DS9 Caption Contest #49: Weyoun! Send in the clones!

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday Everyone! Wow! 93 posts in the last thread! That's gotta be a record.

First up to the plate, we have the "Plot Twist! Oh, wait that was real life wasn't it?" Award, going to:

Nana: I'm pregnant..
Alex: Wow, how.. no, don't tell me how.. oh,boy.hm..
Andy: I don't think these lines were in the script.

Next, we have the "Not always on his Game" Award, going to:

Garak: Right, we're not leaving here till we find those Jem'Hedar.

Next, we have the "Counselor in Training" Award, going to:

Dax: "Hey there, sport. Still feeling bad about millions of your people getting senselessly slaughtered by the Dominion? Would an ice cream cone make you feel better?"

Next, we have the "Captain's orders" Award, going to:

Sisko: Well--you certainly left the body intact.

(Garak-stiff topples over....)

Worf: More or less.

Next, we have the "Glad we cleared that up" Award, going to:

Garak: "Chief, why does Deep Space Nine look so...off-kilter?"
O'Brien: "Oh, sorry about that. Hold on a second."
*O'Brien adjusts the runabout's heading until the station appears horizontal again*
Garak: "That's better. For a moment, you had me thinking that space was three-dimensional!"

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Nog: "Well, what do you think? Should we help 'em out?"
Miles: "I have no idea what's going on. Are they about to fight, or is the little pod trying to rescue the guy?"
Dax: "I say let's place a wager. Who's in?"

This week's Shiny New Runabout, goes to an amazing;y creative entry!

Thanks to all who participated and congrats to all of our winners! Continuing forward, lets spend some time with everybody's favorite Vorta, Weyoun!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

O'Brien: I am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien, I'm very much alive and I intend to stay that way!

Weyoun: (softly) Did you tell him about all the "Torture O'Brien" episodes that are coming up?

Sisko: (softly) Lets keep them a surprise.

Weyoun: Why Ezri, you are quite a fetching young lady.

Worf: Excuse me while I kill you.

Odo: Wow! And we unlocked an Achievement too!

Weyoun: What is that?

Dukat: A Message. From Sisko.

Weyoun: I don't understand.

Dukat: He's letting me know... he didn't have time to pack...

Bashir: (near tears) But... I ordered Pancakes!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GOLDSHIRT 1: Up against the wall you command bastard!

GOLDSHIRT 2: You're going on an "away mission" that has no return!!!!!

OBRIEN (under his breath) Mutiny is scheduled for Tuesday you idiots!

WEYOUN: Amateurs.

WORF: Seven minutes in heaven Weyoun. Time starts now.

WEYOUN: I guess I did leave the gas on.

WEYOUN : Send a message to Sisko, "All your baseball are belong to us.."

BASHIR: Come on, you know I'm lactose intolerant!!!

 

[jespah]

They look like this. Gather up all the sex toys in the station and bring them to me. No reason.

Hey babe, whaddaya say? I've got a TV remote and I ... know how to use it.

George Lucas is just bleeding us with these constant rereleases.

This is evidence, yes, that A-Rod is really from the Delta Quadrant.

You call these panini?!

 

[Rush Limborg]

Thanks for the win!

O'Brien: First rule! Appearences can be decieving. Notice the bald head, goatee, and stern expression on the guy on the left. He looks like the bad guy. Now, notice the calm demeanor and friendly expression on the guy on the right. He looks like the good guy. But in reality...it's the other way around.

Guard: Uh...Chief? The guy on the left has a Starfleet uniform. That kind of contradicts--

O'Brien: What? Oh...well--didn't want to make it too challenging, now, did we?

(Facepalms all around)

Ezri: Well--verdict, Worf?

Worf: Missed a spot. It is far back on the right side, by the ear--

Weyoun: Pardon me, Miss Ezri, but...I thought the lady is to check whether the man missed a spo--

Ezri: You think I'm touching you before I'm sure?

Weyoun: Sure? Of what?

Worf: Cooties.

Needless to say, addiction to Mortal Kombat LXXIV transcended both sides in the war. Especially with holo-technology.

Weyoun: That...that reminds me of...of a place I went to, once, when I infiltrated Earth.

Dukat: Oh, really?

Weyoun: A giant silver sphere...with a moving-seat tour "ride" within. It was in a recreational park of some kind....

Bashir: Funny...I always thought caviar was green....

 

[Deranged Nasat]

O'Brien: First rule! Appearences can be decieving. Notice the bald head, goatee, and stern expression on the guy on the left. He looks like the bad guy. Now, notice the calm demeanor and friendly expression on the guy on the right. He looks like the good guy. But in reality...it's the other way around.

Guard: Uh...Chief? The guy on the left has a Starfleet uniform. That kind of contradicts--

O'Brien: What? Oh...well--didn't want to make it too challenging, now, did we?

