TNG Caption This #230: Fake Outrage?!

[LeadHead]

Hello and happy weekend to everyone! Hope it's been a good one for all of you. Anybody figured out where the thread titles are coming from yet? It's not Trek related so if you're thinking there, nope. Anyhoo...

Lets lead off with an award for "Knowing thy Enemy" going to:

Riker: "Surrender! Or I'll pull the real phaser from under my arm and vaporize you!"
Pakled: "Don't shoot! We surrender!"

Next up, we have the "Klingon Suave" Award, going to:

Worf: And yes, your boobs have firmed up.

Next, we have the "Better off Bald" award, going to:

Picard: You'll have to shoot me before I'll put on one of those stupid toupées.

Next, we have the "Technology gone crazy" Award, going to:

Wes: "The nanites have eaten through nearly half of Commander Riker's porn collection."

Geordi: "Half? And they're still hungry?!"

Next, we have the "Picard For The Win!" Award, going to:

Picard: Your concerns are noted but unfounded, Mr. Data. In all my years in Starfleet I have never lost a game of chicken.

Kudos to this inventive Photoshop Award Winner:

Riker: "Now you see it. And..... now you don't. And, now you see it--"
Troi (OS): "Will, I thought you weren't going to accept Q's invitation to join the continuum."
Riker: "I didn't. It's magic!"
Data (OS): "But Commander, you've got a holo emitter control in your right ha--"
Riker: "Data!!"
Worf starts laughing uncontrollably

Contest Crossover Caption

PICARD: Die Romulan Scum!!!!

ROMULAN: Uh, we're over here.

Thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to all of our winners!

The Photoshop Finals finish tomorrow! So don't forget to vote!

Sometime today I'll get us started on the last leg of the showdown. The Klingon Belly Laugh Semifinals! We'll have 3 voting rounds, the first half of the KBL's go this week, the second half go next week. The top 2 from each will go to a final round of voting!

And now, lets get on with the captioning!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

The Senior Staff is most dissatisfied with their Fantasy Football Teams.

Picard: (reading) Newspapers sure to be in style forever.

Picard always felt awkward when Beverly made him describe the details of his love life in front of Data.

Announcer: Point to Yellow. Final score, Picard 1000, Riker 0.

Beverly: Jean-Luc, he was worse than dead!

Picard: Spit it out, Bev!

Beverly: His BRAIN IS GONE!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Remind me to avoid any of Ambassador Troi's future wedding ceremonies.

GUY: Looks like French surrendered, again.

PICARD (with anger): Computer! End program!!!!!

DATA: Have you tried using a lubricant?

PICARD: Expelliarmus

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the Photoshop pick, LeadHead.

Data had told them about it, but they couldn't believe it until they saw it for their very own eyes. It was indeed true. Geordi was running a brothel in the cargo bay.

Syrus: "You see, Captain? There is no Starfleet nor advanced starship under your command. You're an undercover US Army Air Corps officer in WWII, on a secret mission to stop Hitler. You must not fail!"

Data: "How long has he been like this?"
Beverly: "I've been sitting here for over an hour since he fell asleep."
Data: "Perhaps we should wake him up then."
Beverly: "One more hour--I've got to see if he really snores."

New from Playmates -- Star Trek Next Generation action figures mounted on an attractive lighted stand, complete with pulsing laser!

Riker: "This better work. I've already been through 3 other hair loss treatment programs and my hairline is still receding!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the win.

Whilst everyone else was looking in shock at the giant mutant space toad Riker took a second to marvel at his own awesomeness in his reflection on Picard's shiny head.

Picard: Right... Let's Kill Hitler!

Waylan: Just because I wear a bow tie doesn't make me the Doctor you know Sir, we haven't really gone back in time.

Crusher: I'm sorry Jean Luc, I just couldn't resist after what Tasha told me he could do.

Picard: Fully functional...?

Picard: I got another fanboy!

If they'd had a device that could do that for These Are The Voyages they'd have been laughing.

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "Hitler on Dancing with the Stars? My God, we must reset the timeline quickly."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MOTT: This one is called "The Pike".

RIKER: I dunno, let me see "The Kirk " again.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Data (thinking): "Odd. The visual image of Doctor Crusher sucking on her thumb is arousing a section of my programming that I do not believe I have experienced before."

Picard: "Well, Number One, what do you think?"
Riker: "Meh. You can laugh at the graphics if you want, but I still say Doom is a lot more fun."

 

[Gary7]

Data: "When I saw the paraphernalia, I thought it best to contact you right away, Dr. Crusher."
Beverly: "Thank you, Data. I don't know what to say... Jean-Luc?"
Data: "I do not think you will get much of a response, Doctor. He is what I believe is called stoned out of his mind."

 

[Finn]

Tomalak: Trip died...

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Waylan: "What do you think? Hitler on Ice has been a big hit, maybe we should see that..."

Picard: "Yes, but I've wanted to see Spamalot for quite some time."

 

[Candlelight]

Picard: "Do it Data."
Data: "I do not wish to Captain, I believe my emotion chip is making this situation unbearable for me."
Picard: "Mr Worf?"
Worf: "No sir... I do not mind admitting I am... nervous."
Picard: "For shit's sake, it's not a big deal!"
Riker: "YOU give Spot his worm tablet then."

Picard: "This chap does get worked up over a lot of things on this YouTube channel, doesn't he?"

Picard: "Turns out... turns out there actually were five lights."

Failure of the exterior phaser banks on the Enterprise led to some drastic improvisations.

"Alright Mr Beltran, let me just add your tattoo then you can get on set."
"Wait, what?"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Doctors have examined Riker's head...and found nothing.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Whalen: "Wow! For a line drawing, that's pretty hot!"
Picard: "Indeed! If this 'Betty Boop' is a caricature of a real person, we should get the holodeck to conjure her up for us!"
Whalen: "Or even if she isn't!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Patrick Stewart reads the first reviews of Star Trek: Nemesis.

 

[Isis]

Although Data was bemused, Beverly couldn't help but hang on every word of Picard's recounting of the previous night's episode of "Jersey Shore."

When Picard and Riker appeared on "America's Got Talent," all three judges hit their gongs immediately.

Stylist (OS): "Commander Riker, I now pronounce you totally awesome."

 

[SmoothieX]

Picard: Is it just me Doctor, or is Data trying to cover up an awkward android boner?

Picard and Riker attempt to single handedly stop the anti-time anomaly in the Devron system.

Set phasers to coiff!

 

[Alrik]

Thanks for the Win, LH!

Picard: "Hmm. It seems an Edith Keeler ran out in front of a truck, was hit, and killed. Why is the even news worthy?"

Data: "Sir?!"

Crusher: "It's okay Data, it'll pass."

Data: "What will pass Doctor."

Crusher: "He had a three bean burrito for lunch."

Riker: "Put it back the way it was. Touch of gray my ass. I haven't gotten laid in a week."

 

[Gary7]

Failure of the exterior phaser banks on the Enterprise led to some drastic improvisations.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Should we wake him?

BEV: No, a man his age needs a lot of rest.

DATA: Well, at least wipe the drool off his chin.