Good Husband or Emasculated Wuss?

[Scout101]

So, I think this thread has established that the OP has some kind of deep-seated discomfort with his own masculinity, while everyone else (including me) thinks there is no big deal here.

Carry on.

That's certainly where the thread ended up, once the hivemind finished piling on. Not sure the OP established that, but the thread certainly did...

 

[Robert Maxwell]

So, I think this thread has established that the OP has some kind of deep-seated discomfort with his own masculinity, while everyone else (including me) thinks there is no big deal here.

Carry on.

That's certainly where the thread ended up, once the hivemind finished piling on. Not sure the OP established that, but the thread certainly did...

Is there something wrong with the "hivemind's" conclusion here? Given that FC apparently started this thread to mock someone he doesn't even know for not adhering to his narrow and compulsive views of masculinity, he got off lightly.

 

[Ryan8bit]

Perhaps the bag is too small, but I do believe my wife and I had a fancier diaper bag that looked like a purse. I didn't really have any problems carrying any of those bags on my shoulder because they were heavy, and usually I had to do so to carry a baby.

My wife also has a hot pink phone. I've used it several times in public to play games, mostly because I don't give a fuck.

I wouldn't personally pick these things out for my own possessions, but helping out or borrowing something doesn't make one feminine or "whipped."

 

[sidious618]

So, I think this thread has established that the OP has some kind of deep-seated discomfort with his own masculinity, while everyone else (including me) thinks there is no big deal here.

Carry on.

That's certainly where the thread ended up, once the hivemind finished piling on. Not sure the OP established that, but the thread certainly did...

The OP definitely established that with his posts in this thread which were gender constructed nonsense.

 

[Count Zero]

Plus: I'm horrified of what I might find in there

Double plus: you won't find whatever it is you're supposed to be looking for anyway.

Sometimes that would just make me on par with the owner

You might find old sweet drops lying loosely about at the bottom of the bag, though. And tons of pennies.

As for the pic in the OP, I don't get why this is even noteworthy at all. So, a guy is using his wife's phone and carrying her bag. Life must be pretty boring there if people notice that and it becomes the topic of conversation in such a way that someone feels the need to post it on facebook (and here).
On a more general note, if one feels one's masculinty is diminished by carrying a hand bag or a pink diamond phone it seems to me there probably wasn't much of it around in the first place. Personally, I'd be somewhat impressed by a man owning a pink diamond encrusted phone. It means he's secure about himself and possibly has a subversive streak. I like that.

 

[auntiehill]

My husband's boss has long hair, wears a kilt on a regular basis and paints his nails. He could also kick your ass in a fight and has a large collection of weapons---at least one of which was used to fight off and subdue a home invader who tried to assault his wife. Would you call him a wuss? My husband has pink polo shirt that he likes to wear; does that make him feminine, even though he was an MP and a sharpshooter?

What I find most puzzling is that anyone would spend so much time and energy worrying about what someone you don't even know is carrying or taking pictures with. Frankly, who gives a fuck??

If anyone is that obsessed with someone else's masculinity, it's probably due to projecting their own identity problems on someone else.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

My husband's boss has long hair, wears a kilt on a regular basis and paints his nails. He could also kick your ass in a fight and has a large collection of weapons---at least one of which was used to fight off and subdue a home invader who tried to assault his wife. Would you call him a wuss? My husband has pink polo shirt that he likes to wear; does that make him feminine, even though he was an MP and a sharpshooter?

Although I get the spirit behind what you are saying, you are also engaging in the same normative behavior the OP alluded to. Why does it matter if a man can kick someone's ass in a fight, or hold a gun? Does this imply a man who can't is "less of a man"? The way you phrased it, it almost sounds like a man who wears pink or paints his nails is obligated to compensate for it in other ways to prove his manliness--which, I think, is the kind of attitude the OP was promoting, and which I find detestable.

I doubt you meant it in the way it came across, I just wanted to explain how it sounds to me.

 

[thestrangequark]

This thread is so full of nonsense that it is mindboggling. It's a bag, for christ's sake.

 

[Finn]

Indeed

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Thank you, TSQ!

 

[Robert Maxwell]

This thread is so full of nonsense that it is mindboggling. It's a bag, for christ's sake.

But it's not just a bag! It's a bag and a PINK PHONE!

