DS9 Caption Contest #67: The End of an Era

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, before I get to the winners, I have an announcement to make.

This is going to be my final time running this Caption Contest. Now, before you ask, No, this contest isn't ending. Ln X will be picking up the baton and taking this contest over.

Nearly 4 years ago now, I wanted very much to get more involved with the Caption Contests here on the TrekBBS and saw that there was a series very near and dear to me that had no Caption Contest and hadn't for quite some time. I started one, not knowing if anyone would pay much attention to it or even post, although I grant you that I had high hopes.

What happened? You, the members of the TrekBBS came out in strong support, taking the contest from being an experiment to a normal and expected part of the TrekBBS. Before I go any further, I want to say Thank You for that. I have been humbled and honored for the last 4 years by the continued humor, good wishes and participation by those who post in this contest.

As time has gone on, the demands on my time have gotten greater, making it tougher to maintain a set schedule for starting and ending contests. For me, there's not a lot of ways to cut down the time required, because it would mean not giving the judging and photo selection the proper amount of thought and time it needs and I simply won't do that.

A generous offer was extended to me by Ln X, and after thinking about it over the last couple of weeks, I decided to accept. It's tough for me, as the DS9 contest was the first contest I ever ran on this forum, and now I'm handing it off to another. It's also a little weird because I'll be leaving the one contest I run that I started from day one, I inherited TNG and Movies I-X.

It's good for the caption contests to be in the hands of multiple people and between the DS9, TNG and Movies I-X contests, I've had a bit of a monopoly on them. Change is good and can make it so that there's more room for different views and different types of humor to get their time and wins.

Now, before you start to wonder as I'm sure you are, Is this the Beginning of the end for LeadHead? I say, no way. I've been a member of the TrekBBS for 12 years now, I'm here to stay. In fact, I think very strongly that giving this contest to a new person will give it some new energy and make it easier for me to stay consistent on my other contests.

So, here's how the switch will take place, I've judged the winners of the last contest and selected the next photos. After that, it'll be Ln X's contest.



Lets start off with the Winners, Shall we?

First up to the plate, we have the "Foolish Wager" Award, going to:

DUKAT: Weyoun, don't bet the station on the next spin, it's a trick...
WEYOUN: Quiet! I'm on a winning streak!
DUKAT: *sigh* Your orders, Commander Quark?

Next, we have the "Minor Mix-up" Award, going to:

Bashir: "Sorry about the mix-up Quark. I'll exchange this chocolate milk with the orphanage that got your shipment of Klingon Whiskey. I only pray I can make it to Bajor before lunchtime."

Next, we have the "So much for that Cover ID" Award, going to:

SISKO: Our name is "Sisko", Dad. Not "Cartwright".

JOSEPH: Tired of living a lie, son!!!!

GOLDSHIRT: Gonna have to arrest him, sir.

Next, we have the "Threesome Denied" Award, going to:

Kira: I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
Dax: I just wanted to see how obsessed with this tablet he was.
Kira: You're right, but don't you think offering him a threesome is going too far? What if he said yes?
Dax: That would be fun.
Sisko: Shhh... I'm trying to figure this out.

Next, we have the "Crowded Room" Award, going to:

Wrong room. Sorry, Constable. Major. Commander. Doctor. Chief. Cadet. And -

Scruffy!

Scruffy.

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

DAX: What Sisko looking at?

KIRA: It's painting by Data, he got it as a Christmas present.

DAX: Christmas was days ago.

KIRA: Yeah, he's been trying to figure out what it is, ever since.

And for the final time...

Bashir: "Quark! When I bought these "exotic liquors" from you, I paid good money. And just as I was going to try one, what do I find? One of my own medical labels fixed to the bottles. This is my missing supply of laxatives!"

Quark: "No refunds!"

Okay, Now the pictures.

Computer Transfer Command Codes to Fleet Captain Ln X, Authorization Code: ROTFLAMO!


The Ship is yours, Ln X. Be good to her!


All right, people. Let's Caption!

 

[LeadHead]

Ezri: Why have we NEVER used this door before now?!

Worf: It's just been revoked.

Garak: Uh, Regent. He really didn't set you up for that line.

Worf: Worf to Sisko. We beat up Bashir.

Sisko: (over comm) Good work. Now beam him to the Infirmary so he can treat his own injuries.

Worf: Look, I'm sorry I beat up Doctor Bashir, it was the Captain's order!

O'Brien: Is the couple upstairs....?

Dax: Bigtime!

 

[Nerys Myk]

EZRI: Leadhead is leaving? Sorry, I don't like it. Replacements never work out.

WORF: That's how we roll on Gault, bitches.

KIRA: Augment my ass. I thought he said he could hold his liquor.

