The Neverendingly Awesome ABRAMSVERSE. It's here to stay, BABY!!!

[6079SmithW]

OP, I TOTALLY agree with you in every way! I mean, sure, there were a few fun episodes of Trek over the past forty years, but let's face facts: TOS had horrible production values and lame acting. I mean, most of the time you can CLEARLY tell that the rocks are styrofoam and that the Enterprise is a model some guy is swinging around on strings. What was the SFX department thinking?!

And don't get me started on Shatner's wooden acting. Pine could out act that asshole on his worst day. Do it! Do it! Do it! You don't see The Shat running around yelling and physically/verbally provoking anyone who gets in the way, do you? Didn't think so. Pine's Kirk had the BALLS to defy any and all authority. Shatner wishes he could bring that smug arrogance to the big screen!

You know what else this Trek brought to the audience? Vision! After all those years of listening to Picard and company go on and on about social progress and conflict resolution we get a director who shows us the true nature and potential of our species: to be exactly as we are now because we are perfect as is. Forget all that politically correct communist nonsense about abandoning materialism and working to better ourselves. J.J. showed us how real men will act in the future: by kicking ass and taking names with a lot of explosions in between! Fuck yeah! Bad guy got you down? Start shooting and don't stop until he lies utterly destroyed at your feet. No compromise! Negotiation is for smelly hippies.

This is the future of Trek, people. Either get on board the Abrams love feast or GTFO.

 

[Set Harth]

B) Will they do the Wrath of Kahn all over again (but with kick-ASS special effects)?

They might do Space Seed all over again. Then they could do The Wrath of Khan.

But hopefully they won't do The Wrath of Kahn...

...whatever that is.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Okay, so we all know that J.J. Abrams came along and fixed Star Trek forever.

Yes, there were a few good episodes and movies over the past 50 years, but mostly it was crap. THINK: "Spock's Brain", that DS9 episode where they all play hopscotch, the TNG episode where Dr. Crusher's zombie mother comes back from the dead and tries to eat the crew, and pretty much every episode of Voyager and Enterprise.

So J.J. Abrams comes along and goes with all the ideas that I have been suggesting all along (and ditches all those lame ideas of the other supposed 'fans' ) and he just hits a home run straight out of the park.

Star Trek 11 just fucking rocked, hands down/

So here's what kills me...

These haters who keep coming in here and say "Chris Pine3 is not Kirk. Only William Shaner is Kirk."

Look, you people need to wise up. So Shatner played Kirk in like 100 episodes and 6 movies and 1000 books (don't argue that Shatner was not playing Kirk in the books, I could see his damn face right on the book covers, and he did NOT look like Chris Pine)... So what? Big whoop! So, what? He like owns the character now? Puh-leeeese. I don't THINK so.

Chris Pine has played Captain Kirk for one whole movie now and he rocked it.

NUMBER OF MOVIES WHERE CHRIS PINE HAS PLAYED KIRK: ONE!!

NUMBER OF MOVIES WHERE CHRIS PINE ROCKED IT PLAYING KIRK: ONE!!!!

ONE / ONE = 100% ROCKED IT!!!

Have you seen how many shitty episodes Shatner was in and Star Trek Five: The Search for GOD, and some of those comics were really lame too.

3798 / 5647 (episodes, comics, books, movies, happy meals) = 67%

67% is NOT rocking it.

So, nice try Shatner, but your day is DONE!

Make way for 100% KIRK = CHRIS PINE

Besides, let's address some other skeletons in the closet. We all know that William Shatner pushed Jeffrey Hunter (Admiral Christopher Pike) down the stairs and into the pool, where he drowned, just so Kirk could take over the role of Captain of the Enterprise. And then he blamed it on a drug overdose. (We aren't that naive, William Shatner. We have all heard the 911 tape.)

Plus, a lot of people hate William Shatner because he comes off as bitter, egotistical, delusional, and narcissistic. That kind of shit rubs a lot of people on Trek BBS the wrong way, because you aren't going to find people like that around here.

Lastly, the new Abramsverse has so many possibilities that the old Rottenbery-verse NEVER had, for example:

A) Will Spock and Uhura break up or stay together?

B) Will they do the Wrath of Kahn all over again (but with kick-ASS special effects)?

C) Will they bring back the three Kryptonian villains from the Phantom ZONE?


I am mostly hoping for (A). Think about it. You can't really do stories about romance in other genres. Star Trek is the perfect place for it. Science fiction tv shows have always handled romantic relationships in mature, nuanced ways.

Star Trek 11 developed the Spock/Uhura relationship on a deep, emotional level. I would like to see that relationship continue, IF IT IS DONE WELL. Don't insult the audience.

Lastly, another reason why Pine is just as good as Shatner:

Pretty much every movie that Chris Pine has been in (other than Star Trek 11) has been a piece of shit, just like how pretty much every non-Star Trek movie that William Shatner has been in has been a piece of shit.

