TOS Caption Contest #256 What is that Deal?

[jespah]

Now on to our new contest..

Mom?

The crew reacted as These Are the Voyages played on the main viewer.

Next time, I slip the roofies in her drink when we're A LOT closer to my quarters.

Just add a pink triangle to each outfit and then you can go visit Mr. Sulu in his private quarters.

 

[Smoked Salmon]

MMMMMMM, I love the smell of greenbacks on a woman'shand.

Toooooo......much.....lens.....flare.

After a CD listening session the Shat considers renamed the record "The Catatonic Man"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK (grunting): Why couldn't it be Droxine.

 

[Schistocerca]

McCoy: Dead....but how?
Kirk: It was tragic. She was electrocuted by the static build up in her catsuit!

 

[Schistocerca]

Whilst Kirk kept her hands busy, Spock ran round the back and pulled her wig off!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk (thinking): "Well...I am getting her home before eleven. And, technically, her father didn't actually specify in what condition."

 

[Bob Karo]

The Enterprise is suddenly bitch slapped by a giant green hand.

Kirk: Jesus Christ!

Apollo (os): GUESS AGAIN!

 

[Disruptor]

And so Kirk was stuck like that for hours, having fell for the "crazy glue on the back of the hand trick".

"Girl...in yellow...her skin...so...blindingly pale!"

Another dead one, if only he'd known to call 911.

Spock: "I must concur, that last caption was in very poor taste."

 

[Isis]

In the 23rd Century, they could travel to the stars, but they couldn't remember to build the ships with seat belts.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KELVAN: I've never lost a game of chicken!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

The first and only time Kirk ever challenged an overbearing, omnipotent lifeform on the viewscreen with, "Why so arrogant? You think the sun shines out your ass?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Was the barrier made of brick last time we...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk (grumbling): "If you can't handle Romulan ale, then don't ask for Romulan ale!"

 

[Captain Crow]

[sound of a slide projector changing slides]

McCoy, offscreen: And here I am at the nude beach on Risa.

[everyone recoils in horror]

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Ah, so a collision course is a bad thing.

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk always was debonair with the ladies and always tried to jump in the sack with them.

Woman: Oh my god... the shine... Pictures... of...Shatner... with...no...toupee...on.. the pain!!! Take it away please!

Kirk knocked her senseless with a flying leg drop and now takes his prize to his cabin.

Animated Spock attempts the DOUBLE Vulcan Neck Pinch, with a full twist!

 

[UFO]

Kirk: Just because you didn’t feel the snake bite is no reason to take chances.

Spock: Let me get this straight, Sulu has a fashion blog?

Kirk: Love potion number nine my ass!

Kirk: You were right Chekov, we should have used barrier cream.

 

[Isis]

Shaw: "Nice to run into you, too, Jim, but I have to run for a second to the ladies room."

<brief pause>

Shaw: "I just realized I forgot to wash my hands when I used it a few minutes ago."

After Shatner convinced the entire TOS cast to attend his acting class, they put their newly learned skills to use when the script called for the Enterprise to hit a discarded bottle of Tang.

 

[Isis]

Kirk (to self): "This isn't what I expected when she said she'd sleep with me."

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win!

The crew struggled to hide Kirk's cannibalistic tendencies.