Not my fault you're 3 weeks behind now.

[ladyheather69]

I think it is incredible rude for your GF to have taken a call for that long. If it was someone she just *had* to talk to, she could have at least taken it and said she would call back later.

I have told both my children(13 and 17)that when we are out to dinner or with other people, especially family, the phones and all the electronic devices go away or I will take them away.

 

[ed629]

I'm a woman, too, and I have NEVER done that. I think it's just plain rude, and very immature. If I ask someone to help me with something, I would never proceed to spend the whole time goofing off by texting and talking on the phone with someone else. It's childish and simply insulting to the other person. He's wasting his time to try to help her, and now she's mad at him because she squandered all of that time.

I have lots of female friends who have high pressure jobs---in that THEY are the only people who can solve the problem. One works for a cancer hospital, for instance and another is a social worker. Their jobs call them all the time. But, if in a social situation, they will just look at the phone, make sure it's not an emergency and then call the person back later. The behavior may, however, be a generational thing. All my of friend's kids feel they have to answer every bloody text and call they get. One can only hope they'll grow out of it.

And that's why she is now upset and was crying earlier, it's due tomorrow and I still have no inclination to help her with it. She's lost a whole letter grade on the test because of this and will not have her late assignments ready either. Ohhhhhhh..... well.......

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I think taking calls, particularly social calls, when there's an actual, living human being across from you, has got to be the rudest thing around. It says, "Oh, someone more interesting is calling. I'm going to choose them over you." .

I used to think that for the first 30 or so times it happened. With the first 3 or 4 people. Then I finally decided I was behind the times, this was apparently what people do so I better get over it. Since I only got a cell phone a couple years ago being behind the times seemed likely.

I have one friend that when she gets a call if we are out for coffee together I just pull out a book and read it. You would think this was get-a-clue material but no, she keeps yapping away.

 

[DonIago]

I remember being particularly put-off when I'd flown to Phoenix to visit a friend and we'd apparently run out of things to say for the time-being...but then a friend of his called him, he picked up -while driving- and starts yapping away excitedly. Then he hangs up and we're back to near-complete silence.

It really gave off the impression that he would have traded me for his phone-friend in a heartbeat.

I felt compelled to ask whether I'd done something to piss him off, because if I was being that quiet when I had a guest around and wasn't apologizing for not saying anything, the only other likely explanation would be that I was angry at them for something.

 

[Kitty Worrier]

And that's why she is now upset and was crying earlier, it's due tomorrow and I still have no inclination to help her with it. She's lost a whole letter grade on the test because of this and will not have her late assignments ready either. Ohhhhhhh..... well.......

Sounds like she likes to procrastinate big time, and likes to blame you when the deadline nears. May be worth explaining to her that it's hard to help her when she spends so much time doing other stuff and not working on the homework.

In the end, it's her fault she's so far behind, not yours.

I just cannot believe she was on the phone that long. I would have given her an indication at 10 minutes that I was leaving or that the person calling should come over.

 

[Amaris]

When I am taking a quick call, I am constantly aware of the fact that my guest is waiting for me to hang up so that he or she may continue to have my attention. To do otherwise is just rude. Someone who does this either don't care, or simply is not aware. Neither one speaks well of that person.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

You know I'm sure many say this is a condition of youth but the worst offender I've been friends with was in her 50's. She spent every lunch we had together answering the phone, reading texts and telling me about them and sending texts. That was what led me to conclude that this was just the way things are done these days.

I've never behaved like this though because besides being rude I HATE the phone. Any phone.

 

[Saga]

well, math is hard . as for your gf, my advice to her is to start drinking heavily.

 

[propita]

Women (and I speak as one) do this sort of social multitasking with each other constantly. Some are worse than others, but I think we're sorta hardwired to do it as a gender, and technology only makes it easier. So while I agree with you that she was being totally rude, keep in mind that she may not have intended it that way and might be really surprised by your reaction.

Uh, no (and I speak as a woman, too). This is not “social multitasking.” This is rudeness, procrastination, denial, and assholiness. He’s already told her that he didn’t like her going off when she had asked for his help. So she knew he didn’t like it but did it anyway. And then she’ll blame him? He’s lucky she’s just his GF. Drop her now.

I'm a woman, too, and I have NEVER done that. I think it's just plain rude, and very immature. If I ask someone to help me with something, I would never proceed to spend the whole time goofing off by texting and talking on the phone with someone else. It's childish and simply insulting to the other person. He's wasting his time to try to help her, and now she's mad at him because she squandered all of that time.

I have lots of female friends who have high pressure jobs---in that THEY are the only people who can solve the problem. One works for a cancer hospital, for instance and another is a social worker. Their jobs call them all the time. But, if in a social situation, they will just look at the phone, make sure it's not an emergency and then call the person back later. The behavior may, however, be a generational thing. All my of friend's kids feel they have to answer every bloody text and call they get. One can only hope they'll grow out of it.

And that's why she is now upset and was crying earlier, it's due tomorrow and I still have no inclination to help her with it. She's lost a whole letter grade on the test because of this and will not have her late assignments ready either. Ohhhhhhh..... well.......

Do NOT give in. Geez, can you imagine being married to this girl? Anytime she doesn’t like something she has to do, she’ll try to stick you with it and then blame you if it’s not to her liking. Again, drop her. Drop her like a rock.

