I think my girlfriend is a Christian! Advice needed.

[cooleddie74]

C'est la vie. You have to let her make her own decisions and stop worrying about how close you got her to converting to atheism. At the risk of sounding like a dick, this isn't all about your ass and your wants and feelings. Provided this whole tale isn't all some huge collection of B.S. it seems doing this charity work for her church means something to her. If that's the direction her heart and soul want to follow...let her. Standing in the way will only make things even worse. She's an adult, and she's obviously decided she doesn't want to have the relationship with you that you want with her.

And per the comment you made about being paranoid: YOU THINK?! Seems like this entire sordid, messy drama has been nothing but paranoia on your part. You can't direct or control another person's life no matter how hard you want. She's not a child under your parentage or guardianship. Being mad at her for a conscious, quite admirable decision to do charity work under a religious banner isn't only counterproductive, it's stupid. You need to stop trying to force things to happen. Just stop thinking about yourself for five minutes and try to be happy for her that she's planning on doing something altruistic and positive. It's not your decision, man.

 

[Kemaiku]

Sitting two feet away from someone instead of four is not what's meant by "closer, physically". You're doing it wrong, thankfully.

 

[cooleddie74]

At this rate, the next chapter of the story is going to involve a scene straight out of THE KING OF COMEDY. She'll be tied and duct-taped to a chair while MB professes his undying love and tries to seduce her. Anything to keep her from going overseas.

Yep. Sounds like the Sweeps Week plot twist is coming!

 

[Kemaiku]

Yep. Sounds like the Sweeps Week plot twist is coming!

Ohhh, maybe we'll have a cliffhanger finale.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

How can I talk her out of it?

DUDE. You don't talk her out of it, you go with her. Do you know how lonely and needy she's going to feel once she is out of her comfort zone and away from mommy and daddy, eating weird food in a strange land? If you are there by her side, patting her arm and listening to her fears it will bind you together. You will be the ONLY important thing from her old life and you will become very important very quickly. This is why there are so many roadtrip movies.

Go get a passport.

 

[cooleddie74]

Great. Encourage international stalking.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Great. Encourage international stalking.

If she gets completely creeped out by him planning to come too she will just not go. It's a win either way.

 

[DonIago]

^Oooh, I like this. Sweeps week cliffhanger, here we come!

So much better than, "I Ross, take thee Rachel..."

 

[Trekker4747]

ARGH. A few hours ago my whole world was potentially shattered like an egg.

Aww, don't worry. It's part of growing up this happens to all young men your age. It's perfectly normal just put a book over it.

It happened so fast, with so few words. How quickly fate can chnage.

Ah. That's a bit different. In that case just make an excuse, leave and go clean up in the bathroom.

Things were going so well. We'd been hanging out again today. We've hung out a whole lot of days.

Two?

We were talking about the future.

At this stage of a relationship "the future" shouldn't be much more than "what movie you want to see this weekend."

This was exciting. I was imagining our future together.

Yes, imagining the future usually goes along with talking about it.

Then she says it.

She's another cousin, isn't she?

"Oh, I've been thinking of doing charity work in (some country, sounded asian) with the church. I'd be gone for three months, maybe six if it goes well, don't know." Then she just smiled LIKE IT WAS NOTHING.

Yeah, it's very hard for relationships to survive a three-month long separation due to other obligations. That's why there's so many single military service personnel.

First of all, I'd totally discounted her doing aids work as a possibility already.

Good idea. I mean, pfft. AIDS? Who works on that these days?

The reason she'd been acting strange was because of her sick disabled brother, NOT because she was going away.

Because it's only possible for a person to only have one thing on their mind at a time?

So it came as a complete shock to my system and I felt myself shaking with emotions.

That's call epilepsy.

Second of all, why not tell me sooner?

Some people can be so selfish.

We've been getting close for a while now, ever since that great day when we went out after college and I woke up at the sink.

"A while" being a week or two? And, wait what?!

Why string me along for this long if she was intending to go away?

Dude, she's going on mission work for three-months, it's not like she's moving to the moon.

We were JUST starting to getting closer (emotionally AND physically) and now this.

Madbaggins! Did you have a drug-fueled orgy again and not tell us?

Thirdly, I thought I'd almost talked her into atheism, so why do charity work with a church?

Because she thinks going to help other people in other countries is more important than her quasi-religious belief?

That would conflict with her new life choice, surely.

What new life choice? Did she get Baptized into atheism? Did she commit to the "church." Did she do anything at all to suggest she had any consideration for following atheism other than, sort of, liking some YouTube videos?

