Indubitably.
I SOOOOO wanted Red to tell Alex... "No soup for you!"
Hmmm, do you think Alex tried to offer Red something else to get back on her good side before Red settled on the 45 minute foot rub?
Kate Mulgrew - Orange is the New black
- Thread starter KaraBear
- Start date
Indubitably.
I SOOOOO wanted Red to tell Alex... "No soup for you!"
Hmmm, do you think Alex tried to offer Red something else to get back on her good side before Red settled on the 45 minute foot rub?
I would.
She collects daughters not wives.
Former Voyager Guest Star Lori "Tank Girl" Petty Played a hard ass called "Daddy" in the final season of prison Break ruling over a elite cabal of prison lesbians who publicly impersonated a 1950's nuclear family when they were not having orgies after lights out.
Former Voyager Guest Star Lori "Tank Girl" Petty Played a hard ass called "Daddy" in the final season of prison Break ruling over a elite cabal of prison lesbians who publicly impersonated a 1950's nuclear family when they were not having orgies after lights out.
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JRulez thanks for your great reviews, keep it up!
I was thinking how you have these fucked up people in prison who get fleshed out as real sympathetic characters you understand and it's great but all the people outside of prison are still cardboard self absorbed prats.
That silly friend pressuring Piper to make a call about her soap business from prison, my god just get your shit together and get someone to help you and build up your business so your supposed bestie has something to come home to. So how did she end up so silly? We don't get to see this because the story is dull like so many people who have had entitled lives.
The mother is PAINFUL PAINFUL PAINFUL I can't imagine being that person if my kid was in prison. I would devote my entire year to supporting them and listening to them and not saying any judgmental things to them. The mother seems too much of a caricature when I'm watching it but then I remember that if I was in prison my mother would 100% be making negative comments about my hair every visit. And suddenly it seems quite realistic
Larry is just way way way in over his head and he was long before Piper got arrested. She's erratic and he's easy to push around on her whims and he hasn't yet understood how unjelled her personality is. Because he is quite jelled, he's a lump of Jello.
We have lilly pilly flavoured jelly here, and sometimes jello, I bet that would make a great artisinal soap. Purple and tangy and perfumey. But Larry isn't that interesting.
Anyway.. the story of how these people got to be such self absorbed gits might not be very interesting. As to pornstache I think he was dropped on his head a few times as a baby. It IS interesting to see that he's not only a grade A abusive asshole he's also utterly fucked up in his own head. Not that it engenders any compassion.
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
Do you think Pornstache has already figured out that the newbie was fooling around with the Hispanic girl (Daya?) and that he was lured into the sex act TO GET CAUGHT? He's been teasing Bennett so much that I feel like he's yanking his chain on purpose. I don't see him falling in "love"... but I do fear him trying to take possession of the baby once its born.
So many of the people outside of prison ARE self absorbed prats... and not just the rich/well to do ones.
Tiffany was aborting her 5th baby because she didn't want to be jailed for endangering the fetus with her drug use, and didn't want to give up drugs. Unfortunately she did give up the idea of birth control.
Marcus/Sophia wanted that perfect female body, no matter what the cost to his integrity, his wife, his son. Gosh, do you realize he/she was stealing from people who had already been violated by the fires that destroyed their homes? How cruel is that?
Alex ran away from her poor life and her mother working 2 jobs to live an adventure. She played the international "playgirl" with her lover at her side until she made the fatal mistake ... she involved her lover in a crime. That wasn't bad enough... AFTER her lover completed the task, Alex explained what would have happened if Piper had failed.
She would have been killed.
Golly... I am so SHOCKED that Piper finally realized this wasn't a game and wanted to get out before someone killed her.
Not.
Just like I'm not shocked that Piper wouldn't go home with her drug cartel partner for the mother's funeral.
I don't know if you recall how TD Possum would scour the photos of Mulgrew for background detail. Well, I've started to do that with this show. In ep 4... Alex is lying on the library floor, reading a book called "The Glass Castle" by J Walls.
