Awesome.
Are you willing to enter into a polygamous relationship?
- Thread starter infinix
- Start date
Awesome.
Uncommon in Australia? I don't know a lot of cat owners, but they all seem to be indoors from what I remember (at least partially). I sure wish my friend's cats were only outdoor cats. A lot less pissing on powerboards and computers
As for the thread topic, I voted no. I'm not opposed to other people doing so, but for me, I'd only want to be with one other person.
My Miss Chicken is an indoor cat, she only goes outside to use her kitty litter which is near the back steps under the car port. My other two cats are allowed out during the day but a window is open for them to come in and out of. At night they are inside.
And my cats do not piss inside.
Well there's the second option, but that's from the male point of view. The poll doesn't allow you to be the singular point of the group.
First of all, I will say this: polyamory is not for everyone. However, neither is monogamy, which a lot of people can't seem to wrap their heads around.
Deciding to become polyamorous because of the "hey, more sex!" thing is probably a bad reason to get into it. I've only recently begun to identify myself as polyamorous, but I've effectively been that way for years, and "lots of sex" would not be an accurate description. Only once have I dated two women at the same time, and I ended things with one at the request of the other because she wanted to be monogamous (in reality, she wanted me to be monogamous while she was free to do what she wanted, but that's a story for another time.) Anyway, the sex thing doesn't work out as well as I'd like because I'm upfront about who I am, and most women aren't interested. They assume I "just want sex" and that I'm being a "typical man." Which, is not true. While casual sex is fun occasionally, I don't much care for it. I'd much rather have sex with women that I like, care about, and have gotten to know than strangers.
Any polyamorous person that claims to not experience jealousy is either full of shit or kidding them self. I am generally not a jealous person, but I do feel it. Like, during my vacation last month that I'm sure everyone is aware of by now. The girl and her boyfriend aren't open about their polyamory. While they are free to express themselves pretty much any place at any time, I was not able to to the same with her. If I wanted to kiss her or touch her affectionately, it had to be away from others that knew them. Even at their place, I had to keep things strictly platonic if her daughter or their roommate were around (I'm sure the roommate knows that, at the very least, something was going on between her and I, but still.) Rather than get all pissy, I dealt with it. I understood the situation, which helped, and I did have plenty of opportunities to express myself. Also, we kind of developed this little ritual we call "saying good night," which started as just kissing her good night before everyone went to bed, but turned into a code word that we could use when in situations where we couldn't express ourselves. We end our conversations by saying "good night" to each other, even if we're planning on talking again later. The point is, it's better to confront and deal with jealousy than to submit to in and allow it to control one's actions.
As for the "double the complications" angle: If I avoided things just because they were difficult or stressful, I wouldn't do much. And, well, monogamy is difficult too. It's probably unfair to say there's more problems with polyamory, it's more a different set of problems. Yeah, there are more people that all bring problems to the table, but more people also means more support. Communication is essential, which applies to monogamy as well.
Deciding to become polyamorous because of the "hey, more sex!" thing is probably a bad reason to get into it. I've only recently begun to identify myself as polyamorous, but I've effectively been that way for years, and "lots of sex" would not be an accurate description. Only once have I dated two women at the same time, and I ended things with one at the request of the other because she wanted to be monogamous (in reality, she wanted me to be monogamous while she was free to do what she wanted, but that's a story for another time.) Anyway, the sex thing doesn't work out as well as I'd like because I'm upfront about who I am, and most women aren't interested. They assume I "just want sex" and that I'm being a "typical man." Which, is not true. While casual sex is fun occasionally, I don't much care for it. I'd much rather have sex with women that I like, care about, and have gotten to know than strangers.
