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This is why I don't even bother asking women out anymore!

That's so crazy it just might work...

Or it could just make things worse. Yeah, I think I will not do that. :p
 
Just talk to people naturally without expecting something more right off the bat. You'd be surprised where it can lead.

Something that I honestly try to do, but I've been single for a very long time, it tends to get lonely. And yes, when I see something that could potentially be something, I do tend to rush a tad.

And no, the word "date" was never bandied about (I kind of paraphrased). Basically I invited this girl to lunch, and her response was "As a rule I don't go to lunch."

Girl is not worth your time...she's the type that thinks she's all that, so she can dictate who, when and where she "sees" rather than trial and error like most people.

RAMA
 
And no, the word "date" was never bandied about (I kind of paraphrased). Basically I invited this girl to lunch, and her response was "As a rule I don't go to lunch."

Girl is not worth your time...she's the type that thinks she's all that, so she can dictate who, when and where she "sees" rather than trial and error like most people.

RAMA

Wow, that's some armchair psychology right there. You realize that you're just judging a person's character based on only one sentence and a very rough description of the context?

That's bizarre. I kind of expected better from you.
 
Few people agree with me on this, but when asking someone out, getting turned down is a good thing. Without exception.

It is said that "the worst that can happen is they'll say 'no.'" I know from experience that isn't true. Women have laughed in my face, said things like "I'm insulted that you'd think I'd date a loser like you" and "that's my boyfriend over there. Leave me alone or I'll tell him to beat the shit out of you," and other things I don't care to mention; it's a long list. Still, it's a good thing.

If one turns down another's request for a date, it's really nothing personal. The prima facie reason is that we as humans can't choose who we're attracted to and who we're not attracted to. Beyond that, it takes more that mutual attraction for a relationship to work: compatible personalities and goals, similar interests, skill sets that complement each other... It's true that there are "plenty of fish in the sea," as it were, but compatibility is somewhat rare, and it's worth holding out for.

When someone turns down a date, it's usually because they realize that compatibility isn't there. While rejection hurts, and it may not seem like it at the time, they're actually doing you a favor. If they're not feeling it, but they say "yes" anyway, it will only cause bigger problems down the line.

Being turned down only means you're not what they're looking for. it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you're not good enough. Even if a girl actually thinks you're not good enough, or actually tells you you're not good enough, she's still doing you a favor. I mean, would you really want to date such a complete bitch?

Whilst I'm not disageeing with what you are saying, I can see the OP point. If all you ever get is rejections and you aren't restricting yourself to a particular type (before someone says try a different type). Some people have an easier time with dates and maybe get rejected 9 times out of 10, for others is 99 times out of a hundred. Or another way they get 9 date ouf 100, whilst the other gets 1 out a 100. Mathmatically it might not seem like a big difference. But when it actually comes to matters of the heart it can be a lot easier to take 9 rejections rather than 99.
 
Few people agree with me on this, but when asking someone out, getting turned down is a good thing. Without exception.

It is said that "the worst that can happen is they'll say 'no.'" I know from experience that isn't true. Women have laughed in my face, said things like "I'm insulted that you'd think I'd date a loser like you" and "that's my boyfriend over there. Leave me alone or I'll tell him to beat the shit out of you," and other things I don't care to mention; it's a long list. Still, it's a good thing.

If one turns down another's request for a date, it's really nothing personal. The prima facie reason is that we as humans can't choose who we're attracted to and who we're not attracted to. Beyond that, it takes more that mutual attraction for a relationship to work: compatible personalities and goals, similar interests, skill sets that complement each other... It's true that there are "plenty of fish in the sea," as it were, but compatibility is somewhat rare, and it's worth holding out for.

When someone turns down a date, it's usually because they realize that compatibility isn't there. While rejection hurts, and it may not seem like it at the time, they're actually doing you a favor. If they're not feeling it, but they say "yes" anyway, it will only cause bigger problems down the line.

Being turned down only means you're not what they're looking for. it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you're not good enough. Even if a girl actually thinks you're not good enough, or actually tells you you're not good enough, she's still doing you a favor. I mean, would you really want to date such a complete bitch?
Verily, there is much wisdom in this post. :bolian:

As for those things the women said to you... :cardie: ... literally the first time I've heard of such responses.

Heh, Compared to some of the shit I used to hear, Kommander's experiences are realitivley benign.

On two separate occasions I asked a woman out and was told to my face, "Do you really think I'd go out with a retarded crippled freak like you?". And the second woman flat out told me that because I was in a wheelchair, I wasn't worthy of being alive, and I should just go kill myself and stop being a drain on resources that could go to people who deserved them more than I ever would.
 
^Did you run over their feet or something? Wtf. Did you try asking out anyone who wasn't uhh... insane?
 
Few people agree with me on this, but when asking someone out, getting turned down is a good thing. Without exception.

It is said that "the worst that can happen is they'll say 'no.'" I know from experience that isn't true. Women have laughed in my face, said things like "I'm insulted that you'd think I'd date a loser like you" and "that's my boyfriend over there. Leave me alone or I'll tell him to beat the shit out of you," and other things I don't care to mention; it's a long list. Still, it's a good thing.

If one turns down another's request for a date, it's really nothing personal. The prima facie reason is that we as humans can't choose who we're attracted to and who we're not attracted to. Beyond that, it takes more that mutual attraction for a relationship to work: compatible personalities and goals, similar interests, skill sets that complement each other... It's true that there are "plenty of fish in the sea," as it were, but compatibility is somewhat rare, and it's worth holding out for.

When someone turns down a date, it's usually because they realize that compatibility isn't there. While rejection hurts, and it may not seem like it at the time, they're actually doing you a favor. If they're not feeling it, but they say "yes" anyway, it will only cause bigger problems down the line.