Wiki says this about the book.
Jeannette Walls is the author and the voice of The Glass Castle. The memoir is told from her point of view, beginning with her unconventional childhood and culminating in her adult success as an editor, journalist, and writer.
The narrative deals with the complex relationship Jeannette and her siblings had with their parents due to the extreme poverty that defined their chaotic childhoods, during which they frequently had no food, wore threadbare and unwashed clothes, were bullied and attacked by other children, and were repeatedly uprooted so that their parents could make a fresh start in another town.
All I could think of, was the different paths these two women's lives took, from similar circumstances. How must it feel, being in prison WITH your former lover whom you betrayed, while reading about the legitimate success of another poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks.
There but for the grace of God... (and Tiffany) go I?
So many people just muddle their way through life until something really good or really bad interferes and makes them take stock.
The problem with these people outside of prison (Larry, Piper's brother Calvin, her mother, her best friend... ) is that there's nothing MAKING them open their eyes to this opportunity to mature.
I get the feeling that Larry's Dad is the most realistic, and although irritating, his mother is 2nd in the reality contest. They KNOW their son, they know how flighty he is, not to mention how flighty Piper is too. Hell, they have been supporting Piper and Larry (along the Piper's folks' contribution). Proposing before prison? Like she's gonna get a lot of offers while in there? Selling her story on NPR while actively dodging her calls for a week... dodging her calls after she's gone through the SHU? Who does that? Talking like the conversation is between him and the correspondent only, like they don't have radios in prison? HELLO????
Maybe he'll catch a clue when the rent comes due and he can't pay it without the money from "Barneys".
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Pornstache has an IQ of 70.
Someone has to tell George how he is being manipulated using very small words, and then he will react stupidly, end up in Prison himself in his own spinoff where no matter what happens he's raped at the end of every episode by someone twice his size.
Just remember... Pornstache used to be the Sexy dangerous soldier Boy on Weeds... Oh and he played a sexy yoga instructor medium, his Zen was super sexy...
He was on the Wire?
How fucking old is this guy?
(35 apparently.)
Oh look, he was on the Black Donnelly's with Kate.
Small world?
Someone has to tell George how he is being manipulated using very small words, and then he will react stupidly, end up in Prison himself in his own spinoff where no matter what happens he's raped at the end of every episode by someone twice his size.
Just remember... Pornstache used to be the Sexy dangerous soldier Boy on Weeds... Oh and he played a sexy yoga instructor medium, his Zen was super sexy...
He was on the Wire?
How fucking old is this guy?
(35 apparently.)
Oh look, he was on the Black Donnelly's with Kate.
Small world?
Did you ever see breakout Kings? Good show. US Marshalls hunting prison escapees. 3rd episode of first season, and they're hunting Tea Bag from Prison break, how hard is it to get the rights for Tea Bag? He has a habit of getting "stuff" cut off... Do you have to have had a sex change, or is simple castration enough of box tick to allow one to be moved over to the woman's prison?
Although Theodore would never get placed in minimum security.
Although Theodore would never get placed in minimum security.
At least he wasn't a "Donnelly". It would have been weird two have TWO former "offspring" work with Kate on this series.
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
SPOILERS
Episode #4 "Imaginary Enemies"
AKA the first ep Denise at ew.com did NOT watch before she abandoned the show.
Her loss.
For those of you who binged this last week and don't remember which one this is... I have one word for you.
Screwdriver.
That covers only 10 % of the important stuff in this ep... but its a decent place holder.
In the previous ep, Piper was finally assigned a bed in the dorms, and of course this nice white suburbanite was placed "in the ghetto" which is local slang for "the black barracks". It was a telling moment because we discovered that "Red" isn't the only one around here with "power". Miss Claudette didn't like the attitude she was getting from her new black roomie, and not only had her moved, but had Piper replace her.
