TNG Caption This #219: Worf, Son of Mogh

[Gary7]

Worf: (sniff, sniff) "Something smells... meaty."
Picard: "It's the new 3-foot sub, and you can get one at the Subway that just opened up in Ten-forward. Of course, you'll have to get your own--this one's all mine."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Okay, crossing series but...

Worf, to corpse; "No, not son of Morn you p'taagh"

 

[Isis]

Worf: "We've got to stop meeting like this."

 

[Nerys Myk]

**Click**

WORF: This is so going in the current TV and Media Avatar Contest!

KEIKO: Wait...what???

 

[Mysterion]

Picard: ...and it was THIS big!

(No response from the others)

Picard: ....THIS big!

(Nothing)

Picard: Nothing? Really? Oh, I forgot to mention that the first guy is a Naasican!

(Still nothing)

Picard: Naasican! Oh, come on, people...THAT'S funny!

Data: Please remove my emotion chip. Immediately.

 

[Mojochi]

Ooo! Klingon Belly Laugh award. I'm honored

Laforge: Seriously? WTF do I have to do? I can't even get gifted a woman on this ship!

Picard: (singing) A British tar is a soaring soul..."

Worf: Don't even think about it Data

Worf: but it doesn't have a vibrate setting

Data: It appears that Counselor Troi has enabled a lockout authorization

Laforge: I told Reg to delete those sexy holograms of her

Worf: Stand by Doctor. This won't be pretty

STOP SINGING!

 

[bullethead]

The crew's hopes for winning Starfleet's annual best Subways ad contest were dashed when Picard suggested reviving the old "five dollar foot long" jingle in a time when no one had money.

 

[Mistral]

Worf: "Nice women."

Geordi: "Where?"

 

[Isis]

Alex Trebek (OS): "Mr. Worf, I'm afraid I must disqualify you. Once the Final Jeopardy music starts playing, you are not to hit the buzzer."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "Note to self, the main target is a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use photon torpedoes."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Worf:It's been so long I'd almost forgotten what one of those looked like.

 

[Skywalker]

Worf: "Geordi, remember when I said you could come on this double-date?"
Geordi: "Yeah..."
Worf: "I lied."

Geordi: "I don't get it, Worf. What's your secret?"
Worf: "It's simple, really. I'm ridged for her pleasure."

Worf: "Congratulations, Mrs. O'Brien. I just uploaded this video of you giving birth to YouTube, and you've already got 10,000 views."
Keiko: "What?! I told you to call my husband!"
Worf: "I know, but...this was more fun."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

9 months later...

Worf: "Worst gift ever!"

 

[Alrik]

Keiko: "Damn it Worf, what are you doing now?"

Worf: "Sorry. I thought I would just snap a quick pic to show to Geordi. I don't think he's ever seen one."

 

[Alrik]

Worf: "Now I get what the Chief sees in you."

Worf: "Commander, are you sure Doorbell Ditch will work with this large of a group?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Umm...shouldn't we remove this small, metallic, ring-shaped ornament?"

 

[The Badger]

Kindly part your legs by two percent. No. That is too far. Back again...back...the other way... just a tiny bit more....there! Keep exactly like that. I know it is inconvenient Keiko, but it's the only way I can get a good cell phone signal.

 

[Alrik]

Worf: "Come on ladies, I'll show you what a real man is all about. Not like that punk ass Chief Engineer......he's standing behind me, isn't he?"

Picard: "...and then I told Beverly that I 'loved her thiiiis much. For some reason, she started dating Jack the next day."

Worf: "I'm sorry Keiko, but I am going to have to cite you. 10 Forward is not designated for adult entertainment."

Keiko: "Adult entertainment?! I'm giving birth here. You really are thick aren't you."

Geordi: "Welcome back Data. But what's up with having Security and Medical here?"

Data: "Commander Riker has been cat sitting Spot."

Geordi: "Gotcha."

Worf: "That's for not offing her BEFORE the kid was born."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Heh! I can't wait until the next Dabo tournament at Quark's when Roy Batty starts in with his "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe" spiel again!"

 

[T'Girl]

Worf: "No Keiko, I do not believe that we have time for "a quickie."