Dating Tips

[Into Darkness]

What do you talk about on a first date?

More importantly, let's say you've been talking to someone via texts for a good six months and you've talked about every topic under the sun, what the heck do you talk about when you do finally meet face to face for the first time?

 

[Mr. B]

If you haven't at least been talking on the phone, you haven't had your first real conversation yet. Just pay attention to what she's saying and what's going on around you, and work from there.

 

[Into Darkness]

oh god i'm gonna die lol

 

[Melakon]

If she starts undressing, forget about dinner.

 

[Greylock Crescent]

If you've been texting for months, you should know at least something about her interests. Hopefully you share at least a few of them. After the pleasantries of finally seeing each other in person, start the conversation by asking about those interests, or having something to say about them. It's common ground, something you can feel comfortable and confident discussing - and be yourself about - then be open to having the conversation evolve from there.

 

[Amaris]

If you've been texting for months, you should know at least something about her interests. Hopefully you share at least a few of them. After the pleasantries of finally seeing each other in person, start the conversation by asking about those interests, or having something to say about them. It's common ground, something you can feel comfortable and confident discussing - and be yourself about - then be open to having the conversation evolve from there.

This. There is a whole world of difference between texting about things, and talking to one another in person.

 

[BillJ]

Show up at the date naked with a bow on your junk. You'll either end up in bed with her or in jail.

 

[Greylock Crescent]

Naked with a bow? Since when is D*ck in a Box too subtle? You kids these days ...

 

[Into Darkness]

If you've been texting for months, you should know at least something about her interests. Hopefully you share at least a few of them. After the pleasantries of finally seeing each other in person, start the conversation by asking about those interests, or having something to say about them. It's common ground, something you can feel comfortable and confident discussing - and be yourself about - then be open to having the conversation evolve from there.

That would be excellent advice if it wasn't for the fact we've talked about eachothers interestes, all of them, in great depth and detail. This is why I'm starting to think that for any relationship to actually work you're better off meeting face to face immediately rather than putting it off cos when you do finally meet face to face all avenues of conversation are exhausted and it makes meeting extremely awkward.

Oh well.

 

[Pingfah]

It's hopeless, and doomed to failure. Just don't turn up.

 

[Relayer1]

Even if it works out, you'll only make each other miserable for the rest of your lives...

 

[Robert Maxwell]

If you've been texting for months, you should know at least something about her interests. Hopefully you share at least a few of them. After the pleasantries of finally seeing each other in person, start the conversation by asking about those interests, or having something to say about them. It's common ground, something you can feel comfortable and confident discussing - and be yourself about - then be open to having the conversation evolve from there.

That would be excellent advice if it wasn't for the fact we've talked about eachothers interestes, all of them, in great depth and detail. This is why I'm starting to think that for any relationship to actually work you're better off meeting face to face immediately rather than putting it off cos when you do finally meet face to face all avenues of conversation are exhausted and it makes meeting extremely awkward.

Oh well.

So, talk about what's been going on in your lives lately. Talk about your plans for the future. Ask about their goals, talk about your own. When you meet, do something engaging that you can both talk about.

Let me also point out what may be some unconventional wisdom: you don't have to talk about anything. You will be in each other's presence for the first time. It's okay if you don't have much to say. You can say a lot more with body language. I'd see it differently if you had just met and didn't know each other very well yet, but at this point I'd just say to enjoy being around each other and not worry about making great conversation. If you do think of something to talk about, talk about it. Or just listen.

 

[Infern0]

I used to be good at this, before.... her

not been the same since that relationship though.

But anyway just be you

 

[Into Darkness]

Let me also point out what may be some unconventional wisdom: you don't have to talk about anything. You will be in each other's presence for the first time. It's okay if you don't have much to say. You can say a lot more with body language. I'd see it differently if you had just met and didn't know each other very well yet, but at this point I'd just say to enjoy being around each other and not worry about making great conversation. If you do think of something to talk about, talk about it. Or just listen.

That's good advice. For me I'd be happy to not worry about conversation, we're pretty close already with talking so much about everything, the meeting is a formality in a sense (it's the hurdle that's stopped us from committing to becoming an item), I'd be happy just being physically close with her, enjoy being in the same place as her but she may not think the same way, she may think the lack of major conversation is a problem when it shouldn't be. but I'm just worried she'll be too nervous to open up to me on the first meeting.
I guess all I can do is be myself and see how it goes. If it doesn't work out then it's a lesson learnt to never leave it too long to meet someone.

 

[_C_]

Be yourself, and don't stare at her chest.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Unless she takes her top off. Then it should be okay.

Ask before touching, though.

 

[Relayer1]

Be yourself, and don't stare at her chest.

Or, if all else fails, stare at her chest and pretend to be someone else !

 

[Greylock Crescent]

If you've been texting for months, you should know at least something about her interests. Hopefully you share at least a few of them. After the pleasantries of finally seeing each other in person, start the conversation by asking about those interests, or having something to say about them. It's common ground, something you can feel comfortable and confident discussing - and be yourself about - then be open to having the conversation evolve from there.

That would be excellent advice if it wasn't for the fact we've talked about eachothers interestes, all of them, in great depth and detail. This is why I'm starting to think that for any relationship to actually work you're better off meeting face to face immediately rather than putting it off cos when you do finally meet face to face all avenues of conversation are exhausted and it makes meeting extremely awkward.

Oh well.

I'm not sure what you're playing at. A topic discussed via text is very different than a topic discussed in person. The fact that you've been texting, that you've gotten to know her so well, puts you at an advantage in your first personal meeting. You already know what she likes. What she's interested in. Start with what you know, be yourself, and let things evolve naturally.

As far as I can tell, the issue isn't that you've been texting, it's a defeatist attitude. Stop for a moment and realize you have a HUGE advantage over most people on a first date - you *know* her - or, at least, you know quite a bit about her. Start from what you know. Even if it's familiar ground, the fact that it's in person makes it new, fresh, and meaningful.

Don't set yourself up to fail.

 

[TorontoTrekker]

My advice would be: don't overthink it. Let conversation flow naturally - from the sounds of it, you've hit it off quite well. I doubt that you'll be at a loss for topics to discuss.

 

[bigdaddy]

oh god i'm gonna die lol

That's something you have in common with her!!!

Talk about that!

Comes natural, if it doesn't end the date.