Who doesn't love being ignored by girls?

[Ethros]

Hey just looking for any drive by thoughts and opinions here. As its on my mind its a way to offload it.
I'll try to keep this relatively short. So I've been seeing this girl on and off for the past couple of months, it can be hard finding time as I've just started working nights and she has plenty of uni work to do now she's in her final year.

So I made time to see her for a few hours last Wednesday (13 Nov) and having not seen her for a while beforehand it was great, she was super nice, saying nice things like she wished I was back working days so she could see be a bit more etc. And invited be round the next Monday (what would be today) for movie marathons, and also to go out next Saturday (23 Nov) as she had the Sunday off work for a change. And then that night she also said I should come over that Friday (15 Nov) too.

So as I headed over this Friday just gone I'm thinking things are going well; I've got tonight and at least two other nights lined up. And it did go well, we had fun, I was more than welcome to stay over, we had fun most of the night, and trust me she enjoyed herself.

Saturday morning comes and she has to get up early for work, which I knew about beforehand so that's fine. She seems ok, just pretty tired and a bit hungover.
She goes to work, I go home to catch up on some sleep, texting her before my nap. I wake up- no reply. Later that night- no reply. We Snapchat each other a lot so I send her one- no reply. All Sunday- nothing. I snapped her again Sunday night (last night) kinda knowing she wouldn't come back, and I was right. All day today too- nothing.

Thus the night she invited me for tonight (Monday) obviously ain't happening (it's 9:45pm my time.)



Just kinda wondering what now? I really don't wanna keep texting or whatever, she's made it fairly clear she's not replying so I don't wanna seem desperate. And there's random activity on her facebook & twitter between her and her female housemates so it's not like something majors come up in her life etc.
Ha I know its not like 5 years have gone by; its 3 days, but we'd never go that long without something. And it's not like we had an argument or whatever, I thought we had a good night.
Maybe I should just leave it, but then it seems like its over and I've literally no idea why? (And I'm 99% sure not cheating either, really not that sort of person)

grr, annoying.

 

[Amaris]

Make sure there isn't a technical issue. If she seemed like she was really looking forward to spending time with you, and then you hear nothing for days, then it's quite possible there are a few technical issues getting in the way. Then again, she could just be really tired, and instead of being social, could be preparing for work or other obligations. I realize everything in this world is now instant on, constant connection, but it has only been 3 days. Relax.

 

[Ethros]

Well here's the thing, I saw on Saturday she put some vague status on her Twitter about making a descision and stickin to it. Ending it with 'see you later.'


Now really, I know that could apply to anything. Put my paranoid brain instantly assumes it's about me. And the more as time went on over the weekend the more I thought it was.
Made a decision not to speak to me anymore, or for a while at least? Ha that 'see ya later' almost reads as 'fuck off' to me.

But again, there was no argument, we'd both had a bit to drink that night so maybe I coulda said something off, I can't remember, but I don't think I did, and it can't have been that as we were 'having fun' right until her alarm went off at 7am when she had to get ready for work.


And you know I can be mature, if she doesn't wanna see me anymore that's her decision. But if so it has kinda come out of nowhere, and odd given how she being so nice and making plans for us only a couple days earlier.



Women. Strange creatures.

 

[Amaris]

Well here's the thing, I saw on Saturday she put some vague status on her Twitter- "Made a decision. Sticking with it. See ya later."

Now really, I know that could apply to anything. Put my paranoid brain instantly assumes it's about me. And the more as time went on over the weekend the more I thought it was.
Made a decision not to speak to me anymore, or for a while at least? Ha that 'see ya later' almost reads as 'fuck off' to me.

But again, there was no argument, we'd both had a bit to drink that night so maybe I coulda said something off, I can't remember, but I don't think I did, and it can't have been that as we were 'having fun' right until her alarm went off at 7am when she had to get ready for work.


And you know I can be mature, if she doesn't wanna see me anymore that's her decision. But if so it has kinda come out of nowhere, and odd given how she being so nice and making plans for us only a couple days earlier.



Women. Strange creatures.

Either way, I recommend not sweating it. Becoming obsessive over something vague that was said on Facebook is definitely not the way to go about it. If I were to make a recommendation, it would be to just wait until you see her again, or she contacts you. Give her a chance to assess her own thoughts, and then approach you. I understand the compulsion behind it, but try not to be clingy. That is a major turn-off for most people. Be polite, be kind, be patient. If it works out, it works out. If not, then you'll know, and you can take it from there.

 

[2takesfrakes]

If she's not up to snuff, there are billions of women in the world from which to select. I know this much about the woman I'll get with next:

Rich she shall be, that's certain;
Wise ... or I'll have none of her;
Virtuous! Or I'll never cheapen her;
Fair ... or I'll never look on her;

Mild ... or come not near me;

Of good discourse, an excellent musician,
and her hair shall be ... hmm ...
of what colour it please God.

 

[Amaris]

If she's not up to snuff, there are billions of women in the world from which to select. I know this much about the woman I'll get with next:

Rich she shall be, that's certain;
Wise ... or I'll have none of her;
Virtuous! Or I'll never cheapen her;
Fair ... or I'll never look on her;

Mild ... or come not near me;

Of good discourse, an excellent musician,
and her hair shall be ... hmm ...
of what colour it please God.

I think you're making much ado about nothing.

 

[2takesfrakes]

T'would seem so, sir!