Any polyamorous person that claims to not experience jealousy is either full of shit or kidding them self. I am generally not a jealous person, but I do feel it. Like, during my vacation last month that I'm sure everyone is aware of by now. The girl and her boyfriend aren't open about their polyamory. While they are free to express themselves pretty much any place at any time, I was not able to to the same with her. If I wanted to kiss her or touch her affectionately, it had to be away from others that knew them. Even at their place, I had to keep things strictly platonic if her daughter or their roommate were around (I'm sure the roommate knows that, at the very least, something was going on between her and I, but still.) Rather than get all pissy, I dealt with it. I understood the situation, which helped, and I did have plenty of opportunities to express myself. Also, we kind of developed this little ritual we call "saying good night," which started as just kissing her good night before everyone went to bed, but turned into a code word that we could use when in situations where we couldn't express ourselves. We end our conversations by saying "good night" to each other, even if we're planning on talking again later. The point is, it's better to confront and deal with jealousy than to submit to in and allow it to control one's actions.
As for the "double the complications" angle: If I avoided things just because they were difficult or stressful, I wouldn't do much. And, well, monogamy is difficult too. It's probably unfair to say there's more problems with polyamory, it's more a different set of problems. Yeah, there are more people that all bring problems to the table, but more people also means more support. Communication is essential, which applies to monogamy as well.
^^ That was well put.
But Kommander is talking about polyamory and this thread is talking about polygamy. Being married and everyone living together is a different thing than the flexibility of polyamory.
Thank you. I'm doing a speech on this subject for my Speech Communication class in a few weeks, so I'd hope I can state my thoughts on the subject well. Which:
Kommander: "I didn't choose this topic to be 'edgy,' I chose it because I want to do a hostile audience speech, and I'll be surprised if anyone agrees with me on this topic."
Professor: "Well, you never know."
Kommander: (pause) "I'm not setting you up with my 'new friend.'"
Polygamy is a form of polyamory. There are many forms. The word "polyfidelity" is usually used to describe closed polyamorous relationships. In which case, the last two paragraphs of what I wrote apply. The problems involved are those of the people involved and how they deal with them, not the structure of the relationship.
It's not for me, but if people want to do it, fine. As long as they're all equal participants and there's no brainwashing or subjugation involved.
You're okay with that? You don't feel diminished in any way? A voice in my head screams that it should only be okay if both partners are seeing other people on the side.
Why on Earth would anyone want more than one wife??
Completely agree! Now, multiple girlfriends, sounds a lot more convenient!Mr Awe
I wouldn't even want to try an open relationship again, so polygamy is definitely out.
My cat is an indoor cat. I don't think letting them out is cruel (except maybe to your neighbour's garden and the local wildlife), but I'd rather not face him getting run down by a car, injured in a fight with other cats, catching some kind of disease or becoming infested with parasites.
De-clawing is unbelievably cruel and should be universally banned - is that even still allowed in the States? What vet in their right mind would perform that surgery?
My cat is an indoor cat. I don't think letting them out is cruel (except maybe to your neighbour's garden and the local wildlife), but I'd rather not face him getting run down by a car, injured in a fight with other cats, catching some kind of disease or becoming infested with parasites.
De-clawing is unbelievably cruel and should be universally banned - is that even still allowed in the States? What vet in their right mind would perform that surgery?
Nope, don't feel diminished at all. It would have weakened the relationship if he had had an affair, but this was done out in the open with my permission (that was a fun conversation for a reserved British person, I can tell you
)I'm anti-social and generally don't like people - how I found someone to love and marry is a mystery of the universe - what I like about the set up right now, is that it gives me alone-time while not restricting mr trampledamage's desire for close company.
Whatever makes you (and him, and her) happy, I guess.
Nope, don't feel diminished at all. It would have weakened the relationship if he had had an affair, but this was done out in the open with my permission (that was a fun conversation for a reserved British person, I can tell you
I'm anti-social and generally don't like people - how I found someone to love and marry is a mystery of the universe - what I like about the set up right now, is that it gives me alone-time while not restricting mr trampledamage's desire for close company.
That is a prescription for a happy partnership.
I am honestly surprised that no one has as yet made the joke about "polyamory" and an amorous parrot. 
