TNG Caption This! 341: Continuing mission
- Thread starter LeadHead
- Start date
Picard: I'm sorry, Commander, but you lost the priviledge of being first in line when you didn't hold the door open for us. You have to go to the back of the line.
Riker: But...the doors open automatically!
Picard: I'm sorry, Will. But Counselor Troi and I can clearly see that you put shoe polish in your beard. And it's high time you stop using the Tribble ambassador as a hairpiece.
Picard: I'm sorry, Will. But Counselor Troi and I can clearly see that you put shoe polish in your beard. And it's high time you stop using the Tribble ambassador as a hairpiece.
Riker: Fine sir, if you believe I deserve to be humilated then having my head vaporized by a notorious Tribble-ophobic officer for a little strawberry jam stain on your precious copy of The Globe Illustrated Shakespeare, make it so!
Geordi: There, that was the last upgrade. It took me two years but I've tweaked every system and component by hand. Ship systems running at 98.6 percent efficiency, sir. She'll go warp 9.9 at your command. I can finally take an evening off.
Picard: I hear Starfleet has a new ship that starts at warp 9.975.
Geordi: Dammit!
Picard: Sorry Will. I tried that "Finest officer with whom I have ever served" shtick on Counselor Troi, but being an empath, she saw right through it.
Riker: Did you tell her I'm in a band?
Riker: So it turns out you can move your career pretty fast on a Klingon ship if you meet the right woman. *wink*
Picard was really good at playing chicken. Wesley in an environmental suit, not so much.
Picard: You'd look good in gold.
LaForge: Oh, no, captain, please don't. I've got too much potential to die as security guy just to prove the situation is serious!
- sorry, Tasha.
Yar: I'm sorry?
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Picard: Ugly bags of mostly water? Beverly, it's for you.
Beverly: Oh no he di'int!
Data: Oh, snap!
Picard: Ugly bags of mostly water? Beverly, it's for you.
Beverly: Oh no he di'int!
Data: Oh, snap!
Picard (sotto voce): "Geordi, I want you to verify something for me...discreetly. Would you casually glance around the bridge and tell me if you think Commander Riker is wearing a Wonderbra?"
Picard: Geordi, I used to be a helmsman like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.
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Thanks for the win, LeadHead! 
The Romulan ship unveiled its secret weapon: forcing 2 Girls 1 Cup onto the Enterprise main viewscreen.
Data: Thank you, Geordi. With this hair, I will be able to create a perfect clone. Then we will see if your inability to get a date is actually genetic, or caused by some other factor.
Riker: Captain, I've learned my lesson, and would really like to be transferred back to the Enterprise as first officer.
Picard (O/S): No, commander, I don't think you have. Now, please, do your duty.
Riker: (sigh) Fine. (Through gritted teeth) Welcome to the Starbase 24 drive-thru, may I take your order?
Picard: I have bad news, Geordi. Starfleet found wreckage of the Hera. All hands were lost.
LaForge: What?! My mother's dead?
Picard: Ha! April Fools!
LaForge: What the hell, captain! That's not funny!
Picard: Oh, come on, Geordi. Lighten up! Your mother's the captain of a ship not named Enterprise, Defiant or Voyager... what could possibly happen?
The Romulan ship unveiled its secret weapon: forcing 2 Girls 1 Cup onto the Enterprise main viewscreen.
Data: Thank you, Geordi. With this hair, I will be able to create a perfect clone. Then we will see if your inability to get a date is actually genetic, or caused by some other factor.
Riker: Captain, I've learned my lesson, and would really like to be transferred back to the Enterprise as first officer.
Picard (O/S): No, commander, I don't think you have. Now, please, do your duty.
Riker: (sigh) Fine. (Through gritted teeth) Welcome to the Starbase 24 drive-thru, may I take your order?
Picard: I have bad news, Geordi. Starfleet found wreckage of the Hera. All hands were lost.
LaForge: What?! My mother's dead?
Picard: Ha! April Fools!
LaForge: What the hell, captain! That's not funny!
Picard: Oh, come on, Geordi. Lighten up! Your mother's the captain of a ship not named Enterprise, Defiant or Voyager... what could possibly happen?
"Captain's Log: As the ship was only moments away from destruction, I instructed my bridge crew to grab whatever was most precious to them and head for the escape pods. Doctor Crusher's and Commander Data's choices were somewhat surprising."
Riker: Less stink, more nuts, sir.
"Captain's Log: As the ship was only moments away from destruction, I instructed my bridge crew to grab whatever was most precious to them and head for the escape pods. Doctor Crusher's and Commander Data's choices were somewhat surprising."
"However, I am most worried about how to tell Lt. Worf he cannot take the entire bridge with him, as he is obviously trying to do."
Sorry folks but I've been fighting a cold all week and I'm not the best judge of comedy in that state. Either tomorrow or Saturday will be the start of the next contest. In the meantime, I fully encourage and support "LeadHead is late" captions, there'll be a special award for it....
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