• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

SF LGBT Pride Day

With all due respect to you and Peacemaker...but its always that people that are not subject to the hostility that talk about segregation. Must be nice to fit in so easily but it seems ... problematic at best to suggest that those that do not should just endure the scorn. Again, must be nice...

1. That's an assumption without an statements from me to back it up. For starters, where did I even suggest you do not deal with hostiility? And wehre I did I suggest that you, if you do, just endure the scorn?

You're quick to talk about hositility because you're black. Well, Sweetie, you trying being out in small town North Carolina where I live. It's talk like this that reflects precisely what I'm talking about. You're so focused on hostility because of your race that you seem to think that your'e the only person that's deals with hostility. Guess what, I deal with hostility every day. , and, yes, it does take a lot more courage to be out in the South Side than Boystown - I know, because I've lived in both - and frankly, I think it takes more courage to be out and HIV positive in small town Iowa or NC or near a Marine base like my ex than it does to live where I do or in the South Side. So, if we're going to get into a pissing contest about who has more courage - his name is Joe and I'm privleged to know him and to have shared part of my life with him and lived that life for a few years with him.

And that's precisely the attitude I'm talking about when I say that what you perceive as hostility is a two way street in some places. It's the sort of hostility that some of us feel at your segregated events - and, yes, that's exactly what they are if you're going to display attitude to us white folks. It''s the same kind of segregation that gays in general display when they sequester themselves in the gay ghettos and when the straights come in they start whinging about it - that's happening in the Castro right now, as well as a few other places. I don't live in those places for a reason. For somebody who wants to come across as being more welcoming because of his race, you are coming across to me as a white gay man as very unwelcoming. Get your hackles down, Gurl.
 
With all due respect to you and Peacemaker...but its always that people that are not subject to the hostility that talk about segregation. Must be nice to fit in so easily but it seems ... problematic at best to suggest that those that do not should just endure the scorn. Again, must be nice...

And I'll tell you something else...it takes WAY more courage to be out and proud in that park on the South Side than it does to be hanging out in Boystown. If you really think about it...who's segregating from who?
Indeed. These two guys play the old game of turning around victim and offender. One usually encounters this ugly shit when the raped woman is blamed for it.
 
Indeed. These two guys play the old game of turning around victim and offender. One usually encounters this ugly shit when the raped woman is blamed for it.

Hardly.

I'm just the guy who actually went to the event that's being discussed here. There were 850,000 people at the parade. To pretend that anyone who wasn't a white male age 18-26 should expect to face racial slurs and open hostility doesn't jive with my experience (or the overwhelming experiences of most in the crowd).

No one's denying that there's racism or discrimination in this world. But Gotham clearly has issues with his homosexuality, and with race in general. One doesn't go to anti-gay reparative therapy if they don't. And it's hard to listen to his account with out acknowledging that.
 
I've never been to any pride events, as the last 2 in liverpool have been badly timed with other things going on, but next weekend is Sparke in manchester, a trans event which should be awesome! Being trans myself it might actually give me the confidence to go out as myself for once!
 
No one's denying that there's racism or discrimination in this world. But Gotham clearly has issues with his homosexuality, and with race in general.
After having accused a victim instead of the perpetrator of racism of segregation you are obviously the one who has issues with race.
 
Indeed. These two guys play the old game of turning around victim and offender. One usually encounters this ugly shit when the raped woman is blamed for it.

Hardly.

I'm just the guy who actually went to the event that's being discussed here. There were 850,000 people at the parade. To pretend that anyone who wasn't a white male age 18-26 should expect to face racial slurs and open hostility doesn't jive with my experience (or the overwhelming experiences of most in the crowd).

No one's denying that there's racism or discrimination in this world. But Gotham clearly has issues with his homosexuality, and with race in general. One doesn't go to anti-gay reparative therapy if they don't. And it's hard to listen to his account with out acknowledging that.

Wait, how do you KNOW what the experiences of the POCs in that crowd actually were. At best you know what your small segment experienced. You just made a huge assumption that I'm betting you are not qualified to make. I make no assumptions about what anyone there experienced personally beyond my own. That said having spoken to other POCs in the past about this, lets just say there are things that happen that you are not aware of and fortunately will not have to experience.

Finally, your assumptions about me are WAY off base. Again, I can only assume that its based on your own narrow experience. Just understand that not everyone is or will be as fortunate as you and be welcomed in the same way. I can only ask that you recognize that your experience may not be universal. Just as I ask the rich people that I've known to step outside of the bubbles and try to see things through the eyes of people less fortunate than themselves, I'd ask you to do the same.

I am curious as to where you get the idea that I have issues with race in general? I know that many on the right conclude that pointing out racism means that people have issues with race...but I'm surprised to see that from someone not of that mold.
 
