Cap Con 72: Don't Bother Me, I'm On Vacation

[Nerys Myk]

But, first THE WINNERS!

YOU'VE GOT ME? WHO'S GOT YOU? AWARD

Archer, panting: I'm done for, Trip! Go on without me!
Trip: ...cap'n, you're the one carryin' me.

LOOKS LIKE IT TO ME AWARD

Archer: "It's not what it looks like! We were just wrasslin!"

HE'S DRESSING HIMSELF NOW AWARD

Trip: "Gaa...Cap'n..help...cough!..cough!

Archer: "Archer to Enterprise. We're gonna have to risk an emergency beam-up. Trip's got his head stuck in his T-shirt again. Have Phlox ready with some painkillers and a chainsaw."

DRIEST HUMP EVER AWARD

Archer: No, Trip. That was another mirage. T'Pol is on Enterprise.

Your Prize:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSAJ0l4OBHM&feature=fvwrel[/yt]

 

[Nerys Myk]

And now, this contest's pics:

See you in two to three weeks.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer: "Explain to me again why I'm sitting up here next to Travis instead of back there next to Hoshi."
Rostov: "Starfleet fraternization regulations, sir."
Archer: "Right...right..."

Tucker: "I don't think that was synthohol."
Reed: "Wha...what?"
Tucker: "That stuff they were serving in there. I don't think it was synthohol."
Reed: "You...you're not making any sense! You sound like you're drunk! Hey, you know what? I don't...I don't think that stuff they were serving in there was synthohol!"

Ravis: "By the way, you don't have cooties, do you?"

Archer: "I can't help wondering if a transporter could even beam that shirt."

 

[Finn]

 

[LeadHead]

Archer: Our mission: to make a Risa Episode that doesn't make the fans cringe.

Rostov: (thinking) You guys are so dead.

Trip: I can't believe I was safer being hunted on the desert planet last week.

Archer: It's usually a bad sign when "mystery Meat" is embedded in the food itself.

Hoshi: That's it... go to sleep... forever....

 

[Skywalker]

Archer: "Seriously, Travis? I would have thought someone like you would have a better sense of style than that."
Mayweather: "What do you mean 'someone like me'?"
Archer: "You know, uh...a Boomer."
Rostov: "Smooth."

Ravis: "Wow, you really do have a talented tongue."
Hoshi: "I still can't believe I fell for that line. It sounds like something some drunken hick would say."

Archer: "Are these cherry tomatoes? I hate cherry tomatoes!"
Room Service: "I'm sorry, sir, but that's all we have."
Archer: *pouts* "Chef wouldn't have given me cherry tomatoes..."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Ravis: "Okay, now that we've been intimate, I guess I should drop my vanity and tell you how old I really am. I'm actually forty-seven."
Hoshi: "I'm eighty-six."
Ravis: "What!"
Hoshi: "Pearl Cream."

 

[LeadHead]

Archer: Hoshi, would you translate Jomaharon for us?

Reed: At least we still have our clothes.

6 hours later...

Reed: Aw, crap.

Hoshi: By the way, I really want to start a family.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Archer: "I'm sure I clearly stated shotgun before boarding the shuttlepod."

Rostov: "I'll tell Starfleet to install two seats up front the next time they design one of these things."

Reed: "Oh my God!"
Tucker: "Did you get her name?"
Reed: "Something Dax..."
Tucker: "I can't feel anything below my waist..."
Reed: "Oh my God!"

Ravis: "Oh my God!"
Hoshi: "Did you get her name?"
Ravis: "Something Dax..."
Hoshi: "I can't feel anything below my waist..."
Ravis: "Oh my God!"

Archer: "I don't know if I'm eating breakfast or the flower arrangement."

 

[Bob Karo]

Archer (thinking): Okay, I'm pretty sure this is an eye ball of some kind. Now, I just need to figure out if it's supposed to be in the salad...

 

[Gepard]

ARCHER: "Over the teeth and through the gums, look out me, here it comes."

 

[Mistral]

Archer: "They gave me a child's fork. Breakfast is going to take forever!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Lieutenant: I'm pleased to say you folks are the first civilians to take the tour of Starfleet's newest flagship. I must ask you to respect that some areas are off-limits to non-military personnel.
Johnny Archer: Don't worry about it, kid.
Trip Tucker: Yeah, it's not like we're going to steal the ship and spend the next four years pretending to be commissioned officers.
Reed and Tucker: (muted snicker)

T'pol: It is called a fork. On Vulcan, we eat with them in lieu of grabbing at our food like primitive primates.
Archer: T'Pol, this is a DINNER fork. Not a salad fork.
T'Pol, faintly blushing: My apologies.
Archer: Philistine.

 

[LeadHead]

T'Pol: (over comm) Enterprise to Captain Archer. We have an emergency. Shore Leave is cancelled.

Archer: What? Your Message is.... (Whispers) Shut it off, Rostov.

Trip: Don't worry, this happened to me every Saturday night back on Earth.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Vacation's over folks. Pack up your suitcase ( leave the towels) and proceed to the next contest