Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILERS)

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I don't mind mindless entertainment at all. All I ask is that the film not make me feel like someone is taking a crap in my brain.

Fast 5 was mindless entertainment. I thought that the first Transformers movie actually fit into this category for the most part.

Transformers 2 was garbage that made me feel slightly nauseous and momentarily look forward to the human race's inevitable extinction.

I won't be seeing this movie. On the topic of Optimus Prime, though, I do think it is quite remarkable that Bay has been able to pull a classic character assassination on a giant robot from an 80s television series. There should be some kind of special award for that. This was true already in Revenge of the Fallen.

In the first film, either someone was reining in Bay's natural instincts somewhat or he himself knew he had to hold back in order to establish the franchise. But after the success of the first movie, Bay has been free to indulge himself, and it hasn't been pretty.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I'm struck dumb by the density of this post.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

It's no more stupid than saying that earnings = quality of entertainment. Which was the point. Well, part of the point. The real point was that your idiotic claim could only be accurate if people could get their money back if they weren't happy/satisfied/entertained by the movie.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

does anyone even go to the movies anymore? overpriced, filthy, noisy etc. i'd rather just wait for dvd

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Unless its 3D or Imax I do wait for DVD.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

^^^^
I'll go for big action movies as well, like Fast Five, Thor, Cap, Batman, Pirates, Die Hard etc.

I do wait for 99% of all comedies and horrors on DVD. There is a $1.50 theater in my area and the one comedy I saw last year theatrically for that cheap price was Due Date.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I haven't read the thread, but I saw this movie tonight, and I liked it.

It still had plenty of problems, such as trying to shoehorn too many historical moments into the silly plot, and too many stupid little pointless robots with stupid Hollywood personalities, but it also didn't have so much of the stupid humour of the first and especially the second movie. I'd say probably the best of the three, although to many that's not saying much.

But I went in expecting a big action movie, and it sure delivered entertainment on that level. If you expect anything more, of course you're going to be disappointed. It had too many scraps of plot stuck together, too many pointless human scenes that added nothing to the story, and plot holes and defying physics.

But the whole action scene once the Autobots leave was fantastic eye candy and action. Guilty pleasure mindless action that you couldn't help but enjoy. And Leonard Nimoy sweetened the deal immensely. By my count it had 4 Trek references, his robot looked like it was heavily based on him, and he made Megatron his bitch. In fact, Megatron did very little in this movie. You'd easily forget he was in it at all. Leonard Nimoy is the man.

And the camera work wasn't nauseating! It actually showed action shots for long enough to see the action, and from a great enough distance to see what is happening. There were almost no moments where I felt the camera work ruined it, which plagued the second movie (and to a lesser degree the first one). But there seemed to be less transformations. Many robots you wouldn't know what their alternate modes were.

And there was so much more taken from G1 in this movie. We had Laserbeak, Shockwave (who looked great), and everything from the plot was lifted directly from the original series, including the space bridge to transport Cybertron, enslaving the human race, and tricking the humans into forcing the Autobots to leave Earth. I'm sure it doesn't surprise anyone that the plot is from a kids' cartoon.

I was happy with the movie. Still had problems, but for an action movie, I don't care. It is what it is. The first half of the movie was ok, but had a lot of stupid character moments, skipped over the story too fast when it mattered, and just generally too much baggage that made some of the same mistakes of the first 2. But the second half of the movie delivered enough action to put the first half of the movie out of mind entirely.

So I liked it. I think anyone who likes at least the first movie would enjoy this, but it won't please anyone new who hated the first two.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I just got back from seeing it, really enjoyed it. So much better than the second one.

I liked that I could actually tell which Autobot was fighting in the action scenes, although the Decepticons were still hard to figure out.

I though the humour was good and more underplayed than in the ROTF (especially his parents, they're much better in small doses).

Also loved all the Trek references!

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Just saw it.

Typical Micheal Bay dumbassery - CHECK
Eye-candy wherever you look - CHECK
Great musical score - CHECK
Awesome CGI - DOUBLE CHECK
Boring - NOPE

What's not to like? Hell, I even forgot that I was wearing those stupid 3D glasses. Just laid back, turned parts of my brain off and enjoyed the ride.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I know this is pointless as far as plot movement and that goes double for a Bay movie, but I would have still liked a bit more than "she was a bitch and she dumped you" as an explination as to why Megan Fox's character wasn't still around...

