Voyager Caption Contest #62: It's About Time!

[Yeoman Randi]

Greetings fellow Voyagers! Time to clear the cobwebs and put on some new captions but first, let's announce da winnas!

Sometimes don'tcha just wanna hit those guys with a flyswatter?

Harry the Angel: "Do good, Father Lightbulb. Obey the rules, work hard, project a humble demeanor, and you too can stay stuck at Ensign for seven years".

Tom the Devil: "Do evil, Father Lightbulb. Act irresponsibly, earn prison time, take risks and be cockily overconfident - and you too can get promoted, find a wife and child and generally have a good time".

Doctor: "You know, Good, you could try harder here".

Honestly, i don't know why i picked this next caption as the winner. Something...just..made me do it. As though there was almost something....subliminal about it.....

"Aw. Well, you know, that's too bad, Resh, but... why don't you just sit back and
have a nice cup of I'LLMAKEYOURBRAINFRY until we get where we're going, 'K?"

I'm certain Jerry Garcia would approve of this next one...

Torres: "Watching a sunset as a Borg drone. As if things just couldn't get any weirder on this crazy trip we've been on."

God i hate it when people say this to me....

Tall Alien: "Oh, yeah? Well, you're ugly! And in the morning, I'll be sober, but you'll still be ugly!"

Wait a minute. You're telling me they don't already do this? Have you even SEEN Shatner lately?

In the future, Sci-Fi Performers won't be allowed to age, but put into cold storage between conventions.

Taking the PHOTOSHOP Award we have our beloved Picard screaming AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Machine Gun Picard Tours the Caption Contests

PICARD: Die Borg scum!!!

KATE OF BORG: Oops, wrong floor.

His next stop

And this week's Morning Cawfee Spew had me rolling:

Wax Museum of the Unknown Whatchamacallits.

Congratulations to all the winnas and massive quantities of gratitude to everyone who played!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


And now, without further ado, here is your new assignment, should you decide to accept it. Caption these suckas!

As always I'll let this brew for two weeks. Until then have fun, set a course for home and engage!*

*Actual date: Friday, October 7th*

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Ok, i'll be the one to post it...... i mean you KNOW someone's gonna go there anyway....

Janeway (thinking): Funny, Harry doesn't ask for a second cup at home......

Guy with hat: "How is this night different from all other nights?"

Both B'Elannas (thinking): "There's something seriously funky about this mirror."

Paris to the Doctor: "Who's the harpy?"

Beltran the log: uhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Janeway (to camera): We've replaced the fine raktajino they normally serve with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if anyone notices...

Harry: Ugh. I think this is decaf.

Female officer: Drink up quickly Harry, that green thing on your plate is moving!

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the win, Randi!

Woman: (to Tom) "And he's terrific in bed. Holograms aren't limited to predefined physical dimensions, you know."
Paris: "Ah... I see." *sulk*

Beltran: "Why does this dark and dreary place feel so familiar. Ah yes, my... career."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Tom os: "Look, it's not gay if you're screwing your clone. At worst it's masturbation."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Yeoman Randi!

Kim: "She just plopped some kind of...bean stew into my beer mug! Is this the kind of day this is going to be?"

Paris: "Well, you two make a very cute couple! Incidentally, has he told you yet that he has no sexual subroutines in his programming?"

Human B'Elanna: "I understand why you got the forehead ridges, but what's the rationale for you having bigger breasts?"

 

[Bob Karo]

Doctor: So, then it hit me! If I'm going to design a wife, I can leave out the free will. It's a fucking hologram!

 

[An Officer]

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick! That girl looks Seven kinds of illegal in a catsuit. I'm of a mind to serve her up for myself, no salt and pepper necessary.

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours..."

Okay, I'm off to wash my mind out with soap now...

 

[Isis]

Janeway (to self): "Neelix swears by his crockpot meals, but let's see how this one goes over with the crew."

 

[Isis]

Janeway (to self): "Neelix swears by his crockpot meals, and Harry'll eat anything, but I wonder whether the rest of the crew will be able to stomach this."

 

[Nerys Myk]

BOTH BE'LANNAS (thinking): Whoa, I'd be pretty fugly if I wasn't a hybrid.

WOMAN: He's a famous movie producer....he's gonna make me a star!!!!!!

PARIS: Doc?

EMH: Exnay...iay ightmay etgay ucklylay

WOMAN : (titter) He's bilingual too.

CHAKOTAY: I found where Suder stashed the bodies....

 

[Captain Crow]

Doctor: I tap this fine piece of ass morning, noon, and night so suck it Paris!

 

[Nerys Myk]

HARRY: Sure was nice of Mr Jor-El to invite us to this party. I wonder what the occasion is?

JANEWAY: Was that an earthquake?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Chakotay regretted it after he agreed to be the designated driver at the frat party.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the Win!

Kim: BLOOD Wine?

Janeway: Yes, I'm sorry you and Ensign YellowShirt weren't on a date, were you?

Ensign YellowShirt: Not anymore.

Chakotay: Chakotay to Voyager, Ensign Kim has disappeared through some dimensional rift. Important Question: Do we care?

The Doctor: They say I'm "Robbing the Cradle" but I say She's "Robbing the Holodeck."

Philip J. Fry: (off screen) Whoa, it's like that drug trip I saw in that movie when I was on that drug trip.

Guy in hat: And here we are gathered to celebrate the life of Johnny, who was boreded to death watching this episode.

 

[Finn]

Tom Paris: (mumbling in his sleep) No...no...Not two of them!...No...No...

 

[M'Sharak]

"You've finally settled on a name after all these years? Well, I guess that one's all right. I mean,
you could have picked 'Dan Brown'."
"What does he mean, Joe? Who's that?"
"I... uhm... tell you later."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win, Randi!

"Looks like eight, maybe nine counts of a Class-3 Littering offence, captain. Starfleet recommendation is to drop a notice on the homeworld informing them of the violation. Ensign Kim's been sent through, hasn't been heard from since. That could be a Class-J9: appropriation of Starfleet property, namely Ensign Kim. Another notice is being dispatched".

Tom Paris: "Why do you look so happy, Doc?"

Doctor: "I know who'll be playing you in the upcoming film version of Photons Be Free".

Tom Paris: "The biggest douche you could find?"

Doctor: *Smug knowing look*

Vhnori (singing): "Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? WE DO! WE DO!..."

 

[Mistral]

Paris: "So, Doc, what have you-"

Doc: "I GOT LAID!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

HIGH PRIEST: Bring forth the virgin!!!!!!

KIM: Why's everyone looking at me?