TOS Caption Contest #256 What is that Deal?

[MANT!]

Without further ado, I present...

Joe: "Yeah, let's talk about the coffee! You jerks took the last two cups and didn't make anymore!"

Kirk: "No, we don't have any identification papers. But...the lieutenant here has a nice, crisp ten dollar bill in his pocket!"
Spock: "Indeed!"

Thanks for letting me know I wasn't zipped up!!

M3 GREEN: This is difficult for me, Captain!
KIRK: Are you saying it's not easy being Green?
SPOCK: Ugh.

HOGAN: On second thought, Kinchloe might make a more convincing Nazi, than the two new guys.

Just too many good entries, keep it up everyone..

Now on to our new contest..

Do your worst!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GOLDSHIRT: Hey, that's my date!!!!!

JJ Frakking Abrams!!!!

KIRK ( panting): Quarters...too...far...have...to...stop...and rest.

SPOCK:Trust me, boys. There's enough to go around.

 

[Maurice]

SHATNER: What the hell are you wearing? You look like an explosion in a fabric shop.
JOAN MARSHALL: Bill Theiss is a good friend of mine.*
SHATNER: Shit, my shirts are never going to fit right after this, are they?

*—True!

KIRK: First time I let an alien drive and wham, right into the spacedock.

KIRK: Brother, how am I going to explain this one...?

SPOCK: Logic suggests less saturation...more periwinkle than purple.

 

[Maurice]

The Kirk-light turned up to 11.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Never ask to see what a Scotsman has under his kilt.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, MANT!

Spock: "Kevas, Trillium, you're both working tonight!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Kirk: *sniff* Smells of fish.

*To save money on breaking the actors contracts when the show was cancelled, Paramount blew up the soundstage*.

Kirk: Must start thinking of alibi...

Spock: Bad news lads, boot polish and pink tank tops won't cut it anymore, it's funny foreheads for you from now on.

 

[Bones_McCoy21]

This is 20 seconds before kirk was beaten to a pulp

Chekov: Have we all died and gone on to Russia?

Kirk (thinking): What I DON'T need is a reputation as the guy who couldn't keep his date awake all night.

 

[UFO]

The Devil makes work for idle hands.

Kirk: ♫ She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes ... ♫

 

[Nerys Myk]

Even though his model had fainted upon seeing his design, Kirk was determined to win Project Runway.

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: I stop listening after you said "Hello."

Kirk: Wait, isn't going through the Galactic Barrier a bad thing?

God-Chekov: Prepare to hear about all the things Russians Made First. FOREVER!

Clerk: I'm sorry Mister Kirk, no exchanges on your damaged Androids. Store credit only.

Spock: Nice to meet you Maltz, I had this odd feeling about you when I passed the Brig on your Bird of Prey.

 

[UFO]

Watching Spock's home movies always made the crew feel rather squeamish.

Kirk (muttering): Look Bones, I can go without sex for a month if I had to, I said.
A hundred credits says you can't, he said.
It's a bet, I said ...

 

[Vassa]

Spock(VO) : Doctor McCoy, does the Captain understand that he is proposing marriage?
McCoy(VO) : When has he ever read the cultrual briefings?
Spock(VO) : I sense we will see a Prime Directive violation soon?
McCoy(VO) : Count on it!

Kirk:That blowed up real gud!

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: She's dead, Jim.

Kirk: How do you know?

McCoy: We just watched you kill her.

 

[Isis]

Kirk sometimes forgot that not everybody keeps their genitals in the same place.

 

[Isis]

Spock: "I love you. However, I hate you."

Kalice 210: "But I'm identical in every way with Kalice 27."

Spock: "Yes, of course. That is exactly why I hate you. Because you are identical."

<The Kalices deactivate.>

Spock: "Fascinating."

 

[Captain Crow]

[Leonard Nimoy's "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" plays]

 

[TrickyDickie]

The crew reacts to a particularly nasty mission of charting gaseous anomalies.

 

[huskers57]

Kirk: "What is with that gown? Been raiding curtain remnant samples again?"

O'Donna, O'Donna, O'Donna, O'Donna
I had a girl.
O'Donna was her name.
Since you left me, I've never been the same
Cause I love my girl.
O'Donna where can you be?
Where can you be?
Now that you're gone I'm left all alone
All by myself to wonder and roam
Cause I love my girl
O'Donna where can you be?
Where can you be?
Well, Darling now that you're gone
I don't know what I'll do
Cause I had all my love for you
O'Donna, O'Donna, O'Donna, O'Donna
O'Donna, O'Donna

Spock: "Now, don't make me separate you two."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Shaw: "Oh, Jim! I remember the first time we met! You kissed my hands then, too! And then, the last time we saw each other, on Chelab IV, you kissed my--"
Kirk: "Not so loud!"