At least in Karate Kid II, they take the time to explain that the girlfriend fell in love with some college guy, despite Daniel-san's badassedness.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

What really needed explaining was how he bagged a second hot chick. At least with Megan Fox it made sense in that shared experience kind of way.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Especially when he's pretty much an asshole douchebag.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I saw the movie yesterday. I liked it. I'd probably give it a C+ or B-.

There was a better story this time around with Sentinel Prime. It was much better than ROTF, but not quite as good as the first movie. Like the first two movies, DOTM was way too long. It would have been a much better movie if Bay had cut 30 minutes from it. Give rid of some of the dumb humor and useless scenes and the pacing would have been greatly improved.

The movie starts will a cool flashback showing the war on Cybertron. Optimus Prime gives us another nice narration as the movie begins. Peter Cullen was perfect as always as the voice of Optimus Prime.

They show a bunch of flashbacks of man getting on the moon. I didn't think it worked very well when they showed clips of what really happened along with new scenes with new actors. They should have just stuck with one or the other. It went on a little too long.

When we finally get back to the present, Optimus Prime has a small fight scene with Shockwave. We find out that the Autobot's space ship, the Ark, has survived and that it is carrying important cargo. Optimus and Ratchet travel to the moon and manages to find Sentinel Prime, Optimus' old mentor. Optimus brings back the robot and decides to revive him with the Matrix. Big mistake.

Meanwhile, we find out what happens to Sam. Apparently he broke up with his old girlfriend and got another hottie. Sam can't find a job and spends a long time looking for one. I didn't like the first part with him that much. The only reason we might care about him is his connection with the Transformers, which he doesn't really have until the midpoint of the movie. He seems to have gotten new Transformers pets which were an improvement on the Twins from ROTF. I really wish we could have spent much less time with Sam trying to find a job and more on the Transformers.

The humor was really toned down, much less of the dumb mother and none of the twins thankfully. There were still a few silly scenes but it wasn't such a big deal. All the scenes with Ken Jeong were annoying, dude acts like he is still in the Hangover II, but they are thankfully short.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was okay as Carly Spencer. She isn't going to win an Oscars any time soon, but she did a fine job as the eye candy. I thought the scene that she had with Megatron at the end was really dumb though. Not sure why Megatron just didn't shoot her. It would have made more sense if it had been Sam, who he might have respected since Sam actually killed him in the first movie.

I did like the plot with the humans working with Decepticon. It showed that there people could be just as bad them. Patrick Dempsey did as good job as Dylan, the agent working for them. I don't care for the actor, but I had to admit that he played a very different part that he normally did as the goofy love interest. He thought that the Deceptions would win and he was just trying to survive.

Sadly, Megatron and Starscream were wasted again. I disliked how they were both so sidelined in both sequels. Imagine how much more awesome this would be if Megatron was the big bad for this movie. Maybe he should have formed an alliance with Optimus earlier in the movie just to take down Sentinel?

The last hour with all the action in Chicago was awesome. ILM once again did a great job and all the visual effects were amazing. For once I could actually make out most of what was going on in the action scenes. Bay seems to have listened to some of the complaints from fans. There were plenty of humans getting wiped out which surprised me.

I thought it was pretty emotional when the Decepticons killed Wheeljack, the old man transformer, in the execution scene. He begged for his life, but they still murdered him anyway. Pretty shocking. I really thought they were going to kill Bumblebee.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Trimming 30 minutes off of this thing would have done wonders. There's lots of scenes of Shia just screaming or being a douchebag we didn't need, the whole scene with him swinging from the arm-whench thing was just toooooooo long, there's plenty of scenes like that. Him beating up his car, him being a douche at the security check at the government building, etc., pretty much everything having to do with him trying to find a job and being at it. All could've been done away with and this movie would have improved vastly.

But, still, I found it better than both of the other movies, mostly because it lacked the "just for humor" scenes, (the Autobots in Shia's backyard) and the skull-crushing and endless action scenes of the last movie.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Oddly enough, I found Sam yelling at the guards at the security checkpoint and kicking the shit out of his car to be some of the best parts of the movie. I think Shia is a really likeable actor, it pains me to see him in such shit all the time. We could still get rid of the whole job search, though, and save 20-30 minutes just in that.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

'Dark of the Moon' was slightly better than 'Revenge of the Fallen,' which is faint praise since by that I mean they at least painted the giant turd like an Easter Egg this time instead of just leaving it sitting around as is. I'd give it a "D+" grade as opposed to RotF's "D-." And before any thirty-five-year-old man-children who can't stand criticism of their favorite franchises start shouting "fvck all teh h8ers!" at me, I was genuinely hoping this would be a significant improvement over the mistakes of the second film which Bay claimed to have learned from. I liked the first film, and I was suckered in by the cool trailers for this one, so despite knowing that it was probably going to be lousy again, I still wanted it to be as good as the trailers suggested.