 

[Melakon]

. . .I go home to catch up on some sleep, texting her before my nap. I wake up- no reply. Later that night- no reply. We Snapchat each other a lot so I send her one- no reply. All Sunday- nothing. I snapped her again Sunday night (last night) kinda knowing she wouldn't come back, and I was right. All day today too- nothing. . .

You didn't give her like, you know, a phone call to actually talk to her and make sure things were still on for tonight, rather than sending text messages and whatever a Snapchat is? Or stop by her place to make sure she was all right?

Maybe I'm just getting too old and don't understand how romance seems to have completely fallen off the back of the truck these days, but it seems rather impersonal not to physically talk to the person after sleeping with them.

I think J. Allen's wait and see approach is correct here.

 

[Ethros]

^ I would agree too, but this girl, and my last girlfriend too, is a few years younger than my age, and "the kids today" do seem to prefer texting etc than actually speaking to someone.

And after the no response-to-anything-all-weekend I didn't really feel like either texting or calling her today saying "hey so can I still come round tonight??" I thought it'd seem a bit desperate/clingy.

 

[JarodRussell]

Only advice you need: stop texting someone if they do not reply. Seriously. Doesn't matter if boy or girl. And it doesn't matter what subject this is about. If they were interested, they would find the time to reply. That's how it is.

You cannot talk/text/force someone into being interested.


And if someone is interested but wants to play some silly hard to get games with you... do I really need to spell it out what that means about them?


So just wait. You already sent some messages. That's absolutely enough. I take it she is not a goldfish. She is fully aware of you.

 

[Melakon]

Well, 21 or 22 is too young for me to consider anyway. She could theoretically be my granddaughter.

 

[JarodRussell]

And after the no response-to-anything-all-weekend I didn't really feel like either texting or calling her today saying "hey so can I still come round tonight??" I thought it'd seem a bit desperate/clingy.

Hm well, just forget about that desperate/clingy stuff. That is a purely relative term. If both people in a relationship are absolutely mad for each other, they text each other 60 messages per second. And when one of them gets tired of it, he/she suddenly thinks of the other one as clingy.

I had a relationship with a woman that panicked at the thought of having a date once a week. And gave me all kinds of excuses why she didn't have time for this and that, job and hobbies and all that, and I had to arrange my time around her schedule. And I probably came off as desperate and clingy. So eventually we broke up. Two weeks later, she had found her significant other and spent every minute with him from the start and arranged her job and hobbies around his schedule. Now she was the desperate and clingy one.


Moral of the tale. If you like someone, simply stand by it. But accept it when there is no reaction to your action.

And just don't get confused by three-day rules, the desperate/clingy myths, etc...

 

[auntiehill]

^ I would agree too, but this girl, and my last girlfriend too, is a few years younger than my age, and "the kids today" do seem to prefer texting etc than actually speaking to someone.

And after the no response-to-anything-all-weekend I didn't really feel like either texting or calling her today saying "hey so can I still come round tonight??" I thought it'd seem a bit desperate/clingy.

Oh for God's sake. A few days doesn't mean it's over. There are a dozen logical explanations as to why she didn't text you back. Just CALL her and ask.

 

[Kelthaz]

Women. Strange creatures.

No, you're the strange one here. She posts a harmless status update on Twitter about making a decision and you interpret that as saying "fuck off" and that she wants to break up with you.

Just calm down and relax. Give her some space and call her in a few days.

 

[Melakon]

^ This. Ethros and Kommander should share a few pointers with each other.

 

[Ethros]

Women. Strange creatures.

No, you're the strange one here. She posts a harmless status update on Twitter about making a decision and you interpret that as saying "fuck off" and that she wants to break up with you.

That comment I made about the fuck was more of a jokey one, but I understand where you're coming from.
And yes I get that all this doesn't mean "its over" but the not hearing from, especially on Snapchat (god she's addicted to that) is odd, so something's the matter with her thoughts of me is all I mean.

Just calm down and relax. Give her some space and call her in a few days.

But yeah, thanks, I plan to just wait till Wednesday or Thursday maybe (assuming I don't hear from her) and give her another call/text. And if I get nothing from that there's not a else I can do.

 

[JarodRussell]

Women. Strange creatures.

No, you're the strange one here. She posts a harmless status update on Twitter about making a decision and you interpret that as saying "fuck off" and that she wants to break up with you.

That comment I made about the fuck was more of a jokey one, but I understand where you're coming from.
And yes I get that all this doesn't mean "its over" but the not hearing from, especially on Snapchat (god she's addicted to that) is odd, so something's the matter with her thoughts of me is all I mean.

Just calm down and relax. Give her some space and call her in a few days.

But yeah, thanks, I plan to just wait till Wednesday or Thursday maybe (assuming I don't hear from her) and give her another call/text. And if I get nothing from that there's not a else I can do.

I'd wait longer than that.

 

[Ethros]

^ Yeah maybe, what's annoying is as I say I work nights so 5/7 nights we couldn't really be together. But this week starting now I'm off work all week, and when I told her this the other day she was pleased and why she said we should hang Monday/Sat etc.
But that's all kinda fucked up now if the one week we could properly be together she's not speaking to be (for no reason.) That's why its a bit annoying.

 

[JarodRussell]

Of course there is a reason, you just don't know it.

 

[Hound of UIster]

Women. Strange creatures.

No.

Humans. Strange creatures.

Yes. As this entire thread demonstrated clearly