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "Now that's what I call a tall, cool drink!"
Uhura: "Why, thank you, Doctor! It's probably this uniform--"
McCoy: "I'm talking about that blue stuff."

 

[Roddenberry]

Kirk: Scotty's homebrew makes me forget what happened last night.
McCoy/Uhura/Scotty (in unison, nervously) : Aye, me too sir.

Shatner: I swear this fit me properly last season.
Nimoy: Of course it did Bill.
Doohan: It's even worse from the rear, like two shaved tribbles having a make out session.

Balding Blueshirt: Only took him down to my local, The Slaughtered Lamb and Chekov falls foul of the local wild life yet again.

Big Brother voice over guy: Spock's been sent to the diary room, unbeknownst to him, the other house mates have been allowed to watch.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

McCoy: That spot, I spilled acid there a year ago!

Scotty: Orientine?

McCoy: No, Dancing Bear-IV. Jim, we're in trouble! The stuff was in solution, but it's extremely volatile. We could feel the effects almost immediately. No sense of time, unusual but selective hallucinations, group psychosis—

Kirk: This has already been one helluva bad trip!

 

[NTRPRZ]

Bones, I don't care how many AMT or Polar Lights models of the Enterprise you've built, you still need to clean up your modeling desk.

 

[NTRPRZ]

<<Deleted>>

 

[NTRPRZ]

Marlena: You'll like this one. It's fast paced, witty, urbane, exciting, well written and totally believable!

Kirk: Now I know I'm in an alternate universe!

 

[LeadHead]

New contest will start either tonight or tomorrow!

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: TOMORROW?!?!?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Mirror Kirk: "Well, if you're going to keep me locked up in here, you could at least send me your captain's woman!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Mirror Kirk: "Well, if you're going to keep me locked up in here, you could at least send me your captain's woman!"

Spock: "Alphabetical or do you want me to mix it up?"

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK LEADHEAD: I have to put a new shirt! Can't you be patient for the contest?

 

[LeadHead]

As promised, a new contest!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Dam missed it..
oh well what the hey..

Bald guy: "I hear it like getting the Lorena Bobbitt chop, and having it bit off at the same time"
Other guy: "Ouch!!!, I read about her in Ancient history"