Not only does that put the two actors on the same level, but it means Chris Pine should be free to do more Star Trek movies for a long, long time. (I mean, what the fuck else is he going to do?)

In conclusion, the above evidence should prove -- conclusively -- that since Star Trek 11 ROCKED, that Star Trek 12 and 13 and 14will rock just as hard. How could it go any other way?

I mean what do we know so far:

A) Abrams is going to direct

b) The movie will eventually be made, in the next two years or more.

So again, how can it not ROCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Because it CAN and it WILL!!!

Haters, let it go.

The Abrams-Verse is here to stay.

127 minutes of awesome down... 100 billion minutes of awesome to GO!

BRING IT!!!!

Fascinating, captain. Ship's sarcasmometer is not registering anything at all. Either you were being entirely sincere, or that statement was so sarcastic it fried the meter.

 

[M'Sharak]

B) Will they do the Wrath of Kahn all over again (but with kick-ASS special effects)?

They might do Space Seed all over again. Then they could do The Wrath of Khan.

But hopefully they won't do The Wrath of Kahn...

...whatever that is.

Perhaps you meant to link this?

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

If you think about it, how many actors actually became "the Star Trek"?

Not too many.

Probably William Shatner and Patrick Stewart alone.

Think about THAT for a minute.

 

[ITL]

Get UP-AH! (get on up).

Take it to the bridge, Sam.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Go on.. Take him to school!!

I just got SERVED!

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

tl;dr

vvZp;i[e0zl dsjfhzpo

 

[Bread]

I'm digging Cogley's thesis. There are too many closet gay moments in Trek for my liking.

 

[Pauln6]

That's what happens when you edit out most of the female characters. It gets lonely on those 5-year missions.

Even so, I was assuming this thread was meant to be ironic... subtly tricking idiots into thinking they is clever. Whoops, meesa been tricked.

 

[number6]

There aren't enough. TOS had more subtext than any other Trek series.

 

[Bread]

That's what happens when you edit out most of the female characters. It gets lonely on those 5-year missions.

Even so, I was assuming this thread was meant to be ironic... subtly tricking idiots into thinking they is clever. Whoops, meesa been tricked.

Isn't that a given for middle aged men who follow overweight/luvvie/journeyman actors dressed in spandex playing on the set of a big spaceship?

For this sums us up does it not?

 

[Pauln6]

That's what happens when you edit out most of the female characters. It gets lonely on those 5-year missions.

Even so, I was assuming this thread was meant to be ironic... subtly tricking idiots into thinking they is clever. Whoops, meesa been tricked.

Isn't that a given for middle aged men who follow overweight actors dressed in spandex playing on the set of a big spaceship?

Well, when you put it like that, even I have to admit that Shatner is no Twiki.

 

[Bread]

That's what happens when you edit out most of the female characters. It gets lonely on those 5-year missions.

Even so, I was assuming this thread was meant to be ironic... subtly tricking idiots into thinking they is clever. Whoops, meesa been tricked.

Isn't that a given for middle aged men who follow overweight actors dressed in spandex playing on the set of a big spaceship?

Well, when you put it like that, even I have to admit that Shatner is no Twiki.

Or Twink !!

But enough of this gay frippery.

 

[Set Harth]

Even so, I was assuming this thread was meant to be ironic...

The OP was entirely serious.

That's the scary part.

 

[number6]

Isn't that a given for middle aged men who follow overweight actors dressed in spandex playing on the set of a big spaceship?

Well, when you put it like that, even I have to admit that Shatner is no Twiki.

Or Twink !!

But enough of this gay frippery.

You can never have enough of this gay frippery!!

 

[Bread]

Well, when you put it like that, even I have to admit that Shatner is no Twiki.

Or Twink !!

But enough of this gay frippery.

You can never have enough of this gay frippery!!

'It's kind of like an innudendo trek to the stars'

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Or Twink !!

But enough of this gay frippery.

You can never have enough of this gay frippery!!

'It's kind of like an innudendo trek to the stars'

Thrusting ever onwards.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Besides, let's address some other skeletons in the closet. We all know that William Shatner pushed Jeffrey Hunter (Admiral Christopher Pike) down the stairs and into the pool, where he drowned, just so Kirk could take over the role of Captain of the Enterprise. And then he blamed it on a drug overdose. (We aren't that naive, William Shatner. We have all heard the 911 tape.)

I think you have to put an "allegedly" in there somewhere.

I'm just not sure where. I'm no lawyer.

After all those years of listening to Picard and company go on and on about social progress and conflict resolution we get a director who shows us the true nature and potential of our species: to be exactly as we are now because we are perfect as is.

I'm only sure that we're more perfect than the people of Gene's vision in one way: we're less mind-numbingly tedious.

 

[Set Harth]

I think you have to put an "allegedly" in there somewhere.

I'm just not sure where. I'm no lawyer.

We allegedly aren't that naive.