Being turned down only means you're not what they're looking for. it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you're not good enough. Even if a girl actually thinks you're not good enough, or actually tells you you're not good enough, she's still doing you a favor. I mean, would you really want to date such a complete bitch?
Verily, there is much wisdom in this post. :bolian:

As for those things the women said to you... :cardie: ... literally the first time I've heard of such responses.

Heh, Compared to some of the shit I used to hear, Kommander's experiences are realitivley benign.

On two separate occasions I asked a woman out and was told to my face, "Do you really think I'd go out with a retarded crippled freak like you?". And the second woman flat out told me that because I was in a wheelchair, I wasn't worthy of being alive, and I should just go kill myself and stop being a drain on resources that could go to people who deserved them more than I ever would.
You should start recording your conversations. You could destroy people with those kind of statements.
 
^Did you run over their feet or something? Wtf. Did you try asking out anyone who wasn't uhh... insane?

Before I had a girlfriend, the stuff I described was a recurring theme, of which those two examples were the most extreme.

I guess that means most women were insane.
 
Maybe this is just my ambulatory privilege talking, but is that really the normal experience? Because that's just horrible.
 
I really can't imagine it is. I mean, I can see that probably lots of women don't want to date a guy in a wheelchair, that makes sense. I could even see some of them being blunt and saying that's the reason why when shooting ya down. But, "are you kidding you fucking cripple, go roll yourself off a cliff and save some taxpayer dollars?" I'm not surprised people would think that, because people are probably the worst thing to ever evolve on planet earth, but to actually SAY it? Yikes!
 
I really can't imagine it is. I mean, I can see that probably lots of women don't want to date a guy in a wheelchair, that makes sense. I could even see some of them being blunt and saying that's the reason why when shooting ya down. But, "are you kidding you fucking cripple, go roll yourself off a cliff and save some taxpayer dollars?" I'm not surprised people would think that, because people are probably the worst thing to ever evolve on planet earth, but to actually SAY it? Yikes!

Well, to be fair, that only happened to me that one time.

What can I say? Some people are just fucked up.

As for it being the normal experience, No. That didn't always happen. Most of the time my "shoot-downs" cinsisted of "Sorry, I have a boyfriend, or husband, or both, but thanks fr asking".

It was just those two that stand out in my memory, for obvious reasons.
 
Randy, that is some seriously bad shit. I'm actually shocked because I've never met any woman who are the types to say those kinds of things to somebody.

The asshole trait is usually reserved for men, but in this case it seems some women out there are quite frankly, assholes themselves. I've known some women who've been less than honest about their reasons for not wanting to date or have a relationship with some men. This usually boils down to not wanting to hurt the persons feelings. Then again, I've often questioned myself whether some women do this in order to preserve the perception that they are a nice person and not shallow (when they really want to date a guy based on his looks).

All in all though, most people are decent. I live in the UK and whilst our current culture is filled with more people that I don't get on with than people who I do get on with, It's still pretty bareable.

I have difficulties with women, I don't mind explaining that. But my lack of success, although it's occasionly upsetting for me doesn't really impact on a day to day basis.
 
And no, the word "date" was never bandied about (I kind of paraphrased). Basically I invited this girl to lunch, and her response was "As a rule I don't go to lunch."

Girl is not worth your time...she's the type that thinks she's all that, so she can dictate who, when and where she "sees" rather than trial and error like most people.

RAMA

Wow, that's some armchair psychology right there. You realize that you're just judging a person's character based on only one sentence and a very rough description of the context?

That's bizarre. I kind of expected better from you.

Well, you're still relatively new.
 
Few people agree with me on this, but when asking someone out, getting turned down is a good thing. Without exception.

It is said that "the worst that can happen is they'll say 'no.'" I know from experience that isn't true. Women have laughed in my face, said things like "I'm insulted that you'd think I'd date a loser like you" and "that's my boyfriend over there. Leave me alone or I'll tell him to beat the shit out of you," and other things I don't care to mention; it's a long list. Still, it's a good thing.

If one turns down another's request for a date, it's really nothing personal. The prima facie reason is that we as humans can't choose who we're attracted to and who we're not attracted to. Beyond that, it takes more that mutual attraction for a relationship to work: compatible personalities and goals, similar interests, skill sets that complement each other... It's true that there are "plenty of fish in the sea," as it were, but compatibility is somewhat rare, and it's worth holding out for.

When someone turns down a date, it's usually because they realize that compatibility isn't there. While rejection hurts, and it may not seem like it at the time, they're actually doing you a favor. If they're not feeling it, but they say "yes" anyway, it will only cause bigger problems down the line.

Being turned down only means you're not what they're looking for. it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or that you're not good enough. Even if a girl actually thinks you're not good enough, or actually tells you you're not good enough, she's still doing you a favor. I mean, would you really want to date such a complete bitch?

I am astonished that for so wise a post you have not been granted your own starship command and promoted to Kaptain.

Heretofore I shall only refer to you as Kaptain because, seriously, this post wins this thread. :techman:
 
I've never understood the american practice of dating - let me see if I get this right? When you are dating, you can be seeing multiple partners right? Then when you are 'going steady' - you cut it down to one.

Depends on the person. I've only tried it once.

Yeah I don't think it's really appropriate to date multiple people at a time.

Well, my rule was no sex until certain so I was up-front with both women that I wasn't sure how far I wanted to take things. Ultimately neither was for me, but we never did anything beyond kissing so there might have been a little disappointment, but no hurt feelings which was the goal.

In my more recent dating experience I tried to keep it on a serial basis, but it was only a few months before I met a woman who I really like and who really likes me.

On the whole dating sucks and people who do it for years have my sympathies. I cannot imagine what that would be like as I've never been single for more than a few months at a time since high school.
 
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