TNG Caption This! 257: Full Speed Ahead

[TrickyDickie]

Voice from behind the opening: "You are traveling through another dimension, a dimention not only of sight and sound, but of mind...."

Tasha: "Leave it to you...."

Voice from behind the opening: "I am the mayor of The Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild, The Lollypop Guild...."

Picard: "Is that Captain Archer and Porthos?"

Worf: "Yes, this is a 'Quantum Leap Year'."

Tasha: "I love those shoes!"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Data: "I'm reading 'Headbanging For Dummies.' It states that if you make a fist like this, raise it, and yell, it shows a true appreciation for heavy metal music. Alice Cooper even has an album named for it."

Riker: "Tell you what....practice and I'll let you sit in the audience when I play Guitar Hero on the holodeck later."

Data: "I believe that there is something wrong with my emotion chip. I was watching 'The Sarah Connor Chronicles' when all of a sudden my hand made this fist and every time I blinked I saw the words 'terminate John Connor'."

Riker: "Sounds like you should tell Geordi what happened."

Data: "Agreed. I'll be back."

 

[TrickyDickie]

Picard: "I hate to have to do this to you, Number One, but if you don't agree to join me on the holodeck for another one of Dixon Hill's cases, I'll open the door and let Lwaxana in."

Riker: "This is just wrong."

Picard: "In this case, it would seem that two wrongs do make a Riker."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Just on the off chance that either of you actually do aspire to one day hold positions of real management responsibility, I feel I should point out that replacing a melted locking mechanism on the door would have cost a fraction of what replacing this entire bulkhead panel will."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Riker: Why the insufferably smug face Data?

Data: I'm practising my "Jeremy Kyle" subroutine. So, Mr. Worf, why did you never see your bastard son until his mother died? You make me sick.

Riker: Can I leave the naughty corner now Sir?

Crosby: Screw this shit, I'm blasting my way out of the show, nobody try and stop me!

Data: "TNG Caption Contest starts slightly later than normal due to leaky roof". Slow news day.

Geordi: And that Mr Baird, is for constantly getting my name wrong...

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW!

Riker: "And the reason Deanna thinks Hide and Seek -- with me as 'it' -- will cause the crew to bond is what?"

Picard (OS): "No time for your horoscope now, Mistah Data. We have work to do."

LaForge: "Yes, Captain, we've done the first few."

<brief pause>

LaForge: "So you're telling me there was a typo in the address? That we went to Warehouse 1047, which stores expensive, difficult-to-manufacture shuttles, but it should have said Warehouse 1074, which houses the junkyard that hired us to do those demolitions?"

 

[Finn]

Riker: Is that hers?

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the photoshop selection, Leadhead!

Data: "Alright! Yeah..."
Riker: "Uh Data, remember you've got to put your thumb up, or else it just doesn't work."
Worf: *snort*

Riker: "Strange, the door doesn't work for me anymore."
Picard: "You haven't been reading any books now, have you Riker?"

Picard: "You know, there is a door to that room, just around the corner."

Data: "Based on these writings, it baffles me that human beings ever achieved space travel, let alone worldwide peace."
Guinan (OS): "Data, that's the Daily Hay, a pre-industrial tabloid. I wouldn't measure humanity by it."

Geordi went to extraordinary lengths to shine up the magnesium alloy trim on shuttle nacelles.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Picard (over comm): How's it coming, Mister La Forge?

Geordi: We're fixing the Admiral's shuttle now.

Picard (over comm): Good, she doesn't want to have her flight status revoked. When she's happy, we're happy.

Geordi: Trust me. When we're done with it, it will look like renegade Acamarians stole it and took it out for a joyride.

 

[Gary7]

As they say, "There's a little bit of Irish in us all." Even Data.

 

[Vassa]

Riker: No really Worf. Kiss the dice for good luck!
Worf: Grrrrrr!

Riker: Nobody expects... Oh Wait, Damn! Let me go back out and try that again!

Picard:Do you two realize how toxic that stuff is when it melts?

Data:1877?!? Damn it, Wesley!

Geordi:The Trans-dimensional rift is eating about one Ensign an hour Captain. We should be okay for a few more days at that rate.

 

[boco]

Geordi: This is amazing! The counselor brought back the shuttle without a scratch!
Data(os): This because she used to autopilot..

Riker: And remember, up and down, gently, it's all in the arm, like this, and don't do it for more than 1h, or your wrist will start hurting
Worf: You two are talking about joystick videogames aren't you?

or

Riker: 4
Data: 3
Riker: You loose. Have a "nice" away mission with Wesley

Riker(thin voice): Someone open this damn door, it got my woody!!

 

[Locutus of Board]

Data: Since the reinstall of my emotion chip, I've been having anxiety.
Worf: I suggest you find a mate, or go on the holodeck. It's how I relieve the Klingon equivalent to human anxiety.
Data: Since I do not currently have a mate, nor had time to utilize the holodeck before reporting to you Commander Riker, I researched 10,000 cultures ideas of self-pleasure. Earlier today
*interrupting Riker: Wait, are you telling us in that hand of yours you just had a fistful of data's...?

 

[Holdfast]

DATA (reading): "If my calculations are correct you shall receive this letter immediately after you saw the Enterprise struck by lightning. Please let me assure you that I am alive and well. I have been living happily these past eight months in they year 1885. The lightning bolt that..."

DATA: 1885! September 1885! He's alive! Geordi's alive! He's in the Old West, but he's alive!

/cue the BTTF theme tune.

 

[Gary7]

DATA (reading): "If my calculations are correct you shall receive this letter immediately after you saw the Enterprise struck by lightning. Please let me assure you that I am alive and well. I have been living happily these past eight months in they year 1885. The lightning bolt that..."

DATA: 1885! September 1885! He's alive! Geordi's alive! He's in the Old West, but he's alive!

/cue the BTTF theme tune.

Good one!

 

[Gary7]

Geordi decided to trick out his ride a bit.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Data: "God damn that Edward Smith! There always has to be some kind of a horse's ass around to fuck everything up! No matter what I do, I can not make headway with any of this shit!"

Mister Ed: "Listen here, Metal Mouth, I have specifically returned just to kick you in your fully-functional nuts."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Where am I going to find a time machine in the 19th Century American West?

 

[inflatabledalek]

Data: "Yellow Make Up Found To Be Toxic"

 

[Sindatur]

DATA: Where am I going to find a time machine in the 18th Century American West?