No one's denying that there's racism or discrimination in this world. But Gotham clearly has issues with his homosexuality, and with race in general.
After having accused a victim instead of the perpetrator of racism of segregation you are obviously the one who has issues with race.

Its ok...there are people that never have to experience certain types of adversity and just assume that those that do are either making it up or exaggerating the impact. Its not fundamentally different than the conservatives that claim that racism is not an issue or that poor people are poor because they are lazy and don't work hard enough. Some people simply cannot conceive that the world is different than what they experience on a daily basis. It takes a willingness to talk to people and try to understand their experiences in order to understand their world. Not everyone is willing to do that. Its easier to simply sit in their bubble and proclaim that the other guy is simply wrong and not even worth hearing. Fox News has made millions on that very attitude.
 
You guys are really getting into more sensitive and political topics like race and racism, and I would rather prefer that everyone stay on topic. While I can understand that intolerance and inequity still exist in our society, this is not the thread for such discussions. I started this thread to discuss the cultural dynamics of a Pride parade and how the event is perceived by the LGBT community and others, but this isn't meant to be an overtly political discussion on race or ethnicity. Once you get that rolling, it only promotes animosity and divisiveness.

Thank you.
 
You guys are really getting into more sensitive and political topics like race and racism, and I would rather prefer that everyone stay on topic. While I can understand that intolerance and inequity still exist in our society, this is not the thread for such discussions. I started this thread to discuss the cultural dynamics of a Pride parade and how the event is perceived by the LGBT community and others, but this isn't meant to be an overtly political discussion on race or ethnicity. Once you get that rolling, it only promotes animosity and divisiveness.

Thank you.

Umm...except that this discussion is STILL about the Pride Parade and the LGBT community. There are many complexities within the community. some of us don't have the luxury of checking our identities at the door....you know what, you're right! I'm sorry for injecting another perspective into the conversation. I keep forgetting that when we talk about "LGBT community" we're not talking about everyone. Sorry to derail. Carry on :cool:
 
Sorry, Griff, this'll be my last post on this


It's interesting watching you:

1. Criticize me for talking about things I don't understand while describing what you *might* have experienced at an event I *actually* attended.

And

2. Criticize me for talking about experiences that I couldn't understand based on my personal history, while not knowing what experiences I've had and what my history is.


As for horatio's (to be expected) worthless post accusing me of racism, a quick note: Saying that a man who has chosen to avoid a diverse event in favor of one designed for his own ethnicity of self-segregation is not anything like "blaming a rape victim", it is in fact just an accurate assessment of what happened.
 
No one's denying that there's racism or discrimination in this world. But Gotham clearly has issues with his homosexuality, and with race in general.
After having accused a victim instead of the perpetrator of racism of segregation you are obviously the one who has issues with race.

Its ok...there are people that never have to experience certain types of adversity and just assume that those that do are either making it up or exaggerating the impact. Its not fundamentally different than the conservatives that claim that racism is not an issue or that poor people are poor because they are lazy and don't work hard enough. Some people simply cannot conceive that the world is different than what they experience on a daily basis. It takes a willingness to talk to people and try to understand their experiences in order to understand their world. Not everyone is willing to do that. Its easier to simply sit in their bubble and proclaim that the other guy is simply wrong and not even worth hearing. Fox News has made millions on that very attitude.


The thing is, Gotham, you mentioned me by name, specifically, as if I had never seen this or experienced it and had suggested that you (whether gay POC in general or you personally or both) just grin and bear it.

Care to quote me on any of those allegations? Of course not, because you can't, and not one bit of it is true - and that, my friend, as I pointed out is the exact sort of thing that my first post, in part, was talking about.

And as you ask Indy not to think that his experience is universal and think that he can speak to the experiences of POC there - well, Gotham, those same objections apply to you as well. Your experience isn't universal, and you can't possibly know about the experience of each and every POC at the event Indy attended, nor can you know my experiences or Indy's or that of anybody anywhere in any part of our subculture, POC or not a POC.
Your post above that I quoted is as easily applied to you as it is anybody else, using your own yardstick.

That's my point. I merely pointed out that these same objections you are leveling are reversible in some places - like where I've lived at one time and where I live now. I don't think segregated events - and that is what you are talking about, Gotham, are a long term solution to these problems, and you've demonstrated why very clearly here. You took that and have somehow this thread has gotten it seems to placing me and Indy on the same level as person who blames the victim, Somehow, I don't think I'm projecting my issues; whereas it appears to me you are. Damn Gurl, don't get over your perceptions of your treatment, but I suggest you dial it back a bit and get over yourself. And, like I said, if you're going to get into a pissing contest over courage in being out in a certain neighborhood over another, as I pointed out, my ex-boyfriend has more courage in his pinky finger than either you or me. Gryff is right - all I did is offer another perspective from another region and all I got in return was "I've got more courage than you, don't tell me I have to suck it up" when I didn't make it about courage nor tell you you should suck it up.

