Riker: Wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which one fills up first.
TNG Caption This! 275: Quality Time
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Riker: Wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which one fills up first.
Grats on your 100th contest. I haven't been around too long, but I've enjoyed them! Thanks for the belly laugh win too!
Riker couldn't resist telling a fart joke when Picard launched a photon torpedo with his butt.
Data: Is the drinking contest over?
Gates McFadden didn't realize she picked up a Voyager script that called for the Doctor to phaser the patient.
O'Brien: As requested, sir. The new female officer dress code.
Picard: Well done, Mr O'brien!
Like the horse who starves because it can't chose between two water troughs, put Riker between two women and make him chose between them, he'll never get laid again.
Riker couldn't resist telling a fart joke when Picard launched a photon torpedo with his butt.
Data: Is the drinking contest over?
Gates McFadden didn't realize she picked up a Voyager script that called for the Doctor to phaser the patient.
O'Brien: As requested, sir. The new female officer dress code.
Picard: Well done, Mr O'brien!
Like the horse who starves because it can't chose between two water troughs, put Riker between two women and make him chose between them, he'll never get laid again.
Geordi: Maybe it's my visor but you are smoking hot Doctor!
O'Brien: As requested, sir. The latest caption contest from crewman LeadHead.
Picard: Dear Gods, how does that man keep going? I may just promote that man because he's done more for morale than that Betazoid hag has ever done!
Riker: Would you believe me if I said I was a virgin?
RIKER: Sir, you just butt dialed Admiral Nechayev.
DATA: We should arrive at Beta Triangula in 26.5 hours.
RIKER: Eh, just wake me when we get there.
O'BRIEN: New uniform regulations, sir. The skant is out.
PICARD: Thank god, I was getting tire of looking a Troi's knobby knees.
She's right behind me, isn't she?
Crusher: "Deanna?! Tasha?! Wesley?!"
LaForge: "Oh, I have got to get a snapshot of this!" *clicks VISOR*
O'Brien: As requested, sir. The latest caption contest from crewman LeadHead.
Picard: Dear Gods, how does that man keep going? I may just promote that man because he's done more for morale than that Betazoid hag has ever done!
O'brien: But he doesn't look as good in skimpy outfits.
Riker: Someone take a picture. Everyone else is leaning & I'm not!
Not one single permanent rank promotion... Assholes
Laforge: Hey Doc, You sure you want to land a shot down there? After all, you're the one who'll have to doctor the area
O'Brien: Please step closer, Sir. Neither of us are stretching our arms out any farther in these torture suits, & could you stop calling red alert. The running is going to asphyxiate ones of us
No matter how far back I lean, I can still see that awful distorted reflection of my goofy head in the table. It looks like a Kroft puppet version of me
RIKER: Relax, doc. I can eat like this all day and never gain an ounce. It's my metabolism.
That's brilliant.
RIKER: Relax, doc. I can eat like this all day and never gain an ounce. It's my metabolism.
That's brilliant.
Agreed, pure awesome.
DATA: Commander....Commander...
PICARD: No use Data he's fast asleep.
DATA: Sir, I believe in situations like this it is required for one of us to draw a mustache upon him
PICARD: He already has one...but we could shave off one of his eyebrows...and half his beard maybe
CRUSHER: Stop or I'll shoot!
GEORDIE: Err, thats the tv remote...
PICARD: What's the matter O'Brien, you look like you've seen a ghost
O'BRIEN: Its Councillor Troi Sir, she's actually wearing a uniform
PICARD: What? Troi in a uniform? Dont talk nonsense man
O'BRIEN: But its true just look
PICARD: No way, I'm not gonna fall for your nonsensical gibberish. Stop hallucinating at once or I'll send you to sickbay and we all know what happens to redshirts in sickbay eh.
RIKER: So you finally found a cure for the radiation that made Lt. Ivana Humpalot invisible but now your having trouble locating her? Well I'm very sorry Dr Crusher but I'm currently the only person sitting in this chair I dont know why the ships computer would tell you otherwise.
DATA: Commander....Commander...
PICARD: No use Data he's fast asleep.
DATA: Sir, I believe in situations like this it is required for one of us to draw a mustache upon him
PICARD: He already has one...but we could shave off one of his eyebrows...and half his beard maybe
LAFORGE: Or transport him to the holodeck and run that NX-01 holoprogram. Lets make him think Pressman coming back because of a rumor someone found the Pegasus.
PICARD: Make it so
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RIKER: Relax, doc. I can eat like this all day and never gain an ounce. It's my metabolism.
That's brilliant.
Agreed, pure awesome.
My god, that's hilarious!!
Picard: "The Duras Sisters? I could kick their asses with my butt. See?"
[He fires weapons with his bum.]
Picard: "It'd take a real schmuck to lose to those chumps."
Riker: "Yeah, heh. A real schmuck."
Riker: "Another Barclay episode? Is it The Nth Degree?"
Data: "No, sir."
Riker: "Wake me when it's over."
Geordi: "We have to out-pose Commander Riker, or he'll just keep posing on everything, like an out-of-control male model!"
Picard: "Care to explain why there's a Gonk Droid on my bridge, Mr. O'Brien?"
Picard: "What are you suggesting could be abducting our crewmembers in their sleep, then, Commander?"
Riker: "I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens."
Picard: It's no good chief, Troi's legs aren't distracting them, the internet nerds have noticed we couldn't find the season one Captain's chair.
Riker: Wait, HOW many posters just assumed I'm miming groping tits? Was there ever a man more misunderstood?
Riker: Wait, HOW many posters just assumed I'm miming groping tits? Was there ever a man more misunderstood?
Data: (off-screen) I believe the expression, "if the shoe fits, wear it" applies in this situation, Commander.
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