Where to begin... How about with the complete absurdity of the Decepticon plan and the (lack of) continuity throughout these three films? It's said that Sentinel Prime made his deal with Megatron directly, so did he wait thousands of years (from when Megatron crashed in the Arctic while searching for the Cube) until 1961 to finally try to implement it, since Megatron was only revived in 2007? If his plan was with the Decepticons in general, why the hell are they trying to shoot down the Ark with their new ally in it at the start of the film other than to just have a cool space shootout? If the plan is to enslave the human race and have them rebuild Cybertron, why were the Decepticons trying to blow up the Sun in the previous film? I'm pretty sure that's not healthy for your future slaves, though given the fact that Bay and the writer thinks you can just jump a planet ten times as massive as Earth into LEO without any consequences who the hell knows what they think would happen if you blew up the Sun? So, after the Decepticons shoot down their ally Sentinel Prime and kill him (because they're deceptive, I guess), they set up a trap by hiding hundreds of "Pillars" in the 70s and 80s so Prime would travel to the Moon with the Matrix of Leadership and revive Sentinel Prime... the same Matrix of Leadership that was hidden on Earth in 17,000 BC and not found until 2009 in RotF. So, how could they possibly have made plans for it to be used by Prime decades before it was rediscovered in Jordan (you know, the place that shares a border with Egypt just like the Smithsonian annex has a desert boneyard out back)? Oh, fuck me.

Speaking of which, why the fuck are the Decepticons and Autobots still fighting this pointless eons long war? It's clear that everyone regrets the cost enormously since both sides are trying to repopulate their nearly extinct species, rebuild their completely ruined planet, or find some kind of superweapon that will somehow end the war decisively for reasons that are never specified. Both sides have defectors that are just tired of war altogether. Both sides have principles they frequently no longer adhere to and just spout like platitudes. Talk about a Pyrrhric victory for Megatron, being the wounded absolute ruler of the dozens of incompetent lackeys you still have left after getting your ass kicked repeatedly (sorry, co-ruler with Sentinel; joy!).

I know what you're saying; "Why are you expecting continuity and plot logic in a movie based on toys, comics, and cartoons?" The suspension of disbelief comes in buying into the premise of a race of giant robots imitating human vehicles. It doesn't give you carte blanche to just say "fuck it" to any kind of rational plot altogether. Batman is an inherently ridiculous concept, as is X-Men, yet we expect more from their most recent outings because the writers and directors treated the subject matter seriously despite it's silly origins. There's no reason whatsoever a more compelling and logical version of the Transformers story couldn't have been filmed under more talented writing and direction, and still been whimsical and exciting at the same time.

So, continuity and plot logic are out, at least they can make up for that with good characterization, right? "Fuck you!," says Michael Bay while eating caviar off the ass of a Thai hooker amidst dozens of thunderous explosions (I''m trying to set the scene here).

Apparently not satisfied with having an actual robot girl in the previous film, Bay has decided to reduce Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's character to a one-dimensional series of parts which is introduced with a thirty second ass shot, who stands unfazed with flowing hair in high heels and a pearly white outfit (that remains so throughout the destruction) while buildings, bots, and people explode around her, and is described as if she was like a car by Patrick Dempsey, obviously standing in for Bay's objectification of women. As if sensing the reaction he would get for this, Bay conjures up something completely unbelievable for her to do in the final act when she just walks up to Megatron (who's just chillin' like a villain in an alley) and pulls the most obvious Kirk vs AI Gambit ever, yet somehow convinces Megatron to sabotage his own plan by killing Sentinel in about ten seconds, all while sparing her life for some reason instead of squashing her like a bug.

The Beef doesn't fare much better, being completely unlikeable in this movie. For some reason the completely disposable first hour and a half of this movie is centered around an arrogant and annoying Witwickety's (see, they still mispronounce his name three movies in for hi-larity!) job search in various Lenovo computer product placement ads. The guy is dating supermodels who love him, living rent free in a massive DC loft that must cost a fortune, was given an award by the President for saving the planet twice (which he never fails to remind us of), and graduated from an Ivy League university, but all he can do is bitch about how shitty his life is and alienate his girlfriend. You start to understand how Mikaela could dump such a prize.

