TNG Caption This! 261: Happy Feelings

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday to everyone! Hope the week has treated you well! Let's get going!

First up to the plate, we have the "Consequences" Award, going to:

"You told me you had that camera disabled!"

Next, we have the "Worf's about to get a better parking space..." Award, going to:

WORF (to LA FORGE): Now I must kill you.
DATA: Is this another example of obscure Klingon ritual, Mr Worf?
WORF: No.
PICARD: Permission Granted.

Next, we have the "On Duty Distractions" Award, going to:

Riker: Okay, now trade your 'Shield of Fire' for 'Armour of the Gods' and your ready to go on the quest. You are a level 10 warrior-mage right?"

Moving forward, we have the "Stock Footage" Award, going to:

Picard: Why can't we find a nebular that doesn't look like the one from The Wrath of Khan?

Next, we have the "Obsessive, Much?" Award, going to:

Troi: <thinking> Damn it Will, take a cold shower!

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Dorn: "Haven't you ever heard of 'Fisherman Worf '?"

Stewart: "You're trying to upstage my portrayal of Ahab, aren't you?"

Burton: "I hear that pretty soon they're going to have Marina's character thinking that you're the catch of the day."

Spiner: "Hey, that gives me an idea for a bonus track on my Ol' Yellow Eyes Is Back cd. 'Dorn between two lovers....Feelin like a fool....' "

PICARD: I've taken care of our "little problem." In unrelated news, if Starfleet asks where Melkon VII went just shrug and say you don't know.

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! Lets get our new one going!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Data: I have completed the lights for your rave, Commander.

Geordi: Data, I really think we should make you USB compatible.

Deanna: You're getting sleepy, Very sleepy.

Worf: (snores)

Deanna: Ooops.

Data: I have determined that the junior officers are going to mutiny against the both of you and select a new Captain.

Picard: Who will it be?

Data: Me. Now get out of my chair.

Klingon: No, I'm not Gowron! Why does everyone get us mixed up?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "It is the Galactic Olympic Torch! We have to warp over to Celtris IX, where I have to pass it off to some guy on the Endeavor!"

Data: "Geordi-bubba...Ah thank yew done acciduntly activated muh hillbilly circuits!"

Picard: "Mr. Data, could you please stand somewhere else? That reflection in the desktop is weirding me out!"

Klingon: "Well, they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But without the ridges, Picard, it's a weak effort--"
Picard: "I'm naturally bald!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Analysis, Mr Data?

DATA: Verily, this hammer doth posses power beyond the ken of mortals.

LAFORGE: According to these readings, you're totally baked.

TROI: And you just happened to forget your birth control????

WORF: You are with out honor!!!!!

PICARD: No Mr. Data. I would not like to see whats in the box.

KLINGON: Why is it you only call when I'm on the crapper?

 

[T'Girl]

Deanna: You're getting sleey, Very sleepy.

Beverly: "Am I supposed to be sleey, or sleepy?

 

[LeadHead]

Deanna: You're getting sleey, Very sleepy.

Beverly: "Am I supposed to be sleey, or sleepy?

Whoops! Fixed it!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DEANNA: You're getting sleazy, Very sleazy.

WORF: The Captain wants to know what's taking so long.

 

[Gepard]

Thanks for the win!

DATA: The probe is ready. Please bend over.

GEORDI: I'm sorry, Data. I can't get that song out of your head either.

DATA: Step three: have her open the box.

"I assure you, captain, the 'one-cheek-sneak' is quite honorable."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Thanks for the win!

 

[bullethead]

Geordi: Huh, you've got some memories from our first season locked out for some reason. Wonder what that's about...

Troi: Don't resist Doctor. I might have to turn the indoctrination setting higher, which would turn you into a mindless zombie. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?

Captain Picard realized that Troi indoctrinating people explained how she selected for his crew, when all she did was state the obvious.

Data: With this handy-dandy device, all your indoctrination worries are gone!
Worf: Now that I'm not indoctrinated, it's hard to keep from decapitating you whenever you pull shit like that. Sir.

This year's renewal of the Khitomer Accords entailed winning a staring contest against the reigning Klingon champion.

Captain's Log: After stopping space pirates in the Dauphin system, they have been revealed to be my arch-nemesis - children.

 

[Isis]

Riker: "What's that?"

Data: "You said, 'Buy Grabthar's hammer,' so I went on e-bay and I bought Grabthar's hammer."

Riker: "No, that was, 'B-Y Grabthar's hammer.'"

Data: "Whoops, my bad."

Geordi: "Captain, I think I found your lost contact."

Riker: "Of course this isn't working. You're facing my bad side."

Klingon: "This better be important. You just interrupted 'Dancing With the Stars.'"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Say, Counselor, I'll give you ten credits to make her run a lap around C Deck in her bra and panties!"
Troi: "Fifteen."

 

[Isis]

Activating a BS detector sometimes yields unexpected results.

 

[Holdfast]

A themed set of captions...

DATA: 24th Century Fleshlight, Commander?

GEORDI: I only need a miniaturised version.
DATA: My condolences, Geordi.

TROI: This is the Betazoid version.
CRUSHER: I think I just learned something new about interspecies comparative anatomy.

DATA: Yes, Captain, this is what we Androids use.

KLINGON: You really don't want to see the Klingon version, Captain.

 

[Gary7]

Data had the great fortune of being selected as the Olympic torch runner for the 2380 Olympics, but unfortunately other circumstances kept him from his appointment.

Data: "And remember not to cut off too much from the back."

Troi: "Beverly, you steal my makeup compact again and we'll have to bring this up to the Captain, is that clear?"

Picard: "Will, is this true?"
Riker: "Ahhhh... ummmm..."
Data: "Yes, it is sir."
Riker: "What are friends for, eh Data?" *growl*

Picard: "I'm sorry, but we're fresh out of prune juice. However, we could offer you a synthetic laxative if that will help."

 

[Gary7]

Geordi: (singing) "Oh, Oz never did give nothin' to the Tin Man, that he didn't, didn't already have..."
Data: "Geordi, I think you missed the spot."

 

[Gary7]

Deanna: "Wesley hid this recording device in my quarters, though apparently not well enough. However, it captured everything that I did last night. EVERYTHING."
Beverly: "Oh... well, ummmm... at least it wasn't a video recording, right?"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks ftw.

Data: Excuse me Commander, but I need to polish the table.

Data: Geordi, I do not wish to appear insulting, but I was created by one of the greatest minds of our time. Are you sure that you are qualified to perform repairs on me?

Geordi: Sure... I'll try turning you off then on again first.

Troi: Beverly... will you look at the device and stop eye-balling my tits?

Crusher: I'm sorry... it's just they're right there in my face. And actually more hypnotic than the dohickey is.

Picard: OK, very funny. But who stole my desktop and replaced it with orange plastic strips?

Picard: Hmmm? Oh, sorry, I was just distracted by wondering what those buttons beneath the viewscreen actually do.

 

[Gepard]

DATA: That was not an interphase life-form, it was swamp-gas reflecting starlight from Venus.

 

[Gary7]

Deanna: "I'm a little concerned about Wesley. Last night, I had a vision of someone purported to be his nemesis and then he appeared in this frame. Do you recognize him?"
Beverly: "Oh my God..."
Deanna: "What?"
Beverly: "He... he looks a little like an illegitimate son of mine from long ago, but nobody is supposed to know about him. Forget I said anything."