Piper's attitude may have been more to Miss Claudette's liking, but Piper brought a hell of a lot of drama with her, evidenced by Crazy Eyes peeing on their floor at 2 am to protest Piper's rejection of her romantic advances.
Episode 4 opens with a freaked out Piper kneeling on the floor, trying to quietly mop up the urine with maxi-pads while Miss Claudette quietly lowers the "boom" on the "poor little rich girl".
It was funny and distressing... but the intriguing thing wasn't Piper's predicament, it was the flashback to a young teen aged Claudette being introduced to an elevator for the first time (Its a magic box that flies) en-route to her first meeting with her new Haitian-American owner who will take care of her until Claudette works off her parent's debt. Oh, and speaking of romance, the one thing that shy uncertain Claudette seems to imprint upon, is the young Baptiste who drove her to her new life, especially after he promised he would not allow anyone to hurt her.
"My hero".
Its always amazing how much they can pack into these shows without commercials. TPTB get another 14 minutes of story telling per ep, and man did they use it this time to great advantage.
We meet Mercy who worked for Red in the kitchen, but who will soon be released to the big bad world. Red has already lined her up with a job, shitty though it may be, and her friends are dividing up the belongings she will not take with her to her new life. Two of the things she'll be leaving behind are her former lover... the short, overweight lesbian with the BUTCH tattoo on her right arm (Boo) and her current lover, the skinny blond emaciated girl (Tricia) with the throat tattoo. We learn there's quite a bit of Peyton Place going on in the prison, with Mercy taunting Boo, Boo taunting Tricia, Boo getting a previous lover stuck in prison an extra 2 years by arranging an ambush... oh... it was all so sordid the way Red described it.
And of course... since Red did describe it, we are on pins and needles waiting for the rumble to go down.
But wait we must, because Piper has finally been assigned a job. Where would you put a yuppie with no practical skills who was a "TA" in college?
Right... the electrical shop.
The fun thing is that's where Nikki works, and I really came to love Nikki in this episode. She was funny in the shop, she was funny on lunch break... she was helpful when she explained why Piper had to lay on the floor when an alarm went off... she was hilarious when she explained what the SHU (the place a fellow inmate went when the screw driver came up missing) was like. "Its like the Hamptons... only f-king horrible!"
As fun as she was... the love came in Nikki's dealings with the hard boiled Alex in this ep.
Alex tried to help out, decorating the common room for Mercy's going away party, but she wasn't sufficiently respectful and so was "disinvited" by Tricia. Alex showed up to use the microwave during the party and was dissed by Tricia and (?) Gloria. She can't go to her bunk, since her Bunkie is holding bible study and handing out boarding passes for the coming "Rapture" so she ends up in the prison library where Tastee is giving a great review of Ulysses ("All that rambling is bullshit") and there Nikki probes Alex's psyche. (Really... NOT a euphemism for sex this time.
)Nikki had a real bonding moment with Alex as she literally gave her fellow inmate a shoulder to cry on. It was so sweet.
Much sweeter than the bonding moment Piper and Miss Claudette had when there was a sweep through all the rooms to find the missing screwdriver. LOVED Miss Claudette's quick thinking/hiding place. LOVED her logic re: why Piper couldn't simply drop it in the yard for someone to find. "What if your peeing admirer finds it and stabs your tall girlfriend in the eye with it? Then you are an accessory to murder!"
Hey... when did everyone find out about Piper and Alex? Did a memo go out?
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Natasha Leon tricked the information out of Piper in the library, but she's no rat.
"She said you were a squirter"
"I never Squ -- Oh, there was that once, but that was comple --- "
"What? oh my god! I was shitting you! but it's true!?"
...
You don't have such hateful vibes about someone you've never met before.
"She said you were a squirter"
"I never Squ -- Oh, there was that once, but that was comple --- "
"What? oh my god! I was shitting you! but it's true!?"