McDreamy (I mean, McObviouslyEvil) is there so Sam has someone to rail against and fight in the final battle, and gives Carly the most obvious Decepticar in the process (I guess they couldn't afford to give The Beef one of those Energon detectors despite him being the target of the Decepticons twice before). He seems to think he was just locked into being evil by inheritance despite presumably witnessing the Autobots defeating the Decepticons publicly in the previous movie. Did that shake his faith in the hopelessness of their situation at all? And all he's doing it for is to live a little longer in a miserable hellish existence?

John Turturro is as wasted as an actor and crazy as ever, so that's no real change. Somehow they roped Francis McDormand and John Malkovich to be in this, just because. Malkovich is disposable, and McDormand plays essentially the same obstructionist from the White House character the dude in the last film played, except slightly smarter and with a completely unnecessary connection to Turturro. Señor Chang is there playing every character Ken Jeong has ever played, and for some reason Alan Tudyk is a walking gay German stereotype/personal assistant/ex-secret agent/superhacker. The Beef's parents are annoying as always, with the added bonus of commenting on their son's dick size and the need to learn to please a woman in bed.

The Decepticons act stupidly as usual. If the goal is to make it look like you're suiciding Señor Chang, why openly attack The Beef in the same office five minutes later? If you want the Autobots to find the engine part for the Ark in Chernobyl to set up your trap, why attack them with the giant robot sandworm? Why is Megatron hiding out with fucking elephants and wearing a hoody? Because hooded fifty foot tall robots blend in on the savanna? If you want humans to be your slaves, why needlessly vaporize and crush them, making it perfectly obvious they have no choice but to fight for survival. And yet, the human government is still stupid enough to concede to their demands to expel the Autobots. Damn you, Obama! Megatron is way too easily manipulated by Carly and decides to attack Sentinel Prime about three seconds before he would have killed Optimus. Fucking moron. And Starscream gets killed by Sam with a space speargun and a space grenade you have to stab him with? WTF?

The Autobots become bloodthirsty (lubricant-thirsty?) killers who seem to take a special glee in ripping their enemies apart in the most gruesome and elaborate ways imaginable like something out of a robot version of Mortal Kombat. Optimus straight up executing a wounded, defeated, and begging for his life Sentinel Prime with a double-tap moments after we're shown a scene where we're clearly supposed to be disgusted by the Decepticons executing Autobots has to be the real capper on the film (mind you, we've clearly seen in the first film that the robots can be captured and contained by humans and Autobots alike). Optimus using the death of thousands in Chicago to prove a point to humanity over the war the Transformers have brought to Earth and after Optimus woke up Sentinel Prime and caused all of this is especially unbelievable. Not to mention the fact that in their spare time the Autobots work for the US government killing brown people to resolve human socio-political conflicts.

The movie is just a mess editing-wise as well. The film is frontloaded with an hour and a half of mostly pointless crap, as mentioned. There's a heartfelt car commercial montage with Tyrese Gibson getting the team of guys we've never seen before back together, just so they could go "screw this!" and retreat before most of them get vaporized once they got to Chicago. Is there any reason Tyrese couldn't just still be part of NEST and not waste that time? There's a pointless subplot so Bay could wank over the space shuttle, because The Beef says the Autobots don't have a way to leave Earth. Uh, what about that big spaceship they originally came in that they took to go visit the Moon twenty minutes earlier? The attack on Chicago starts with a abrupt jumpcut out of nowhere. Optimus spends twenty minutes suspended in cables for some reason. Megatron is just sitting down in an alley for most of the battle. Half the Autobots somehow managed to get captured offscreen, which would have been nice to see how that happened. All so we can get more human action than robot action.

I won't lie though, the human action is pretty damn good, it's just too bad it was the focus in a movie that's supposed to primarily be about giant robots fighting. The V-22/wingsuit insertion was spectacular, as was the tilting building, despite being structurally impossible. I don't know why anyone would want to be a part of the NEST team though, since they seem to be killed by the dozens on every single mission and are always woefully underarmed for the task. The 3-D forced Bay to set the perspective farther away, meaning the robots were clearer and less a mass of moving metal. There was never a Prime in the forest badass moment, but Bumblebee's fight and Prime's Tasmanian devil attack probably came closest to it. Bay certainly can direct great action sequences when he wants to, I just wish he had a co-director to handle everything else.