WORF: Stop blowing in my ear, Garak!

DAX: A hole in the roof is a bad thing, right?

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win LeadHead! I'm honored to be one of your last wins! I've really enjoyed these contests of yours for awhile now, they're good fun!

Sisko: This is my pimp hand. If you don't stop whining about space sickness, your head really will be spinning.

Worf: Find me a new anger management therapist!

Kira: He's faking it.
Worf: How can you tell?
Kira: Give him mouth to mouth Commander, that's an order.
Worf: (why does this always happen to me?)
Bashir: I'm better, ack! Stay away!

Garak: I'm looking forward to this trip Mr Worf. Both of us being exiles from our respective homeworlds, I'm thinking that we have SO much on common.
Worf: Kill me now.
Garak: Haven't lost the touch.

O'brien: What the hell is that stain on the ceiling?
Dax: I don't know. Who had the runabout last?
O'brien: You and Worf....
Dax: Uh... it's not what it looks like!

 

[Antni]

Sisko: I'm sorry ma'am we've taken away your quarters you haven't been keeping up with your payments.
Ezri: but noo..

Martok: it's called Klingon planking.

Worf: Worf to Odo, we've caught another one urinating on the promenade on his way home from the bar. Prepare another cell.
Kira: you think it's clever what you've just done?
Bashir: ..but the plant needed watering officer *hic*

Garak: have you had an injury that wasn't you're fault?

THUD!
Dax: we best call Garak back sounds like worf's just had an injury.

 

[Tosk]

Garak: "I can't see your ears."
Worf: "No one ever has."

Miles: "What in blazes are those two doing?"
Jadzia: "Huh? Oh, that. Trust me, you don't want to know." [Whispers] "Worf has a weird thing about his ears."

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for running these Leadhead, I now dedicate these captions in your honor. Qapla'!

Ezri: Leadhead is resigning? This is a disaster, this is a catastrophe, a...a...

Sisko: Another Ezri overreaction?

Ezri: Sometimes, I think I'm the only one around here who cares about these things!

Worf: Oh, crap, I killed Leadhead! Ln X, if you help me dispose of the body, I'll back you for taking over the caption threads!

That's not Bashir, that's Leadhead after managing all of these caption contests!

Garak: I hope Ln X appreciates my sense of humor, it may not be as "out there" as say, Quark's, but I am not afraid to admit I've been compared to the Human comic Carlin.

Worf: George Carlin?

Garak: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. Max Carlin, the existentialist comic...

O'Brien: Was that last caption funny? I can't tell from this angle!

Dax: It looks, funny-ish, I guess. Where's Leadhead when you need him to judge these things?


Good luck, Ln X!

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for all your work, Leadhead! Place won't be the same without you! I think I can speak for others when I say hope you still cap! Thanks again for all your great screencaps and hours and hours of entertainments.

TFTW too!

Good luck in your RL adventures. As the Bajorans say, "A legend never dies!"

Sisko: Leadhead is just giving up this contest. He will still be running the other contests.

Ezri: So - he isn't being carted off by the authorities?

Sisko: No, that's still happening.

Let this be your last battlefield!
<Boo! Derivative!>
Assimilate this!
<Heard it!>
Enough dialogue! Now work on your back story!
<applause>

Kira: And then he said the attackers jumped him and rubbed against his leg.
Worf: Quiet! Do you hear that? Sounds like...mewling!
Kira: Garak's cat?
Worf: I have you now, Legate Yum Yum!

Thank you for your efforts at returning my cat, Worf.
It is all in a day's work.
Still - did you have to set your phaser to fricassee?

O'Brien: What is that on the ceiling?

Dax: We think it's a combination of the Sistine Chapel mural "Creation Of Adam" with the Ghost Rider.

O'Brien: Is that the one with the flaming motorcycle and the leather jacket that says "Leadhead?"

Dax: The Prophets work in mysterious ways, Chief.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Sisko "By the way, old man. I have a question about Klingons only you can answer."
Ezri "This big!"

Martok realizes Worf has no sense of humor about his wife's age.

GARAK: Sisko just got back from the alternate universe again.
WORF: He'll be looking at us funny for days.
GARAK: Will you warn Major Kira or should I?

O'BRIEN: Is that what I think it is?
DAX: An advertisement for Quark's, on the bottom of the station.
O'BRIEN: Screw it. Let's leave it there.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the new runabout

And thank you for handling the caption contest for so long, LeadHead. It's been great.

 

[Finn]

Ezri: I can't believe Leadhead won't be doing the DS9 Caption contests anymore

Sisko: Don't worry, Ln X will be taking over!