This is one of the key objections the folks at Atlanta's Black Pride event get - so I'll stop here by illustrating the point - it's not the wider community now that's being "divisive" it's coming from the opposite direction these days, and when the wider community organizers point this out, it's the other side that acts just like Gotham has here, and it just fosters more misunderstanding and drama. Gay drama - that's one huge reason I don't live in the gay ghetto anymore. That is why I don't think segregated Pride events really are an long-term solution, and, to get on to Gryff's larger point, when we do that, I think that can have the potential to play into the hands of our socio-political opponents in particular. It makes us easier to divide and conquer.
 
Its ok...there are people that never have to experience certain types of adversity and just assume that those that do are either making it up or exaggerating the impact. Its not fundamentally different than the conservatives that claim that racism is not an issue or that poor people are poor because they are lazy and don't work hard enough. Some people simply cannot conceive that the world is different than what they experience on a daily basis. It takes a willingness to talk to people and try to understand their experiences in order to understand their world. Not everyone is willing to do that. Its easier to simply sit in their bubble and proclaim that the other guy is simply wrong and not even worth hearing. Fox News has made millions on that very attitude.
Yep, many White middleclass guys talk about multiculturalism and political correctness but do not care at all about racism and poverty. I think these pseudoliberals are even worse than conservatives. In the case of the latter you know at least immediately that you deal with the enemy.
 
it's not the wider community now that's being "divisive" it's coming from the opposite direction these days, and when the wider community organizers point this out, it's the other side that acts just like Gotham has here, and it just fosters more misunderstanding and drama.

And, you've done it again. Congratulations! Its not us, its you. Yeah we treat you like shit....but you doing your own thing, that's the REAL problem. :rolleyes:
 
I love the word "self-segregation" as it is the equivalent of "she as asking for it". Via turning around cause and effect people reveal what they truly are.
 
it's not the wider community now that's being "divisive" it's coming from the opposite direction these days, and when the wider community organizers point this out, it's the other side that acts just like Gotham has here, and it just fosters more misunderstanding and drama.

And, you've done it again. Congratulations! Its not us, its you. Yeah we treat you like shit....but you doing your own thing, that's the REAL problem. :rolleyes:

No, that's not what I stated, and I never denied the validity of the way you perceive yourself to be treated or that there is racism within the gay community. Stop being a drama queen.

What I stated was that one of the key objections that the Black Pride event has gotten in recent years is that attitudes like yours - which take what's being said and develop an entire narrative in this particular case about two individuals from statements that have been made that aren't even remotely true and for which no quotes can be mustered - have begun to prevail (and,yes,they have in Atlanta, my friend). Put another way, you, Gotham, and, in my opinion some of the leaders of the event in Atlanta, have become the mirror image of those you are criticizing yourselves. What else should I think when you run an entire unfounded narrative for which, when asked, you have not mustered any explanation other than to repeat the narrative, about what I've stated here? That's not solving anything - it's making it worse, and this thread here illustrates it clearly. It happens on an individual level, and I suggest that it happens at the aggregate level. In other words, as I have repeatedly stated, your objections float both ways, and until you acknowledge that, yes, I think you are contributing more to the problem than to the solution - and that plays right into the hands of our social and political opponents, and, on a more personal level, from what I have seen here in my brief experience with you, I'm inclined to agree with Indy that there is, on some level, some projection going on here on your part. Put in gay speak: I'm trying to have a rational discussion, and all you're doing is being a bitchy queen. Like I said, gay drama.

I love the word "self-segregation" as it is the equivalent of "she as asking for it". Via turning around cause and effect people reveal what they truly are.

That's your tendentious definition, not mine. Quote me where I suggested that "self-segregation" and "she's asking for it are equivalent expressions. Of course, you can't. No, what I stated is that I don't think segregated events are a long term solution. Stating that and "self-segregation = she's asking for it" are not logically convertible propositions.

Yeah, you're right, reversing cause and effect does reveal persons for what they are. You've done a marvelous job here. Like I stated before, I'm not the one injecting race into the equation, and when I try to talk about it, I get accused of racism for pointing out what - that the objections cut both ways - when they very clearly do as this thread shows.. Yeah, I'm the one with issues about race. No, if anything I'm just the one that has the guts to admit to having issues with race and a good part of it is because of the kind of treatment like I've gotten here. Like I said, I know real courage, it's not the black gay guy being out on the South Side; it's the HIV positive white gay guy living in a small town in Iowa like my ex or myself - don't lecture me about not understanding another person's experience. I know what is like to lose a job for being gay; I know what is like to be asked to leave a public swimming pool for being HIV positive. I've experienced discrimination as an HIV positive man within the gay community, in churches, and in the workplace, privately and publicly, in general and personally - so, yes, I can, in point of fact relate on some level to the way Griffin perceives himself to have been treated and to even suggest that I, in particular, are stating what you're stating horatio is, frankly, very, very wrong.

