DS9 Caption Contest #29: Ezri. Ezri? Ezri!

[Rush Limborg]

Ezri: Can't this wait, Ben? I'm having Julian give me a physical evaluation.

Sisko: This late?

Ezri: Well, apparently, it's not unheard of for business to be conducted at a less-than-ideal hour...?

Sisko: Point taken...but how long should this evaluation take?

Ezri: It's...supposed to be thorough.

(long pause)

Sisko: I'll call back in the morning.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Sisko: Welcome to the Federation Shopping Network. As you can see, I've modelled this lens flare on my head. It can be yours for only 500 credits!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Ezri (thinking): "Must.... freeze time... must save cheerleader."

 

[Admiral Shran]

SISKO: This is my "Robau Look". What do you think?

EZRI: I think Robau ought to be working on his "Sisko Look."

 

[Nerys Myk]

WOMAN (At table in the back): So I faked my own death and gave the symbiont to some boyfaced woman. You've no idea how boring sitting around a table with those people was.

 

[T'Girl]

Ezri: "Worf, we need to talk. You left the seat up."

Worf: "The last time I was in there, YOU had left the seat down."
Ezri: "It not the same thing, you could put it down for me."
Worf: "Just as you could put it back up for me."
Ezri: "It not the same, I could fall in."
Worf: "Or simply look, you want the power of a warrior, along with the traditional privileges of a female.
Ezri: " ... "
Worf: "You don't have the balls to admit it."
Ezri: "I have the balls."
Worf: "So you admit you have balls, to go with that boys body?"
Ezri: "I see now why Jadzia was thinking of divorcing you."
Worf: "What?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Rom: "Ezri... do you like movies about gladiators?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

(long pause)

Ezri: What is it this time, Rom?

Rom: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII--don't get it. Why do people keep saying you look like a boy? You're clearly a female--

Ezri: (sigh) Rom...drop it. It's a stupid thing some people say just because I'm not Jadzia.

Leeta: You know, it's amazing how many people said I looked like a boy, when I first started dressing in non-Dabo-girl stuff like this--

Rom: That's insane!

Ezri: Yeah--so is saying it about me.

Rom: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut--people stopped with Leeta. They haven't stopped with you--

Ezri: It's probably my hair. It kept getting in my eyes, so I wear it short.

Rom: But, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...Leeta's hair is short--

Leeta: Maybe it's because I have bigger--

Ezri: I said drop it.

Leeta: I'm just saying...maybe Starfleet uniforms aren't good for showing off figures, especially if you're more petite.

Ezri: (sighs)

 

[JarodRussell]

Ezri: Is it just me or are the lights suddenly extremely bright?
Bashir: Yeah, I believe T'Girl is messing with the brightness again.
Odo: Someone has to stop her.

Sisko: You are the psychologist, old man. That woman has to stop screwing with the contest pics.
Ezri: I think it's just her monitor, Ben. It's probably not calibrated.
Sisko: It better be, otherwise I'm going to recalibrate her head.

Ezri: What do you think?
Worf: I find it extremely... irritating. That woman must not be allowed to further commit these acts of photoshop violence.

 

[Distorted Humor]

To follow the "Ezri looks like a boy" meme (Which is insane to me..)

No, I am NOT going to take off my uniform to prove I am a women Nog....

Ezri: Worf, I am female, just like Dax.
Worf: I know Klingon Worriors who look more womanly then you. Kira even with short hair at least looks female!

Kira Joke about Ezri being a boys name did NOT go well

Ezri: See Sisko, I am a female.
Sisko: My, you are...
Ezri: Can I go now?
Sisko: you said something.

Obrian: I swear, Wesley Crusher had more of a figure...

(As a note, I find Ezri to be but the joke had to be made.)

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kang: "Did you hear about the controversy over on DS9 about T'Girl turning the brightness up on the lights?"
Kirk: "Well, to each his own, I guess, but I've always found that women who like the lights on tend to be a lot more fun!"
Kang: "... You may have something there."

 

[Rush Limborg]

(As a note, I find Ezri to be ...)

Here, here!

Still...I'd hoped my latest caption would've ended it.

Satires, though, I like--provided there's the disclaimer.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Worf: "I... I wish I was half the woman you are."

Ezri: "I don't know what to say to that."

 

[Finn]

Ezri: "Worf, we need to talk. You left the seat up."

Worf: "The last time I was in there, YOU had left the seat down."
Ezri: "It not the same thing, you could put it down for me."
Worf: "Just as you could put it back up for me."
Ezri: "It not the same, I could fall in."
Worf: "Or simply look, you want the power of a warrior, along with the traditional privileges of a female.
Ezri: " ... "
Worf: "You don't have the balls to admit it."
Ezri: "I have the balls."
Worf: "So you admit you have balls, to go with that boys body?"
Ezri: "I see now why Jadzia was thinking of divorcing you."
Worf: "What?"

Sisko: How Ironic
Ezri: How so?
Sisko: Don't you remember that night you stayed at our place when Jen was pregnant? She sure was pissed.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Wait, Ezri is not a boy??????

 

[LeadHead]

Ezri: For the last time, Rom. I'm Dax's next host, NOT Jadzia's younger sister!

Worf: So, my plan is to go back to the Enterprise, marry Deanna Troi and laugh at Will Riker for a long time.

Ezri: You didn't see the engagement announcement that came through this morning, did you?

Bashir: Okay, I don't know why we did that Craig Ferguson Awkward Pause.

Sisko: Good, you're in your nightgown. Kira was in hers to when I called a few minutes ago. I win 20 bucks if I when I call Leeta she is too.

O'Brien: (Thinking) Damn, I'm married and Julian has dibs anyway.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Ezri: "Worf, we need to talk. You left the seat up."

Worf: "The last time I was in there, YOU had left the seat down."
Ezri: "It not the same thing, you could put it down for me."
Worf: "Just as you could put it back up for me."
Ezri: "It not the same, I could fall in."
Worf: "Or simply look, you want the power of a warrior, along with the traditional privileges of a female.
Ezri: " ... "
Worf: "You don't have the balls to admit it."
Ezri: "I have the balls."
Worf: "So you admit you have balls--"

Ezri: You're a regular James Carville, you know that?
Worf: Who?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Ezri: "For the last time Rom, I'm not a boy."

Rom: "Theeeeennn, why are all the Vedeks attracted to you?"

 

[Distorted Humor]

Ezri: "For the last time Rom, I'm not a boy."

Rom: "Theeeeennn, why are all the Vedeks attracted to you?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

Ezri: "For the last time Rom, I'm not a boy."

Rom: "Theeeeennn, why are all the Vedeks attracted to you?"

Ezri: First, those rumors about Vedeks and boys are unfounded--

Rom: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...but that one Vedek grabbed my lobes and--

Leeta: Come on, Rom!

Ezri: Second, even if they are true--

Leeta: Maybe her attractiveness to those guys made them re-discover that they were men!

Rom: Duuuuuuh--I didn't think of that....

Ezri: Makes me wonder, Leeta, why you never went down there to straighten them out. Opaka probably would've appreciated the help.

Leeta: Yeah...it's considered anathema to look upon a dabo girl. "Lust of the flesh", and all that.

Ezri: Figures.

Rom: What's..."anathema"?