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What's the most useless spam you've ever received?

Breast enlargement pills. I don't care what the media tells me. If I had big boobs, people would laugh. When I weighed over 300lbs. people did laugh at me for having boobs, and I wasn't even a B-cup.

I would like some breast implants though. Not actually implanted, just the implants themselves. Like, twelve of them. Years ago Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter had a breast implant fight on Conan's show, and it looked like a lot of fun.

Also I get a bunch of stuff in Arabic which is useless because I cant read it.
 
^ I got an email about those pills too. Or similar ones at least. Except they didn't even have the common sense to give me a link. It was just buy these, they are great, blah, blah...

But what if some poor bastard, god forbid, wants to buy it? At least the could have the decency to send a phone number or some other way of contacting them.
 
Viagra and the like, for sure. Given that I'm a girl and would never have much interest in purchasing Viagra or any other similar agent, these adverts are lost on me.
 
I got a spam email - "Miss Chicken would you like a larger penis". When I read it I found out they weren't offering me a more well endowed male person than any I have previously had the pleasure of.
 
I keep getting spam from a Christian dating site advising me that my perfect, presumably fundamentalist, match is just dying to meet me. Which is exactly what I want to hear, being an atheist and all.
 
^ :lol:

That's hilarious.


My 78 year old mom, grandmother of 4, a former librarian and nurse, keeps getting Soldier of Fortune-type weapon catalogs at Christmas. She has no idea why.
 
^ :lol:

That's hilarious.


My 78 year old mom, grandmother of 4, a former librarian and nurse, keeps getting Soldier of Fortune-type weapon catalogs at Christmas. She has no idea why.

Well the end is near.. She's supposed to be arming up.
 
I get spam messages telling me that I should go back to school to get a paralegal degree or a criminal justice degree. I just graduated from law school and received a job offer to teach in a criminal justice degree program. (The position lost funding, so I won't be teaching in the fall, but still...)
 
I worry about the ones offering me a larger penis, will they come 'round an implant one on me if I answer them?!

:eek:
 
I keep getting spam from a Christian dating site advising me that my perfect, presumably fundamentalist, match is just dying to meet me. Which is exactly what I want to hear, being an atheist and all.

I joined an atheist site last year, and during an update lately there must have been a permissions glitch, I'm getting spam from the site, from clearly...over embelished women pretending to be godless to contact me, several other members have had the same problem. Yup, camwhores on atheist sites, is nothing sacred? :lol:
 
Shortly before I graduated college I remember getting one asking me if I wanted to apply for AARP discount programs - yeah, when I was 22.
 
Viagra and the like, for sure. Given that I'm a girl and would never have much interest in purchasing Viagra or any other similar agent, these adverts are lost on me.
Supposedly, viagra will have a positive sexual effect on a females too, by increasing the flow to "that certain area." Or so I've been told by girlfriends who have tried it.

Plus it gives you blurry vision, making your man-friend more attractive.
 
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