Well, Sunday was an interesting day. It saw my return to the wrestling ring.
Beau called me up on Saturday night and said he was staging a Christian wrestling show on Sunday and said a bunch of the guys he had booked for the show couldn't make it and he was desperate and asked if I could work on it. I was shocked, I haven't spoken to Beau since I refused to work the last Christian show he told me about and laid the atheism pipebomb on him. Also he doesn't usually run the shows himself so it didn't surprise me that so many people had pulled out. At first I felt insulted that he had only called me when he was "desperate" but I figured that must have been because he knew about my strongly held atheist beliefs and that I wouldn't do anything to go against them. I told him I couldn't do the show, but he then offered me a hundred bucks for the night. I then realized that maybe I'd been hasty. I have wanted to get back into wrestling for a long time and this could have been a perfect opportunity. I told my girlfriend about it (she was sitting next to me) and she asked if it would be dangerous. I hit back with "not as dangerous as going to a war-torn nation like you're planning!" and she looked meek. I'm still trying to influence her against going in subtle ways and this was a good score on my part.
I told Beau I was mature enough to accept that being an atheist shouldn't necessarily interfere with being involed in Christian Wrestling and that I would work the show. My girlfriend said she'd go with me as she was interested in watching me wrestle. I had to explain that I'd only be refereeing. She said she'd try to enjoy the show anyway. For a moment I was worried, what if the Chrsitian Wrestling converted her back to her old ways? She's come so far with my help and this could set her back to the dark ages. As I mentioned before, those Christian Wrestling shows can be quite the spectacle. But it turned out I was worrying over nothing...
When I arrived backstage on Sunday, things were in chaos. Beau was freaking out in a major way. I asked which match I'd be refereeing and he told me I'd be wrestling as Judas, not refereeing! I was shocked. He could he expect me to get back into the wrestling ring after only a day's notice!? He told me I wouldn't have to do much but they did a mini match between Judas and Jesus and he would be playing Jesus and would walk me through it. I agreed but said I'd need more money. I think this was reasonable. He said it would depend on how much they took. I peeked out through the curtains and saw there was only about thirty fans in attendance! Still, at least I'd be wrestling and my girlfriend would be watching and would be impressed. I told Beau fine, I'd do it and then he handed me a mask! I asked what the fuck (I was careful not to say "hell" as it would offend him) and he said as I wans't the regular guy who played Judas I'd have to wear the mask since I don't look like Judas. I pointed out that the real Judas didn't wear a mask in the bible and he got angry and threw the mask in my face and told me just to put it on. I told him to chillax and put the mask on. It smelled a bit on the inside and obscured my vision slightly. I was not happy.
Well, when it came time for the match I had to stand in the ring looking evil for a while while Beau and some others told the story of Jesus. I then had to hit Beau in the back with a steel chair to symbolize Judas stabbing him in the back. I then did a bit of wrestling with the Disciples. There was only five of them since Beau couldn't afford to pay any more and one of them was really fat and one was a girl. They were terrible wrestlers. As I said before I have not wrestled for a long time and, through no fault of my own, I blew my knee out running the ropes. I then lay on the mat clutching it in pain which wasn't part of the show and confused the crowd. Anyway, there was a spot coming up where Jesus (Beau) was supposed to dive off the cross onto me (I know this isn't even loosely like the bible, but bring it up with Beau, not me!) As my knee was legit hurt I didn't think he would do it. As I saw Beau climb up the cross I tried to motion him not to jump. I assumed he had saw it (I couldn't see him right because of the mask obscuring my vision) and rolled out of the ring. Well, Beau had dived just as I started to roll and ended up crashing to the mat. He landed badly and broke his wrist (I later found out.) This wasn't my fault! If I had tried to catch him, as planned, who knows what further damage I would have done to my knee?
Beau was raging at me backstage. He would not chillax at all. I said I did the best I could and still deserved my hundred bucks. He threw a twenty at me (what's with him and throwing?) and said I was lucky to get that. I could have kicked his ass and probably shouldn't have but, ironically, I "turned the other cheek." I did shout back "you probably just made more people atheists with this terrible show!" at him but I thought that was quite funny. I met up with my girlfriend. She said the show had been bizarre and she hadn't quite got it. I was pleased, she had NOT been converted back. She asked about me knee and I saw another opportunity to influence her against leavng the country. I told her that I thought it was pretty badly hurt and I'd need her help to get around. She said I should get it checked out at a hospital. I knew it wasn't really that badly hurt (in truth it had felt fine after I had rolled out of the ring) and said I'd sleep on it. Well, this morning I had to call her and tell her it was fine. Still, we're getting closer and closer to each other and if that doesn't stop her leaving, nothing will!