(Facepalms all around)

I love this one.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

WORF: "Smooth as a..."

 

[Skywalker]

Thanks for the W!

Weyoun: "I've always wanted to try a Klingon massage. This is going to be fun!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks FTW.

Sisko: I can't see us needing this guy again... kill him.

Ezri: Worf, after all those years of serving with Picard, you don't know how to do a Facepalm (tm)?

Worf: Lateral thinking Ezri, why damage your own face when any will do?

Ezri: What were you facepalming (tm) about anyway?

Worf: Jadzia dying.

Weyoun: And that's exactly the sort of CGI special effect that will make DS9 Blu Rays impossible. Unless you join the Dominion.

Dukat: It's a message, Sisko's saying... If I leave you my baseball I'm too pissed to drive, take my keys and call me a taxi.

Weyoun: Too late.

Dukat: What do you mean? I said "You're a taxi!". It was very funny.

"Quick, tempt him into signing his season 7 contract before he hears how much money we offered Terri that she still turned down".

 

[Nerys Myk]

WEYOUN: Won't talk, Bashir? Perhaps this will change your mind!

BASHIR: Kukalaka?! Weyoun, you heartless bastard!

 

[Isis]

When the one toilet on the station became stopped up, the crew tried fixing it, but finally had to call a plumber...who charged exorbitant rates because he had to travel half way across the galaxy.

Worf tried directing a movie, but he was so overly meticulous that he went way over budget the first day.

 

[Skywalker]

Weyoun: "...What do you think he'd do if we vaporized it?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

^

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Weyoun: "...What do you think he'd do if we vaporized it?"

Weyoun: "It was a joke!"

 

[AdmiralGarak]

O'Brien: "All right, lads. Normally we'd go into a hostile situation armed with a small hand phaser capable of stunning an entire army or vaporizing a full city block. This time, for no apparent reason, we're going to use these pointlessly cumbersome phaser rifles. They do exactly the same thing, weigh twelve pounds heavier, and you need both hands to hold them."
Weyoun: "We are so gonna win this war."
O'Brien: "And nobody even think of widening the beams to hit multiple targets!"

Weyoun was always uncooperative during his dental check-ups.

Dukat: "Do you know what a bean ball is, Weyoun?"
Weyoun: "No. Why do you ask?"
Dukat: "Ohh... no reason."

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

Sisko: Ugh, what an arrogant prick you are Weyoun! Thank goodness you get killed off at the end of this episode and I won't have to deal with you anymore!

Weyoun: That's what you think now ... but are you by any chance familiar with the term 'recurring guest star?'

Sisko: Why, yes I am, but ... wait a minute ... does that mean ... ? *reads ahead many scripts* Damn it!

Weyoun: *evil cackle*

*The sound of a thousand keyboards pounding out slashfic*

Weyoun: See, I told you that would happen if you touched me! Look at the horror you've unleashed on the world!

Worf: *horrified* I didn't know ... how could anyone possibly want to go there?

Ezri: There are some really sick people in the fanfic world, I'm afraid.

Odo: Even though it's horrible that ship just blew up, the explosion is a strangely beautiful sight, don't you think?

Weyoun: I wouldn't know. You guys didn't give me a sense of aestethics. Or the ability to experience any kind of pleasure, really.

Odo: Oh.

*long awkward pause*

Dukat: If I throw this, will you fetch it?

Weyoun: Oh, I am going to hurt you ... well okay, maybe I'm not physically strong enough to kick your ass, but I sure as hell can order one of the Jem'Hadar to do it, so watch out!

Weyoun: Welcome to the Dominion's International House of Scones. Here, you get free scones, all the time, any time! All you have to do is pledge your undying loyalty to us forever, and completely betray your own people and the entire Alpha Quadrant on a daily basis!

Bashir: Sounds great! Sign me up!

 

[Rush Limborg]

Weyoun: Welcome to the Dominion's International House of Scones. Here, you get free scones, all the time, any time! All you have to do is pledge your undying loyalty to us forever, and completely betray your own people and the entire Alpha Quadrant on a daily basis!

Bashir: Well, that would make a "million-dollar bar" look cheap.

 

[Skywalker]

Weyoun: "Wow, look at that explosion. It's so real!"
Odo: "That's nothing. Wait until you see how it'll look on Blu-ray, twenty years from now."
Weyoun: "Please don't toy with my emotions, Odo."

 

[Admiral Shran]

Odo: Well, so much for that station. What was it you said to anger Sisko so much?
Weyoun: All I did was make a joke about vaporizing his baseball.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Dukat: "Are you kidding me? You can plainly see the stitching! If the station's master passcode list isn't hidden inside this sphere, I'll eat it!"