Breastfeeding toddlers

[Miss Chicken]

I have just finished reading Room by Emma Donaghue. In this novel five year old Jack and his Ma has been locked up in a single room all his life. He is still being breastfed by his mother.

After reading the book I went over and read some of the comments about the book on Amazon. Some of the people thought that the idea of a 5 year old breastfeeding was disgusting

And yeah, the breast-feeding. I think it was even grosser than it had to be for two reasons: it's a boy and a mom (I dunno, somehow slightly more sexualized to think of a little boy suckling a breast than a little girl his age); and the calling it "creamy" was revolting!

The near constant references to breast feeding were just too icky for me

And enough with the breast-feeding!

And what was with the fixation on breast-feeding? We got the hint early on, she let him breast feed at 5. Did she have to tell us every 5 pages that he wanted another drink? Very repetitive, very boring, and kind of gross.

BTW it wasn't every 5 pages, nowhere near that.

I went to YouTube and found a video of a Portuguese woman who was breastfeeding her son aged 3.5 years. She said he weaned himself before he turned four. Some of the comments included

Wait - this kid is 3 years old? Thats just fucked up.
And you cant argue thats its more nutritional - its not; its just creepy.

No Child that old should be breast fed..period.. That is just vile & disturbing!

when all babies are ready to walk it should be no more breast feeding

If you were a man you would have been thrown in jail for at least 25 years and registered as a child molester, but somehow, as women, there are never anything that you do that can be even considered illegal.

There were some positive comments and even more middle-of-the-road comments.



So I am asking people here - what would be the latest age that you would feel comfortable with seeing a child breastfeed?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

So I am asking people here - what would be the latest age that you would feel comfortable with seeing a child breastfeed?

The latest age I feel comfortable is about 3 and 1/2, though if the child is really big or really tiny this influences my level of comfort. Once they get to 4 they have less of that fattish baby face, are less toddler-y, and my comfort level goes down.

However I think it's fine to breastfeed to 5 or so, I try not to base my judgment of "right or wrong" on my personal comfort levels which are influenced by all kinds of things having nothing to do with the mom and her choices.

I've known a lot of long term breastfeeders, some of whom I knew 20 years ago.. and those 5 year olds at the teat are now adults.. and no one is scarred, LOL. I also don't think it adds any special closeness that magically makes for a better adult.

 

[BlobVanDam]

I don't find it disgusting, but I do think that 5 is too old and getting weird to be breastfeeding. I don't think there are any worthwhile benefits by that stage. But I'm a 25 year old male, so my opinion isn't worth much here. I think 2 is a reasonable age, with 3 being the limit of what I would consider "normal".

I recall seeing a news story with some girls who were at least 7, and still breastfeeding. Now THAT was downright creepy (although mostly because of the way the kids spoke of it, not specifically because they were still breastfeeding).

 

[Deckerd]

But I'm a 25 year old male, so my opinion isn't worth much here.

Well said, you. Most people who opine on this topic have never breastfed and never will, which doesn't stop them from airing their opinions. Humans are never weirder than when they are trying to justify their unequal struggle to balance breasts as sexual objects against their biological function.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I have a friend who is still breastfeeding her 22 month old daughter and she told me she has had quite of bit of pressure to wean her child even though her daughter looks slightly younger than 22 months (she looks around 18 months IMO). I was surprised to hear that some people disapprove of her breastfeeding a child of this age.

I don't think I would be uncomfortable with seeing any child breastfeed until about 4 i.e around the time they start preschool though I know that is just cultural conditioning. There are cultures that consider it normal to breastfeed a 5 year old so really it is probably quite normal behaviour.

 

[BlobVanDam]

But I'm a 25 year old male, so my opinion isn't worth much here.

Well said, you. Most people who opine on this topic have never breastfed and never will, which doesn't stop them from airing their opinions. Humans are never weirder than when they are trying to justify their unequal struggle to balance breasts as sexual objects against their biological function.

Well for me the sexual aspect doesn't factor into my opinion. My opinion here is merely a gauge of what I feel has become socially accepted, rather than based on any objective evidence, but the original question was about the latest age we would feel comfortable seeing a child breastfed, so my opinion is still valid to the topic whether or not I am female and will ever breastfeed.

Whether or not it is biologically beneficial to be breastfeeding at an older age is not an issue I would argue, and I won't claim to have any right to an opinion on.

So I'm not trying to state what's right or wrong, or enforce my personal views on anyone, I'm just giving my opinion on the subject for the sake of diverse answers from all people.

 

[Roger Wilco]

I'm not comfortable with seeing breastfeeding, period. That said, why would you continue to breastfeed a child that can eat solid food already? I'm pretty sure that at least in some cases women do that because it feels good for themselves and because of the child. Letting a child decide for him/herself when to stop breastfeeding sounds like ridiculous hippie nonsense to me.