I'm done here. I left the gay ghetto because of crap like this.
 
Last edited:
Another poster used this term. I totally agree with you that the separation of the gay community is bad. Gee, I am the one who argued for a more universal emancipatory struggle.

But to accuse Gotham of being responsible for this very splitting because he chooses to not endure the racism in the mainstream parade anymore is turning around cause and effect and yes, that is as sick as claiming that a raped woman was "asking for it".

Shouldn't you care about eradicating racism in your own ranks instead of pointing the fingers upon the non-White folks who do their own thing, shouldn't you clear up the mess in your own house to make them feel welcome again?
I linked to a short speech by Butler some posts ago. She was also fed up with the racism she experienced on a gay parade. Interestingly the groups she prefers are precisely more universal ones, groups that fight against all kinds of discrimination and not merely homophobia.
 
I did not accuse him of being responsible for this splitting because he chooses not to endure the racism because he makes this choice to not participate. That was his characterization and yours, not what I, in particular, ever stated.

What I stated was that I don't think segregated events is a long term solution to these issues.

What I stated was that, given his attitude toward Indy and me - notice that he's the one that has developed an entire racial narrative here toward us for simply having a different perspective - is more a part of the problem in my opinion than the solution.

On an aggregate level, because of my experiences in gay politics, yes, I think that there is shared responsibility for some of this - and his actions here have been illustrative of what I see coming from his side of the aisle when it comes to one particular event.

I never said that racism in "our own ranks" isn't an issue. Once again, that's a fact free characterization of what was stated. What I stated is that the objections cut both ways. And as far as parades go - I have already stated that I think they have in many cases become the equivalent of NASCAR events now, so I just don't go. So, really, I don't have a dog in this hunt. I'm no longer a participant, for other reasons of my own. But when the issue arises, as it has here, I can speak from experience as an attendee but more so as an organizer at one time, and from those experiences I don't think segregated events is a long term solution.

And when I read things like "You can't KNOW the experiences of the POC there." ...Well, okay, that's right - and Griffin can't KNOW my experiences or Indy's experience nor can he KNOW the experiences of any individual or group universally. Yet he's speaking as if he can. In other words, his own objections cut both ways. I can't speak for all HIV positive gay men of any race, but I can speak to that of myself and my ex and many others. I can speak from my experience - and that is precisely what I'm doing. Why is my experience or that of Indy not valid while his is - especially when we have never denied the validity of his personal perceptions or experiences?
 
Last edited:
"Racial narrative", another ugly word which implies that it is partly made up. I wonder how you would respond if somebody discounted the ugly shit you had to endure as "homophobic narrative".

Like I said, I know real courage, it's not the black gay guy being out on the South Side; it's the HIV positive white gay guy living in a small town in Iowa like my ex or myself

Another ugly line that discounts racist experiences. I am the only victim.
 
No, those are just your tendentious characterizations. Yes, that's a racial narrative, and, yes, I do think it's partly made up on an aggregate level- and that too cuts both ways on an aggregate level. Actually in this case, I don't think it's as much made up as it is being projected onto Indy and me. That's where I think things are being made up. In fact I know they are.

I'm not the one who brought up the issue of where it takes more courage to be out - Griffin did that. Go back and read the thread, horatio.

So, if he gets to state this:

And I'll tell you something else...it takes WAY more courage to be out and proud in that park on the South Side than it does to be hanging out in Boystown

Then I get to state something else.

Tangential point: "Victim" is your word, not mine. I, sir, am a survivor.

Back on point: So, if I'm playing the victim card as it were, then that too cuts both ways. I've never discounted anyone's experiences. That's just your characterization - a fact free one at that.

And that's been my point here. I stated yeah, I agree, it does take way more courage to be out and proud on the South Side than Boystown, but I also think that it takes more courage, having lived in many place in my life, to live in rural Iowa and be out and proud and HIV positive as well. You want to look at courage - his name is Joe.

Woohoo, he gets to be courageous in a park at a Pride event, in a difficult part of town. Well, Joe deals with it every day - and so do I. So, if we want to talk about courage, sure, we can. I'm not discounting anybody's experience as if I'm the only victim. I'm just pointing out that in a pissing contest it's the rural gay HIV positive male (of any race) that wins - in my opinion. My responses are pegged to his objections.

And that's my greater point - all of these objections cut both ways.
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top