...
You don't have such hateful vibes about someone you've never met before.
Oh is THAT who all those people were, god I was confused. So the young Claudette grows up to do her own trafficking of young girls into the cleaning industry?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chekhov's_gun
I forgot to mention that early in this ep, Mr Healey suggested people wanted to reopen Miss Claudette's case for an appeal/reduced sentence... but that Miss C declined. Tricia wants an appeal of her sentence so she can get out of jail and be with her girlfriend Mercy... but knows her attempt will fail without serious help. She turns to the smartest person she knows... fellow electrical shop worker and college graduate, Piper Chapman to help her out. Others find out and descend upon Chapman after she's hidden the screwdriver under her thin mattress, and insist she help them with their appeals too. "I may be a thief but I'm no embezzler... anyway that guy shot himself!"
Piper didn't notice the real potential bonding moment with Miss Claudette when late one night she asked her how to proceed with the appeal letter. Miss C's only comment was how dangerous, "hope" could be, and that perhaps she shouldn't help at all.
Then we find out what happened to the young teen aged Claudette. She grew up to become the Haitian American handler for the teen girls sent to America to work off various debts. We see that Baptiste is still in her life and that she still carries a torch for him... until he dashes all her hopes with one simple comment.
"Claudette, I got married."
Poor Claudette.
She had to be satisfied with being "mother" to her cadre of teen aged housekeepers.
Speaking of cleaning... the camp has been searched and the screw driver is still missing a second day... which means a surprise early morning inspection before Piper can get it back to the shop.
Crap.
As Pornstache looks with purpose THIS time through their cubical, Piper admits to Claudette the tool is still under her bed, which a) frightens and b) pisses off the old woman to new heights.
Strangely enough, Pornstache finds nothing and leaves them in peace.
Even stranger... Piper finds nothing when she searches, and is willing to chalk everything up to her short term memory loss.
NOT strange... Miss C is totally ticked at Piper lying to her about returning the tool the day before and tries to intimidate the young woman... but FINALLY the worm turns and fights back.
"Cut me a little SLACK! I've been here less than 2 weeks and I've been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift.
(She forgot to mention the "Honey Boo Boo", but I would have tried to forget that one myself!)
And now, YOU! I'm doing my best to learn the ropes...
...and I may be suffering from short term memory loss and I don't know why so can you PLEASE cut me some SLACK! Okay?"
I love Miss Claudette's little smile here, after Piper turns away. Her little girl is growing up.
"Okay"... its that word that brings us back to Miss Claudette's past where we discover that one of her newest teen workers has been horribly abused by someone who has hired their service.
Nikki has another great bonding moment, this time with Piper. Their conversation runs in tandem about Piper's relationship with Alex and with Miss Claudette. After guessing / teasing Piper about her 10 year old sexual history, Nikki reassures Piper that Alex is not spreading tales of their previous lives, and further reassures her that Miss Claudette will not "hurt" Piper in her sleep. Nikki explains Miss C is in prison due to "slave trade" not murder. "Unless you think she's going to harbor you illegally, I wouldn't sweat it."
Miss Claudette is mysterious for many reasons. She never goes to mail call because in 10 years she's never had a letter, until now. Baptiste has written.
Well, she's not so mysterious to us anymore. It seems Nikki was only half right. She was involved in the slave trade but she was also a convicted murderer. She killed the client who abused the child in her employ.
Miss C may be mysterious, but she is observant and notices Tricia sneak into Mercy's nearby cubical. Miss C is no-one's fool and confronts the misguided girl planting drugs on her lover to ruin Mercy's chance of release.
"Love?" rails Miss C, "It's not an excuse."
Back in th electrical shop, Piper sees the screwdriver back on the wall... after the civilian in charge of the shop buys another and replaces it / pretends to find it to deflect suspicion from his haphazard handling of the shop.
