SORAN: How is there Cheeto dust in here?! We don't even have Cheetos!
Movie Caption Contest #241: Also Starring
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SORAN: How is there Cheeto dust in here?! We don't even have Cheetos!
Khan: What on Earth is this thing with renaming the decks of your ships with letters rather than numbers? It makes no sense!
Khan: Wait a moment, Admiral. I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Khan: "Excuse me, Admiral, but my workplace safety officer, Joachim, has asked me to point out that the headrests on your helm and navigation chairs are improperly positioned."
Kirk: Just one question, Khan, before I surrender and transmit the Genesis information...
Khan: I grant you this one question, but make it quick.
Kirk: Chekov. How the Hell did you know who he was? He wasn't even on board the Enterprise when we first encountered you!
Khan: This conversation is over! Forget the Genesis information, I'll be blowing up your ship now.
Lily: When did Earth get a new moon?
Cochrane: That's no moon!
Soran: Hold on, I seem to be able to pull up Lt. LaForge's text messages. He seems to be talking about some woman named Brahms. Something about how she's a "Hottie McHotterson," "she's the hottest hottie that ever hottied," the other person comments that her smile is "totes adorbs," and Geordi replies, "Totes MaGotes."
B'etor: And, yet, when we destroy them, the universe will view us as the villains!
Soran (sotto voce to Klingon standing beside him): "I couldn't help but notice Lursa's and B'Etor's fetching outfits. Odd what the armor plates cover and don't cover. Tell me, are young rapscallions trying to covertly slip their hands off women's breasts and onto their shoulders a big problem on Qo'noS?"
Klingon: "When it comes to our women, we are a very confused species."
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The Thtarthip, Both! The Thtarthip, the thtarthip!
Shut the fuck up, Joachim.
Lily: The Vulcanthz, Both! The Vulcanthz, the Vulcanthz!
Zephram: Get a life, everyone! Get a life!
Lily: I love us. We're so meta.
Why am I detecting Alaskan taint cells on this thing?
Khan: "Yes, he's taller than Tattoo, but not as smart. It's pretty much a wash."
Khan: Admiral, I shall spare your ship if you arrange to have Joachim's agent executed immediately.
Kirk: Why would we do that?
Joachim: Bastard took my name out of the credits, that's why! <---- true fact, BTW
Khan: "Ah, Kirk, my old friend, I see your uniforms have changed. The miniskirts are gone. A pity.
Khan: Forgive us, Admiral, could you send someone over with some chest wax?
Sulu: I'm not doing anything.
Lily: Look, that pigeon is totally humping that other pigeon.
Zephram: AS OPPOSED TO WHAT?!
Just a minute, I'm trying to calibrate this thing to see through Klingon codpieces, I mean breastplates.
LILY: Look, it's written Volvo just there...and the Dolph Lundgren's midget version is called Joachim.
The Savior of Humanity's Log: Lily has been seeing Swedish people in the sky ever since she started drinking again.
JOACHIM: I was thinking about that...the Phoenix had three places...Lily was supposed to be here but she was talking about Mobby Dick with Picard...who the hell was officially the third person?
SAAVIK: According to both Human and Vulcan historians, the doctor Cochrane's crewmates were a black person and an Ursus arctos middendorffi, also called Alaskan grizzly bear.
KHAN: Oh, and Kirk, where are the darn thermostats on this ship? We're nearly bare chested and it's still hot for our superior testicles! I fear any guy who has served on Defiant since you have these overheating uniforms is now sterile.
Khan: This, this is the scourge I was telling you about, Joachim.
Joachim: Justin Beiber?
Khan: No, the other scourge, Joachim.
Lily: Sneaker on a wire.
Zephram: BEAM ME UP DA VINCI!!!
Lily: Needs work.
B'etor: So...why do you El Aurian's listen so much?
Soran: Oh we just made that up to take focus off our love of ridiculous hats.
COCHRANE: Easy. That's the North star.
LILY: I'm pointing east.
COCHRANE: Look, how hard can it be to pilot a starship? You point the thing "up" and go. I'll be fine-once I find the ship.
Khan: "One moment, Admiral. Joachim is explaining this 'Two girls, one cup' phenomenon. We have to do something with the women after we trash your ship and execute all of the males."
Soran: "My goodness, LaForge, you've amassed quite a collection of eye boogers in here!"
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