[disclaimer, I don't have or ever want to have children]

 

[Deckerd]

Well for me the sexual aspect doesn't factor into my opinion. My opinion here is merely a gauge of what I feel has become socially accepted, rather than based on any objective evidence, but the original question was about the latest age we would feel comfortable seeing a child breastfed, so my opinion is still valid to the topic whether or not I am female and will ever breastfeed.

I was only approving of your untypically honest caveat on your opinion, not that you had one since that's what the OP was aking for.

This topic runs along the same lines as everything else that is nobody's business but the individuals involved. It's especially sensitive since there are so many people who have Wilco here's gut reaction. Women shouldn't feel like monsters just because of other people's problems with breastfeeding, in the same way as gay people shouldn't feel like monsters because of other people's problems with homosexuality.

 

[Roger Wilco]

I'm not saying breastfeeding mothers should feel like monsters, only that seeing it makes me uncomfortable; but many things people do make me uncomfortable, doesn't mean I would support forbidding them.

 

[Mary Ann]

I'm not saying breastfeeding mothers should feel like monsters, only that seeing it makes me uncomfortable; but many things people do make me uncomfortable, doesn't mean I would support forbidding them.

If only most other people who feel uncomfortable around breastfeeding mothers had your attitude and didn't resort to crassness and stupidity by telling the mothers they should be feeding their baby in the toilets or something along those lines. I salute you.

Most children I know who were allowed to wean themselves did so before the age of 3. If mother and child are happy, what's the problem?

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I have no real business being in this conversation, but I'd say that once they have all their teeth and are capable of eating food, it's time to consider weening them.

 

[Mary Ann]

I have no real business being in this conversation, but I'd say that once they have all their teeth and are capable of eating food, it's time to consider weening them.

*puts on devil's advocate suit*

Why?

 

[Deckerd]

They tend to do it themselves. Weaning I mean. Most of them get fed up with the effort of breastfeeding when there are easier alternatives.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I have no real business being in this conversation, but I'd say that once they have all their teeth and are capable of eating food, it's time to consider weening them.

I don't think the number of teeth have much to do with when breastfeeding should stop. After all we still encourage children to drink milk in other forms long after they have teeth.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I have no real business being in this conversation, but I'd say that once they have all their teeth and are capable of eating food, it's time to consider weening them.

*puts on devil's advocate suit*

Why?

Like I said, I'm not really trying to get too deep in this conversation, but because it becomes far less necessary. Breast milk is more nutritious, but, as I understand it, that's only true for the first six months or so. In addition, when the baby is capable of eating other forms of food, there are other alternatives. Finally, there's the possibility of biting that isn't negligible.

I guess the equally important question is what's the reason to keep going?

 

[farmkid]

I have no real business being in this conversation, but I'd say that once they have all their teeth and are capable of eating food, it's time to consider weening them.

*puts on devil's advocate suit*

Why?

Kids with teeth bite. My wife can tell you all about it. She breastfed all 5 of our children until they were about 1 year old, and I heard plenty of complaints about the biting when they started getting teeth. It's not pleasant.

As for when kids are too old, I can't say for sure. I look at my youngest daughter, who is almost 5, and I can't imagine her still breastfeeding. That would be very weird indeed.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Babies can be taught not to bite. I certainly managed to teach a nine month old not to bite simply by removing him for a while after he bit me.

I think it would be even easier to teach older children not to bite. I don't think a three year old would bite at all.

 

[trampledamage]

Like I said, I'm not really trying to get too deep in this conversation, but because it becomes far less necessary. Breast milk is more nutritious, but, as I understand it, that's only true for the first six months or so. In addition, when the baby is capable of eating other forms of food, there are other alternatives. Finally, there's the possibility of biting that isn't negligible.

I guess the equally important question is what's the reason to keep going?

I don't think anyone who does extended breast feeding feeds their children on only milk - it wouldn't fill them up for a start. And as an addition to solid meals, I think breast milk is probably healthier than cow's milk.

Having said that, I can't speak from experience because I wasn't able to breast-feed either of mine successfully.

 

[Squiggy]

This thread is worthless without yada yada.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Wasn't it once reasonably common for children to have the occasional suckle at a nursemaid's breast long after weaning, as in past five or six? I've read a few accounts of even a nine year old or two having the odd suck now and then. I don't think it was seen as too strange in those days, and certainly it wasn't considered sexual, though it seems very odd to my modern sensibilities. I sort of have the prejudice that once the baby weans that's it - what's the point in taking it further? That seems to be the general social consensus. Continuing any further is odd, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it, hypothetically, our personal prejudices aside (and, yes, the idea is very alien to me, but then again I'm of course in the "no breasts" category so my prejudices don't count for much anyway).