We see Boo has the screwdriver and is actively using it for a much safer self gratifying activity rather than plunging it into Mercy or Tricia's heart as we had feared ever since we saw Boo sit on Piper's bed and the tool disappeared from under the mattress.
Claudette has read her letter from the newly widowed Baptiste and decides to reopen her case... thereby forgetting her own advice to Piper just 1 day ago that hope can be dangerous.
As Mercy leaves the visitation room, all the inmates stand by to watch her walk away and the camera stays on Miss Claudette's stunned face before the screen goes "to orange".
I can't believe that "Denise" at ew.com couldn't hold out for this ep.
It even had Red acting all maternal over the Butch Boo, salting her corn on the cobb at the party. (NO... that ISN'T a euphemism for sex EITHER! Sheezz.)
I forgot to mention that early in this ep, Mr Healey suggested people wanted to reopen Miss Claudette's case for an appeal/reduced sentence... but that Miss C declined. Tricia wants an appeal of her sentence so she can get out of jail and be with her girlfriend Mercy... but knows her attempt will fail without serious help. She turns to the smartest person she knows... fellow electrical shop worker and college graduate, Piper Chapman to help her out. Others find out and descend upon Chapman after she's hidden the screwdriver under her thin mattress, and insist she help them with their appeals too. "I may be a thief but I'm no embezzler... anyway that guy shot himself!"
Piper didn't notice the real potential bonding moment with Miss Claudette when late one night she asked her how to proceed with the appeal letter. Miss C's only comment was how dangerous, "hope" could be, and that perhaps she shouldn't help at all.
Then we find out what happened to the young teen aged Claudette. She grew up to become the Haitian American handler for the teen girls sent to America to work off various debts. We see that Baptiste is still in her life and that she still carries a torch for him... until he dashes all her hopes with one simple comment.
"Claudette, I got married."
Poor Claudette.
She had to be satisfied with being "mother" to her cadre of teen aged housekeepers.
Speaking of cleaning... the camp has been searched and the screw driver is still missing a second day... which means a surprise early morning inspection before Piper can get it back to the shop.
Crap.
As Pornstache looks with purpose THIS time through their cubical, Piper admits to Claudette the tool is still under her bed, which a) frightens and b) pisses off the old woman to new heights.
Strangely enough, Pornstache finds nothing and leaves them in peace.
Even stranger... Piper finds nothing when she searches, and is willing to chalk everything up to her short term memory loss.
NOT strange... Miss C is totally ticked at Piper lying to her about returning the tool the day before and tries to intimidate the young woman... but FINALLY the worm turns and fights back.
"Cut me a little SLACK! I've been here less than 2 weeks and I've been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened, and called Taylor Swift.
(She forgot to mention the "Honey Boo Boo", but I would have tried to forget that one myself!)
And now, YOU! I'm doing my best to learn the ropes...
...and I may be suffering from short term memory loss and I don't know why so can you PLEASE cut me some SLACK! Okay?"
I love Miss Claudette's little smile here, after Piper turns away. Her little girl is growing up.
"Okay"... its that word that brings us back to Miss Claudette's past where we discover that one of her newest teen workers has been horribly abused by someone who has hired their service.
Nikki has another great bonding moment, this time with Piper. Their conversation runs in tandem about Piper's relationship with Alex and with Miss Claudette. After guessing / teasing Piper about her 10 year old sexual history, Nikki reassures Piper that Alex is not spreading tales of their previous lives, and further reassures her that Miss Claudette will not "hurt" Piper in her sleep. Nikki explains Miss C is in prison due to "slave trade" not murder. "Unless you think she's going to harbor you illegally, I wouldn't sweat it."
Miss Claudette is mysterious for many reasons. She never goes to mail call because in 10 years she's never had a letter, until now. Baptiste has written.
Well, she's not so mysterious to us anymore. It seems Nikki was only half right. She was involved in the slave trade but she was also a convicted murderer. She killed the client who abused the child in her employ.