 

[Nowhere Man]

You know I'm sure many say this is a condition of youth but the worst offender I've been friends with was in her 50's. She spent every lunch we had together answering the phone, reading texts and telling me about them and sending texts. That was what led me to conclude that this was just the way things are done these days.

I've never behaved like this though because besides being rude I HATE the phone. Any phone.

Cell phones, facebook, twitter and such used to be all about the youth. This is no longer true, it's all across the board now. I sympathise, I think it's rude too, but it happens so frequently that I just ignore it. Like i said before, it's easier to just help the girl and get laid than hear about how much of an asshole you are for the rest of your life.

 

[ed629]

Women (and I speak as one) do this sort of social multitasking with each other constantly. Some are worse than others, but I think we're sorta hardwired to do it as a gender, and technology only makes it easier. So while I agree with you that she was being totally rude, keep in mind that she may not have intended it that way and might be really surprised by your reaction.

Uh, no (and I speak as a woman, too). This is not “social multitasking.” This is rudeness, procrastination, denial, and assholiness. He’s already told her that he didn’t like her going off when she had asked for his help. So she knew he didn’t like it but did it anyway. And then she’ll blame him? He’s lucky she’s just his GF. Drop her now.

I'm a woman, too, and I have NEVER done that. I think it's just plain rude, and very immature. If I ask someone to help me with something, I would never proceed to spend the whole time goofing off by texting and talking on the phone with someone else. It's childish and simply insulting to the other person. He's wasting his time to try to help her, and now she's mad at him because she squandered all of that time.

I have lots of female friends who have high pressure jobs---in that THEY are the only people who can solve the problem. One works for a cancer hospital, for instance and another is a social worker. Their jobs call them all the time. But, if in a social situation, they will just look at the phone, make sure it's not an emergency and then call the person back later. The behavior may, however, be a generational thing. All my of friend's kids feel they have to answer every bloody text and call they get. One can only hope they'll grow out of it.

And that's why she is now upset and was crying earlier, it's due tomorrow and I still have no inclination to help her with it. She's lost a whole letter grade on the test because of this and will not have her late assignments ready either. Ohhhhhhh..... well.......

Do NOT give in. Geez, can you imagine being married to this girl? Anytime she doesn’t like something she has to do, she’ll try to stick you with it and then blame you if it’s not to her liking. Again, drop her. Drop her like a rock.

I haven't, and not going to. I told her she fucked around while I was trying to help her with it, and she's on her own for that assignment as well as the other assignments she was fucking around on instead of working when I was helping her on. So she is going to lose credit for 3 weeks of homework.

The real stickler is she has fully admitted that she would of failed a few classes by now if it wasn't for my help. Last semester I took Calculus, Astronomy (with a prof that has around a 50% failure rate and teaches like an advanced physics class), Bio, and a difficult education course and got on the Dean's List, all the while helping her with her courses, in effect almost doubling my course load with the help I give.

 

[Kestra]

Possibly you should not have established this as a routine thing. Or at the very least, acknowledge how you contributed to this situation instead of just recounting all the ways she's screwed. She shouldn't have been rude but you shouldn't have reinforced some of these expectations either.

 

[ed629]

Possibly you should not have established this as a routine thing. Or at the very least, acknowledge how you contributed to this situation instead of just recounting all the ways she's screwed. She shouldn't have been rude but you shouldn't have reinforced some of these expectations either.

It's only this semester she's done this type of thing, previously she wouldn't things like that when it came to helping with her school work. She would do her work and I would help her as needed.

 

[Kestra]

Okay, that's definitely a different situation so I appreciate the explanation. I really think you should just sit down and have a talk about this. Honestly, even if she wasn't being rude, it doesn't seem like a long-term solution for you to help her through everything. She should be doing coursework appropriate to her abilities.

 

[propita]

Damn, Kestra! You are waaaay nicer than I would be, and I helped literally 20-25 people pass law school (or so they all told me at graduation), never to hear from them again.

Ed doesn’t seem to be asking for undying gratitude (neither was I, which is why I’m not upset that I don’t hear from these people), but some respect and politeness, particularly at the time the help is being given, is due. At least I got that--and some verbal thanks and a few Starbucks gift cards.

 

[ed629]

Damn, Kestra! You are waaaay nicer than I would be, and I helped literally 20-25 people pass law school (or so they all told me at graduation), never to hear from them again.

Ed doesn’t seem to be asking for undying gratitude (neither was I, which is why I’m not upset that I don’t hear from these people), but some respect and politeness, particularly at the time the help is being given, is due. At least I got that--and some verbal thanks and a few Starbucks gift cards.

Just pretty much what you said, or at the very least, not cut me off mid-sentence to take a call and walk off for an hour without saying anything...

... and she did it again today, fucked around and didn't finish an assignment, which is to answer three questions and submit 3 questions to be used for an essay. She had hysterics because I wouldn't rush and help her finish it, she didn't know where to start on answering the questions and then went into hysterics over it.

 

[DonIago]

Wow. How old is she?

 

[An Officer]

You seem to have an excellent opinion of your girlfriend.

 

[LunarYoma]

the sex must be really good if you stuck with her for this long.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Do NOT give in.

Fight her on the beaches!!