DS9 Caption Contest #52: Ezri Dax, Spotted on DS9!

[CorporalCaptain]

Worf: Tell me more about this man Houdini.

Ezri: The debts you had were with Jadzia, so according to Trill law, they're forgiven. But if you tell Captain Sisko about Jake's sex education last night on the holosuite, I'll cut off your ears.

Quark: That seems reasonable.

 

[Skywalker]

Quark: "What's Jake grinning about?"
Ezri: "He just saw the end of my Mirror Universe episode."

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Oh, Rush must be in heaven.

Ezri: So this is the new punishment for re-association. Instead of banishing you for life, they just hang you upside down until you pass out. Huh. Not as bad as I thought.
Worf: Why do I have to be punished? I'm not a Trill!
Ezri: Oh, quit your whining. I didn't hear any complaints from you last night!
Worf: You know, the last time I banged a counselor I didn't get in nearly as much trouble. And that chick was the Imzadi of my superior officer!

Sisko had the distinction of creeping out both his father and his son when he started putting the moves on Ezri.

Quark: So do you have any idea why he's grinning like that?
Ezri: Not a clue.
Cirroc Lofton: I'm just so thrilled to be in this scene! I think they may have actually remembered I'm a regular cast member!

Ezri: This is my "I'm a badass" face. It's totally scaring you, isn't it?
*awkward pause*
Bashir: Um Ezri honey? No offense, but I think it's the phaser in his face that's scaring him.
Ezri: No, it's my "badass" face!
Bashir: Okay, fine. *sigh*

DS9 Gal AZ: My least favorite characters on the show, standing side by side?! Quick, somebody grab a phaser and take 'em out!

 

[boco]

Ezri: Wanna bet that the number of my spots is higher than the number of tribbles on K7 station?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Dax: "You doin' okay over there?"
Worf: "I'm not sure. What does a stroke feel like?"

 

[boco]

JAke: You'll lose, Quark, she does have spots there..

 

[Mistral]

Ezri: "Behold Worf, the mighty hunter!"

Worf: "Hey, you're stuck hanging here, too."

Ezri: "I can't believe you let that rabbit get the advantage over you."

 

[shivkala]

Ezri: You know...Jadzia may have fallen for the old, "It's a Klingon tradition," but, come, on Worf, at some point you're going to have to admit that you're a sado-masochist who likes torturing himself and his friends by tricking everyone into think it's some kind of Klingon ritual.

 

[ncc71877]

Ezri: "This kinda reminds me of that Deltan Swing you and Jadzia had."
Worf: "You where much taller then."

Sisko: "Jadzia never let me brush her hair, but Curzon insisted on it, he-he!"

Quark: "I'm still going to need to see an ID."

Vic: "So... I hear you're into hair play."
Ezri: "Just for Benjamin."
Vic: "oh..."

ncc71877

 

[TrickyDickie]

Worf: "These two pairs of gravity boots were responsible for the death of Chancellor Gorkon and using them to dance on the ceiling is not honorable!"

Ezri: "It is if we get honorable mention in the dance contest."

Worf: "Just because the word 'honorable' is...."

Ezri (interrupting): "That's all the data I need, Twinkle Toes."

 

[huskers57]

Worf and Ezri have a unique way of celebrating Diana Ross day.

Joseph Sisko thinking - "Trills are the alien trash of the galaxy..."

Ezri - "Gimme a Tab."
Quark - "I Can't give you a tab until you order something!"
Ezri - "Just give me a Pepsi Free..."
Quark - "You want a Pepsi pal, you're gonna pay for it!"

Bashir - "Never call Ezri "Mandy Moore" again!!! GOT IT!?!"

"I'm an excellent driver... I'm not wearing any underwear..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Who's that at the door?

SECRETARIAT!!!!!

 

[shivkala]

^

Love it!

 

[Bob Karo]

Worf: I do not see how this will work.

Ezri: I learned it from Kor when I still Curzon. This may be the reason why Kor cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

 

[boco]

Jake: What are you doing, dad?
Sisko: Playing Connect the dots

 

[Gary7]

Quark: "Those spots you have are rather disconcerting. Wouldn't you prefer to have them removed?"
Jake: "Quark, you have no idea apparently."
Quark: "Of what?"
Jake: "Man, the spots are like a hint of leopard. A wild animal. Getting rid of the spots would be like... like you deciding to reduce the size of your ears!"
Ezri: "Hahahahaha!"

Sisko: "You're right, Jake. They do kind of give her an 'essence of leopard' look. Very appealing. Very..."
Ezri: "Oh boy... maybe Quark was right."

Mirror Bashir: "I... ordered... a half-caff half-fat soy latte grande with rose scented syrup. And you put honey scented syrup in it! Now make it right, before I brand your butt with this weapon."

 

[Rush Limborg]

Mirror Bashir: "I... ordered... a half-caff half-fat soy latte grande with rose scented syrup. And you put honey scented syrup in it! Now make it right, before I brand your butt with this weapon."

Mirror Ezri: I'd listen if I were you. He's very picky.

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW!

Jake was very pleased that, for once, his match-making efforts were paying off.

Unfortunately, the DS9 Prime crew was no match for the awesomeness of the Mirror DS9 crew.

Fontaine: "We really need a new cello player. The guy we have now is so two-dimensional."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Fontaine: "You happy being out on the town with a famous celeb?"
Dax: "Sure! You happy having a babe half your age on your arm?"
Fontaine: "You know it!"

 

[Isis]

Worf: "Oops."

Ezri: "What's the matter?"

Worf: "I just realized these are the pants where I left that super-secret, ultra-valuable microdot."

Jake knew his father's foray into hair styling wouldn't last too long.

Jake (to self): "Yes, I think this 'instant-drying, invisible glue on the bar' trick' is going to work out well."

Fontaine (to self): "Why do they always give my piano player the better tux?"