Miss C may be mysterious, but she is observant and notices Tricia sneak into Mercy's nearby cubical. Miss C is no-one's fool and confronts the misguided girl planting drugs on her lover to ruin Mercy's chance of release.
"Love?" rails Miss C, "It's not an excuse."
Back in th electrical shop, Piper sees the screwdriver back on the wall... after the civilian in charge of the shop buys another and replaces it / pretends to find it to deflect suspicion from his haphazard handling of the shop.
We see Boo has the screwdriver and is actively using it for a much safer self gratifying activity rather than plunging it into Mercy or Tricia's heart as we had feared ever since we saw Boo sit on Piper's bed and the tool disappeared from under the mattress.
Claudette has read her letter from the newly widowed Baptiste and decides to reopen her case... thereby forgetting her own advice to Piper just 1 day ago that hope can be dangerous.
As Mercy leaves the visitation room, all the inmates stand by to watch her walk away and the camera stays on Miss Claudette's stunned face before the screen goes "to orange".
I can't believe that "Denise" at ew.com couldn't hold out for this ep.
It even had Red acting all maternal over the Butch Boo, salting her corn on the cobb at the party. (NO... that ISN'T a euphemism for sex EITHER!
Sheezz.)
I thought I misunderstood that. It seemed like little Claudette in the elevator... But then there's regular Claudette upstairs.
Time Travelling elevators, that sounds familiar.
Time Travelling elevators, that sounds familiar.
No, the lady upstairs was her handler, the only older Claudette we see is the one who looks like "our" Claudette with a wig. The one that meets Josephine.
Ya gotta love Nikki!
Yes.
She moved up to middle management, its the American dream
Originally I thought it was Claudette in the elevator, delivered upstairs to servitude. Then I started thinking the woman she was delivered to actually looked like Claudette so maybe it wasn't Claudette in the elevator but just showing us younger Claudette the boss from the perspective of a child. The clothes, speech, building etc.. did not give away the time for me as we had a couple countries involved. I had no idea that Baptiste was the same guy, was his name ever used by the young girl in the elevator?
The woman upstairs called him Baptiste, and upstairs the young man called the girl "Claudette".
Such obvious clues as to wtf was going on..
^^Its the problem with binging. I couldn't figure out why the girl in the tool shed couldn't figure out that Chapman had the screwdriver. "Get a tool, give a chit", right? She should have been fingered immediately, even without a name on the ledger but I had to rewind it twice tonight to see what happened. (I assumed it wasn't sloppy writing)
When Luschek grabbed the broken lamp and handed it to Piper... he ALSO handed her the screwdriver.... WITHOUT taking one of her chits!
That poor newbie that went to the SHU was completely innocent.
When Luschek grabbed the broken lamp and handed it to Piper... he ALSO handed her the screwdriver.... WITHOUT taking one of her chits!
That poor newbie that went to the SHU was completely innocent.
Can they really keep a person in the SHU for 9 months like Piper's mysterious whisperer said?
She went to the shu because she was abusively defensive. if she hadn't panicked about being railroaded, they wouldn't have known who to blame and they still didn't, and besides, if she was in the shu for taking the screw driver, then surely they would have let her out when it was "found".
Is Piper going to be an electrician when she gets out?
That's good money.
And some actual direction in pathetic broken (preprison) life.
What was she doing if anything before the mom and pop bathsalt company?
Jason Biggs was on Chelsea Lately last night.
He didn't "admit" that he was playing a scumbag when he talked about Orange is the New Black.
Maybe he doesn't know?
Is Piper going to be an electrician when she gets out?
That's good money.
And some actual direction in pathetic broken (preprison) life.
What was she doing if anything before the mom and pop bathsalt company?
Jason Biggs was on Chelsea Lately last night.
He didn't "admit" that he was playing a scumbag when he talked about Orange is the New Black.
Maybe he doesn't know?
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