... and your comment seems to only be talking about gay men and not gay women, who aren't prone to flaming.
You've not known some of my lesbian friends, obviously! But then, again, I don't think we're using the same definition of flaming. What
I'm talking about is the period right after a person comes out of the closet when they discover and begin displaying the rainbow, the pink triangle, etc. When they start listening to a lot more gay music like the aforementioned Erasure and Pet Shop Boys and also Etheridge and Mercury and so on, and watching a lot of gay movies like "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", "Boys Don't Cry", "To Wong Foo", and such. They suddenly want to go to a gay/lesbian bar when they may not be the sort of person that even likes bars at all, and they want to go to a pride rally even though they're an introvert that hates crowds. And for a little while, they frequently make the mistake of thinking that ALL LGBTQ people must be NICE because "they've been through what I've been through", before they painfully learn that, no, being an a*hole is equal opportunity.
Before very long (varies, of course, on how long), they settle back down into being themselves again, just with their homosexuality integrated in - watching a movie with straight characters no longer
automatically provokes a conversation about "I think character A was actually gay", and the aforementioned introvert is now okay being gay in the same comfortable places where they were trying to play straight before - nothing to prove to his- or herself anymore that requires getting out in crowds.
I think you think by "flaming" I'm talking about acting like Jack off "Will and Grace".

No, this is a subtler thing, but I've seen it a LOT.