Why not do some nice secular charity work in a local area like my friend Jazz does (okay, it's court ordered community service in her case, but the point stands)?

Yeah! I mean, why care about people in other countries? Tell Jazz to say "Hi" to Will and Carlton for me.

Well, I made an excuse and left after hearing this and came right here to ask for advice.

Wonderful, you've got the exit-strategy skills of George Costanza.

I don't know how to handle this one. I'm so angry with her. Maybe I shouldn't be, but maybe SHE should have been honest.

In what way was she dis-honest? She's going on a three-month long trip. Deal with it. No reason to be upset with her man, it's a missionary trip. Nothing else.

How can I talk her out of it?

STONE COLD STUNNER!!!!

It's doubly frustrating because I've even made progress with
her dad lately.

Wait... you're putting moves on her dad?

Recently when I was at her house he came over and shook my hand.

First base, nice.

It was a nice gesture and he had a really strong handshake.

Oh yeah... baby. More like that...

I almost thought he was trying to intimidate me with it, but I think I was just being paranoid.

You? Nah...

 

[cooleddie74]

MadBaggins. If you're his cousin, an atheist and have a vagina then you're the fulfillment of his wildest dreams. Or at least his daytime fantasies as he peers through high-powered binoculars from the bushes.

This relationship was obviously bulletproof from the start. Foolish girl. Believing in God and wanting to do charity work in a Third World land. Some people are just selfish assholes. The nerve.

 

[Trekker4747]

Foolish girl. Believing in God and wanting to do charity work in a Third World land. Some people are just selfish assholes. The nerve.

Eh, I think parts of "asia" qualifies as Second World.

 

[cooleddie74]

Foolish girl. Believing in God and wanting to do charity work in a Third World land. Some people are just selfish assholes. The nerve.

Eh, I think parts of "asia" qualifies as Second World.

True, but I'm sure in MB's eyes she's going to leave him for some Third World hellhole. After all, she's not abandoning God and giving all her attention to him. Screw foreign countries. She should be screwing him!

 

[DonIago]

If she does end up going without him, I highly recommend that MB show his commitment to her by visiting no less than once a week.

 

[ares93]

In the beginning of this thread, and i'm ashamed to admit that this was my first Madbaggins experience, i actually tried to talk some sense into him. But now i'm just gonna sit down and enjoy the ride. There really is no hope for this bloke, is there?

If she does end up going without him, I highly recommend that MB show his commitment to her by visiting no less than once a week.

No, what he should be doing is come along and then bunk with her. Then he'll always be close.

 

[cooleddie74]

I'm sure he'd find a way to put a spycam in her purse. That way he can keep tabs on her without the need for messy Facebook monitoring or creeping about outside her bedroom window.

 

[Darth Duck]

"Oh, I've been thinking of doing charity work in (some country, sounded asian) with the church. I'd be gone for three months, maybe six if it goes well, don't know." Then she just smiled LIKE IT WAS NOTHING.

Yes. How dare she make plans that don't revolve around some guy she's been hanging around with and who she hasn't even got to second base with yet. The nerve of here.

First of all, I'd totally discounted her doing aids work as a possibility already. The reason she'd been acting strange was because of her sick disabled brother, NOT because she was going away.

People can have multiple things going on in their lives.

Well, I made an excuse and left after hearing this and came right here to ask for advice.

Oh, that was stupid. You should have confronted her then and there.

How can I talk her out of it?

You can't. You must follow her to some country that sounds Asian. It would be a) romantic b) helpful to the needy c) not creepy at all.

 

[FPAlpha]

Dude! Just get some balls and tell her you want to date her but fear it won't last because she plans to go overseas!

Get it out into the open, clear the area and see what happens!

 

[cooleddie74]

She'll probably leave twice as fast if he really tells her how he feels. That's the kind of self-centered, stalkerish stuff that would make a woman want to do charity work on one of the moons of Saturn just to erect enough of a buffer zone.

 

[Squiggy]

SHOOT HER FOR HER INSOLENCE!

 

[Chaos Descending]

In the beginning of this thread, and i'm ashamed to admit that this was my first Madbaggins experience, i actually tried to talk some sense into him. But now i'm just gonna sit down and enjoy the ride. There really is no hope for this bloke, is there?

I don't really understand this question. Everything he's saying is completely made up. He's doing this for our entertainment. That anyone at all acts as though this is in any way real really astounds me.