Finally, historically, obviously Apollo 11 was nowhere near the dark side of the Moon. Also, in 1961 the guy who's told about the crash landing already has a model of the final configuration of the Saturn V on his shelf (which came a few years later). The lunar ascent module was still on the lander on the Moon. I mean, these are easy enough to Google in ten seconds, not to mention easy to prevent when you have the full cooperation of NASA on the film. Kind of a minor point, but it was a little weird seeing Buzz Aldrin, who has been harassed about being involved in a Moon landing conspiracy before, appear non-parodically in a movie where he's part of a Moon landing conspiracy. And I don't care how much someone fudged the budget, if there was a crashed alien spaceship on the Moon we would not stop visiting it and making sure it remained in our possession so we could reverse engineer it. Especially since the US government already knew about other alien visitations before.

Anyway, I know, tl;dr and all that, but these last two movies were such a mess they were easy to find a lot to write about.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I dunno, the bit with the guards and him kicking the shit out of his card could have been funny if Shia didn't crank his "acting" up to 11 in those scenes. He came across less as someone who was frustrated or pressured and more like some with a bipolar disorder going through some bizarre maniac phase with a good dose of Tourette's tossed in. There were a few other bits not needed, like his boss playing grab-ass with Bumblebee in that one scene where, supposedly, important exposition was being given.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

the 'cons probably shot up Sentinal's ship because the grunt 'cons weren't in on Meg's dastardly plan.

the impression i got was that the ship got shot up 1K+ years ago and drifted derelict through space and crashed on Luna in 1961. during which time, Prime had launched the AllSpark in to space, Meg's went looking for it (after SP missed his RV) and the cube landed on Earth, with Meg's following it.

since SP was MIA, presumed dead, Meg's plan in 1 of using the cube to take over and conquer Earth is still a valid one and the Meg/Fallen plot to use the solar harvester in 2 to create a new source of Energon is also still a valid one.

Meg's probably didn't know other 'cons had stolen the pillars when he was revived and only found out in the interstitial period between DOTM and ROTF, when he then hatched his plan to have the 'bots find out about the Ark and revive SP.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

The main thing I'd have cut would have been the opening flashbacks. As well as putting the viewer way ahead of the characters in terms of what's going on just about all of it is then recapped when Aldrin shows up for real. I'd have put the ancient Cybertron stuff in when Optimus is explaining who Sentinel is later on and had just a slight recap when Aldrin is talking.

After writing the review for my blog I've actually changed my mind about Megatron, I've really come round to the idea that any egomaniac who loses as often as Megatron does (or Lex Luthor, or Cykill or whoever) would end up a deeply depressed wreak.

Oddly enough considering the plot isn't what could be called in any way deep, it all does just about make sense. It's worth remembering that their Sentinel plan was dependent on Optimus getting the Matrix (which didn't happen till the end of the last film) so it could be used to revive him. They worked towards that over the years on the grounds they didn't have a better option to restore Cybertron, but on the two occasions where something else did present itself- first the recovery of the Allspark and the Solar Harvester- they went for those instead rather than being stuck waiting on something that might never happen. And when those failed they returned to plan A.

The shooting down of Sentinel's ship is more problematic in that it's easy enough to rationalise (the troops doing the shooting just didn't know about the defection due to it being kept very secret, inadvertent friendly fire), it's just a shame they didn't stick in a line to that effect.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I didn't want to requote this entire block, but I agree with this entire post.
I must say I was moderately impressed with the new chick. She wasn't amazing, but considering she had no acting experience, she did a good job with some tough scenes, and was better than Megan Fox.

That asian dude was so annoying. Up until that point, the movie was going along quite nicely, but that whole thing started to muddle the plot and make it feel like a Michael Bay movie again, and I worried it was turning every bit as bad as ROTF. I'm glad he was short lived, but it felt like one of those parts that could have been cut considerably.

It's a shame that Megatron and Starscream were wasted. Megatron was quite good in the first film, but Starscream was basically non existent. He was a bit better in the second film from what I can remember. But in the third film Megatron did nothing, and Starscream did little more than parrot a few generic traitor lines that were pointless and empty considering what he did for the rest of the movie. He could have easily taken out Megatron himself and taken the spotlight in the final fight in Megatron's place.

Much like ROTF, the movie could have been cut down quite a bit and improved, but the difference is that ROTF needed cutting all over, even in the action scenes which felt drawn out and pointless. At least DOTM hit the mark pretty well for the action half. It was the saving grace of the film.
Seeing people getting killed, a city destroyed, Transformers being slaughtered with "blood" coming out, it actually had some impact and a sense of threat that felt too forced in the previous movie. I'm not usually impressed by mindless action, but I enjoyed it thoroughly.