 

[Kemaiku]

Apparently it was pink and covered in jewels.

Well, guess my iPod's glittery purple honeycomb/jewel patterned case is a problem now. Oh no, wait, no one has had a problem with it since I bought it quite a long while ago, odd that.

 

[TheSeeker]

Am I the only one who thought of this?

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYx2JXtptLE[/yt]

 

[FPAlpha]

For my friend, it was the way in which he not only held it but actually wore it. That, and the taking of the pictures with the incredibly feminine phone.

He's holding her purse. He can't leave it on the ground, it can be stolen. Holding it on his shoulder keeps his hands free, in this case, to take pictures.

Why is the phone feminine?

It's also kind of odd, if I may say so, that the women seem to be insulting the man by comparing him to, well, women. In a sort of "Ha! Look at this guy! He looks as weak and pathetic as we do!" kind of way.

It's the age old contradiction.. women always claim they want a guy like that in the picture. Considerate, helpful etc. but when they actually encounter such a guy they mock it as being whipped/not man enough, i.e. in public they'd rather have the bad boy with them so they can boast while in public and in private complain to their friends how he's so inconsiderate.

As a guy you can never be just right with every group... personally i think he's a good husband but could be a bit more aware of his manliness in public (i'd have kept the purse on the ground between my feet and otherwise carried it in my hand.. the phone though.. well, tough it up by using a womanized phone).

 

[Thestral]

My husband's boss has long hair, wears a kilt on a regular basis and paints his nails. He could also kick your ass in a fight and has a large collection of weapons---at least one of which was used to fight off and subdue a home invader who tried to assault his wife. Would you call him a wuss? My husband has pink polo shirt that he likes to wear; does that make him feminine, even though he was an MP and a sharpshooter?

Although I get the spirit behind what you are saying, you are also engaging in the same normative behavior the OP alluded to. Why does it matter if a man can kick someone's ass in a fight, or hold a gun? Does this imply a man who can't is "less of a man"? The way you phrased it, it almost sounds like a man who wears pink or paints his nails is obligated to compensate for it in other ways to prove his manliness--which, I think, is the kind of attitude the OP was promoting, and which I find detestable.

I doubt you meant it in the way it came across, I just wanted to explain how it sounds to me.

I took it as addressing him on his own terms - using his own biases which would make the examples she gave contradictory to prove your point in a different way.

 

[Kegg]

I don't see what the problem is.

+1.

Yup. Honestly depressed me a bit to see this thread in the TrekBBS, although the comments were a bit refreshing.

I mean ... blue balloons for boys, pink balloons for girls, regular phones versus diamond incrusted phones... is there possibly anything more ridiculous or frivolous to get hung up on then this entirely arbitrary set of coded gender roles and whether or not complete strangers play the same game of randomly combined assumptions?

Mostly I suppose I don't understand why it's okay to take a picture of a stranger and ridicule it online, in the case of the woman who originally posted it on facebook.

Yeah I'm not really comfortable with that end of the new internet at all. Mocking and/or leering at total strangers photographed without their knowledge it's all a trifle bit unseemly to me.

 

[Rhaven]

This thread is so full of nonsense that it is mindboggling. It's a bag, for christ's sake.

Exactly!

 

[Roger Wilco]

Am I the only one who thought of this?

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYx2JXtptLE[/yt]

The funny thing about the spot is, that what this guy did is actually almost the definition of "compromise".

 

[Tora Ziyal]

It's the age old contradiction.. women always claim they want a guy like that in the picture. Considerate, helpful etc. but when they actually encounter such a guy they mock it as being whipped/not man enough, i.e. in public they'd rather have the bad boy with them so they can boast while in public and in private complain to their friends how he's so inconsiderate.

No, women don't "always" do that. Some women do it.

As a guy you can never be just right with every group... personally i think he's a good husband but could be a bit more aware of his manliness in public (i'd have kept the purse on the ground between my feet and otherwise carried it in my hand.. the phone though.. well, tough it up by using a womanized phone).

Exactly why should he be "a bit more aware of his manliness in public"? Seriously.

And, btw, before you put a woman's purse on the floor, you'd better make sure that's okay with her. Floors are dirty.

 

[Jim Steele]

"I wonder what TBBS thinks?"

"This is terribly judgemental and I don't know why anyone cares", if it has any sense.