Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endings

[LeadHead]

Happy Sunday to everyone! My apologies for the tardiness, but enough of that!

First up to the plate, we have the "Starfleet's finest" Award, going to:

Spock: "Still can't see the shuttle, Captain."

Next, we have the "Does that mean we get to make the villains go Pop?" Award, going to:

"I have been pumping it full of helium for half an hour, Jim, and it still isn't floating".

"Try one of the Khan or Kruge balloons; they're more popular anyway".

Next, we have the "Save the Franchise!" Award, going to:

DeForest Kelley: No, wait, come back! We'll make another movie and it'll be good. Please, please! I promise. We'll get that Myers guy back, the one who directed Star Trek II. I promise!

We have 2 Photoshop winners this time around, I just couldn't choose between them. So Awesome Guys!

COMMANDER TAGGART:If I could offer some advice.

And...

Sybok: "Where did you get that thing?!?"

Spock: "Have you forgotten that our great-grandfather is Soakar?"

Kirk: "Spock, can you see the plot from here?"

Spock: "I couldn't find the plot to this movie with two more hands and a treasure map..."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners! It is time to bring the Undiscovered Country back to the Caption Contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Valeris: Direct hit. They're helpless Sir.

Spock: Try to blow off a Warp Nacelle with the next shot. I'll 50 Achievement points for that.

Chef: No, we don't serve Russian Cuisine.

Chekov: Security, take him away!

Colonel West: Mister President, we've spent hours and hours making this "Project Retrieve." We'd like for you to take a look at it.

President: Of course, we must plan this properly, because there's no way the Enterprise can just go in and improv a rescue of Kirk and McCoy.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Colonel West: Paper? Am I giving this presentation on paper? This is charming. I just point to it like this? Splendid. And how do I advance to the next slide? Oh, I FLIP it. By hand! Wonderful.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

In the Enterprise training simulator:
Scotty: "And that, cadets, is what happens if ye try t' dump th' latrine waste tanks at the same time yer firin' up th' impulse engines."

Colonel West: "And to the guy in the audience who just whispered to the guy next to him that using a laser pointer this close to the chart is like using a calculator to add two plus two, up yours!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Chekov: "So I'm a former chief of security who doesn't know how a phaser works on a starship... Don't look at me, I didn't write this shit."

Colonel West: "This is Operation Retrieve, how we sneak into the Klingon Empire and... Um, this is a security matter Mr President, perhaps the Romulan Ambassador should leave the room."
President: "Ah, let him stay. What's the worst that could happen?"

Spock: "There must be a malfunction in the torpedo inventory monitors. Did we fire, or didn't we?"
Scott: "Hell with that! That clock over the viewscreen keeps jumping backward and forward. I'm fixing that bugger first! Sod the monitors!"

 

[shivkala]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Thanks for the win!

Spock: Any luck in finding what happened with the attack on the Chancellor's ship?
Valeris: Negative sir, though Commander Chekov did have a suggestion.
Chekov: Using the new breakthrough, Instant Cassettes, we can fast-forward to the ending and figure out what happened.
Spock: Ah, I see. Fascinating. However, I believe we are still too early in the movie. Lt. Valeris, prepare to fast-forward.
Valeris: Preparing to fast-forward...
Scotty: *sigh* Ye not be needing to fast-forward to see where this be going, Lassie.

Chekov: I have figured it out, it was Lt. Dax in the galley with the whisk.
Chef: Who's idea was it to train security officers by using Clue?

Col. West's plan to use cheap props and keep the rest of the money he budgeted for the presentation to himself fell apart when Nicholas Myer's plan to have the President be blind went by the wayside.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Thanks for the win! And a to Nerys Myk.

Koenig: "How am I supposed to give a believable performance while staring at visual commentary on the previous film?"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Scotty: Och, we hit 'em right in the balls!

Chekov: Ah ah ah ah staying alive, staying alive... what, too soon for a Robin Gibb gag? He was Wussian you know.

West: You don't want to know how long it took us to come up with this mission name.

Chekov: "So I'm a former chief of security who doesn't know how a phaser works on a starship... Don't look at me, I didn't write this shit."

Kirk: Well, that's part of the reason why you're having to use the word "former" there. In fact, you're a former helmsman, a former second in command, a former acting science officer... You've basically failed at every position in the ship haven't you? Hmmm, chief chef next maybe?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Chekov: "Alright, let's talk turkey! Hah! First time I ever literally meant that!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

IRON CHEF FEDERATION, floor commentator try outs....

CHEKOV: I see turkeys out on the Iron Chef's station Alton...

ALTON: That's because it's the secret ingredient!!!!

 

[Maurice]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Thanks for the win!

SPOCK: The torpedo hit, again.
CHEKOV: (singing)
Instant replay. I've got to have it
Instant replay voo-voo-voo-ooh
Instant replay got me floating on a cloud
Got me dancing all around all around all around. voo!
SPOCK: You're relieved, Commander Chekov.

CHEKOV: My finger phaser can be set to stun, kill and golden brown!

WEST: And my this method, we can fund the Contras to clean their chronometers without having to consult the Federation Council.
PRESIDENT: Forget it, Oliver. Do I look like Reagan?

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Thanks for the win.

"Now everyone think very hard. Was it "war with the Klingons" or "war with the Romulans" announced in the last message from Command? Come on people, think!"

Chekov: "Stand back. My finger has been in the soup. I will taste in 5...4...3..."

West: "Now, keeping in mind we haven't seen Season 23 yet, we've gone through most of the episodes in exhaustive detail and we believe, Mr. President, that Springfield is likely located here".

 

[Balrog]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Valeris: As you can plainly see, the sperm enters the egg, impregnating the female...

Spock: Thank you, Lt., but now's not the time to use the photon hit on the Chancellor's ship for the crew's yearly Sex Ed. review...

Chekov: I have come to VONE conclusion! This plot is a turkey...

Colonel West: As you can see, Mister President, we spent a lot of money and man power developing these maps and props as product placement for the FASA role-playing game system, but it still won't help me make it into the theatrical release of the film...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

"All right, Mr. Chekov. Torpedo hit, one more time. There. Back, and to the left... Back, and to the left... Back, and to the left."

"...and that concludes my presentation for 'Operation: Retrieve.' Any questions, Mr. President?"

"Yes. Can you turn your easel around so we can see what you're pointing at?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Kirk: "Good thing I got the Mysterious Stranger perk."

Chekov: "Destroy Klingonsky is like shoot turkey in mess hall! Bright light and many alarm!"

Colonel West: "As you can see, they are going to hack all the internets to hijack our drones with their com-pu-tors."

President: "We don't have drones, dumbass. Get out of my office."

 

[BriGuy]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Klingons: We fart in your general direction!

Now, normally I use this to play with my cat. But today I present Operation Retrieve...

 

[BriGuy]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

With his hand, Chekov wasn't too good at "flipping the bird."

His next attempt just pissed off the cooks.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

West: "Okay, who's the wise guy with the oversize post-it notes?!?"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Re: Movie Caption Contest #217: Star Trek VI: The Undiscoverable Endin

Chekov: "I present to you a Russian delicacy of the highest order....stuffed Predator heads!"