Ezri: *sob!* Thanks for reminding me! I still miss Yeoman Rand from the Voyager Caption Contests!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Sisko: "Get that identity crisis shit outta my office. This is a swagger-only zone."

Martok: "Ugh, I can't believe I showered for this."

[He dies]

Worf: "Action-packed my ass. I'm going back to the Enterprise."

Garak: "Let's not get drive-through. It's ever so banal."

Jadzia: "Uh, chief. What's that flashing light?"

O'Brien: "Oh, that's the problem light. It flashes when there's a problem."

Jadzia: "Right. So what's the problem?"

O'Brien: "The problem is there's a problem. That's why the bloody problem light's on! Weren't you paying attention?"

 

[Mistral]

Ezri: "Look, Benjamin, Jadzia might have liked the irony but I am just SICK of that 'Old Man' crap, ok?!?"

 

[Triskelion]

Ezri: Let me see if I've got this straight. Admiral Cartwright is not Lorne Greene?
Sisko: No. Lorne Greene played an Admiral and a character named Cartwright on a different series.
Ezri: And your father...?
Sisko: Is played by the actor who also played Admiral Cartwright; but he is not Admiral Cartwright.
Ezri: But you just said he is Admiral Cartwright.
Sisko: He was, yes. But now he is my father.
Ezri: And who are the Cylons again? Shapeshifters?
Sisko: Cylons are space robots that attacked the other Admiral played by Lorne Greene, who also played a cowboy named Cartwright and a different space admiral named Adama, once played by Cartwright, I mean Greene, and someone named Almos. Like Shapeshifters, Cylons take on our appearance for deception and intrigue.
Ezri: But is Almos human?
Sisko: They are almost human, yes.
Ezri: Like your father, Admiral Cartwright?
Sisko: My father, yes. Admiral Cartwright, yes, but not any more.
Ezri: And you don't find these similiarities confusing?
Sisko: No, Ivanova, why do you ask?

Worf: Well, well, well - look what the targ dragged in. Are you dead or just hungover?

Martok: Even in Stovokor, you have Feklar breath.

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Ezri: Ooo, that Dukat makes me so mad! Like flames, flames on the side of my face...

Garak: Lower.

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, thanks for running this contest--we'll miss you here! But ends are also sometimes beginnings--welcome LnX!

Sisko (as he calls the station rescue squad): "What happened to you?"

Ezri: "I made the mistake of watching a 'My Mother, the Car' marathon."

Martok (as he summons his last ounce of strength to call the station rescue squad): "What happened to me?"

Worf: "You picked the wrong day to have lunch at Quark's. The plomeek was bad."

Kira (as she calls the station rescue squad): "What happened to him?"

Worf: "He is without honor--he drank all that beer he had in last week's contest!"

Garak (as he calls the station rescue squad): "What happened to you?"

Worf: "The Miss Qo'noS contest called. They want their sash back."

O'Brien: "What's going on up there?"

Jadzia: "Well, the rescue siren has gone off four times in the last minute. I'm not exactly sure, but it must be something serious."

 

[Ln X]

Thanks LeadHead for handing the keys to me! The next caption contest will occur this Monday...

 

[The Mole]

Sisko: What's the matter old man?
Dax: I've just walked in on Julian in the shower. His penis is this big!!
Sisko: Really? I thought it was only his Inteligence that was enhanced

Worf: (farts)
Mortok: What in the.... (collapses)
Worf: Whoops

Garrak: Now that we are alone Worf, I have to tell you something that I've never told anyone before. I love you

Worf: Get your hand off my ass before I break it and lets never talk of this again!!!

Terry: What is that? It looks like a furry dildo
Colm: It's called a boom mic, now can we please get on with the scene?

 

[NX-01]

Sisko - What's wrong Old Man?
Dax - I have to leave, i have fallen in love with Quark. His penis is this long and I can't get enough of him!!!
Sisko - That is possitively disturbing!!!

Worf - I guess I win again. Some people can't handle their bloodwine.

Bashir - I am hit, I am dying... cough.... go on without me.

Kira - Erm doctor, this is just a security drill. We aren't using live weapons.

Garak - Now Mr Worf, it is natural to be nevous your first time but I will be gentle, I promise.

Worf - Oh Garak do you promise you'll still love me after?

Garak - Of course I will me darling.

O'Brien - What in the hell is that growling?

Dax - Didn't Worf and Garak go upstairs a little while ago?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Dax: How am I suppose to practice psychology when I'm this mixed up, Benjamin?
Sisko: I thought you were a psychiatrist.
Dax: See?!

Worf: If you were any other man, I would --
Martok: "Kill me where I stand", Worf?
Worf: *growl*

Worf: It is a gorch.
Garak: I'll say it is. Have I welcomed you back from the Briar Patch, yet?