Thank you all for the thoughtful feedback.
I really do believe that people shouldn't give expecting anything in return, but I also believe in common courtesy, which shouldn't be too much to ask. Why bother to teach our kids to say thanks if the giver didn't need acknowledgment? It's not like I was expecting Gracie to send me a box of chocolates in return. All of the people I've given to have thanked me in some ways, and I do the same to others. Giving is a lot more important than getting, which gives us a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Being acknowledged or appreciated is not the same as expecting a favor in return.
Anyway, I won't stop giving because of some sour experience like this, but I can't help it if I feel disappointed.
Update: I talked to my mother today and told her how I felt about Gracie's lack of response. Mom did say that Gracie was thankful for the cash gift. I don't know why it took me this long to follow up with her. I guess I was expecting Gracie to write me an email, and when she didnt and Mom didn't say anything right away, I assumed the worst. I was quite resentful for some time, and recently that feeling resurfaced when I sent the watch and heard nothing. Still, Gracie couldve sent me some kind of an acknowledgment. It didn't have to be anything elaborate.
It is an difficult situation but
Gryffindorian I'm with you on a thank you would have been appropriate and polite.
With communication being so easy now; email, texts etc. it would not take long or much effort to acknowledge the gifts.
I'm still an old fashioned letter writer and enjoyed sitting down to write thank you letters for gifts and chatty notes to those far away.
As you say 'it's just good manners'.
Yeah, there was an advisor here who helped me get into classes I really needed my first quarter. I wrote her a thank you note and she was so touched by it that she's gone out of her way to help me out every quarter since. I've gotten into classes that I didn't have the prereqs for, that were filled. A small gesture can go a long way. I'm going to do something nice for her after I graduate because she's been such a big help to me.
When Son wanted to do Japanese at college but didn't have the prereqs for it (the only school that did the required exam for the course was an all girls school ~ I explained how he wasn't 'qualified to go there'
) But I found out the tutors name and emailed her directly. She agreed to meet him, was impressed with how well he had taught himself and he was admitted onto the course. Kumi San has been wonderful and Son and I are looking for a beautiful Bonsai tree to buy her as a thank you.
She is also encouraging him to continue his studies after leaving college and has agreed to help him, teachers like these are unfortunately hard to find.
Well done for taking the time for thanking yours
Kestra ~ I bet they don't get it that often
Sometimes, a completely innocuous act of kindness brings its own reward.
My aunt (this would be by marriage -- my mother's brother's wife) lost her mother two weeks ago. My aunt's mom was a "grand ol' dame" in the tradition of "grand ol' dames." I didn't know the lady well, but I always enjoyed her presence anytime our family gatherings crossed paths.
My aunt and I have a good relationship these days, but we didn't always. It was important to me to take a day off and attend the funeral. I got a very long and personal thank you in the mail from my aunt yesterday. My presence made an impact, and I might have said about ten words to my aunt while I was at the funeral and the dinner, yet still, my presence made an impact. I never expected to receive such a note from her. I just went because it was the right thing to do.
Take heart, Gryffindorian, people do see the good that we do. Sometimes, though, we don't always get to know that.
That was a lovely thing to do
Maestro, and your Aunt obviously really appreciated it ~ as I'm sure the 'Grand Ol dame' would have
My friend's Mum (sounds like a similar person to the Dame) sadly died last year and I went to the funeral totally glamed up in the highest heels, fishnet tights and with feathers in my hair. It was a day out of my life to show respect to her and her family and friends. As ridiculous as I felt (a couple of glasses of wine cured that!) I knew that Marion would have loved it and everyone, including my friend and Dad agreed.
if you give something, it is given and you longer have control of it. You only hope it pleases and wish that they take care of it.
