Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

[Mary Ann]

Ooh, Hippy Lady appears to have two suiters. This could turn out to be a fun afternoon.

***rummages in a large wooden trunk. The sounds of rattling chains and skin-tight leather abound***

(Seriously, the sheer amount of crap my daughter crams into a bedroom measuring 6' by 7.5' defies the laws of physics)

6' x 7.5' - Damn, bedrooms are small over there. My queen size mattress wouldn't even fit flat between the walls in there. Shit. I wouldn't fit laying across the width of the room....

We live in a bog-standard British 1930's "3 up, 2 down" house, meaning two downstairs reception rooms and 3 upstairs bedrooms. In these houses the two main bedrooms are a good size but third bedroom is always tiny, and was probably never intended as a year-round bedroom as it has no fireplace. Many furniture shops sell loft beds, which are a necessity in these small rooms, as there's no built-in wardrobe, either. Of course, in the 1930s teenagers had a lot less crap than now!

 

[kirsten187]

Kirsten to the Street, wondering what has been happening in her absence. Noticing that the deli is opening, she goes in to buy something and see if Daniel knows what is going on.

Are there any specials today Daniel?

*wonders why the hell kirsten is standing in the doorway of the deli, but yelling at the coffee shop door*???[/QUOTE]

I wanted to check if people were paying attention. Obviously something has happened here recently, so as the doctor round here, I thought I'd try that

 

[F. King Daniel]

Well, I mysteriously lost a few days during the volcano crisis, so I'd like my head examined.

Jenee's doing great (and looking positively radiant). She could use a check up just to make sure that little Pending is gestating well in her ever-growing (through pregnancy and only pregnancy!) stomach.

I think Soda ate a lego. He'll either be fine or he'll learn his lesson. Either way it'll sort itself out.

 

[Jenee]

Jenee's doing great (and looking positively radiant). She could use a check up just to make sure that little Pending is gestating well in her ever-growing (through pregnancy and only pregnancy!) stomach.

Such a smooth-talker you are.

 

[Captain Ice]

I wanted to check if people were paying attention. Obviously something has happened here recently, so as the doctor round here, I thought I'd try that

Well, I think I've got either a concussion or one hell of a nasty sinus infection. Ever since that volcano disaster, I've had an immense headache.

This gash on my arm from knife practice at the deli this morning should also be looked at...

 

[kirsten187]

Daniel - make an appointment, I'll see what I can do.

Frosty - knife practice? Sounds like you need some more. Good thing I had some stuff with me today so I can treat that gash now if you like?

 

[RJDiogenes]

* After polishing off some coffee and pastries at the coffee, RJD thanks Jenee and Daniel and then heads over to Hippy Lady's house for some elderflower cordial, whatever that is, and home-made flapjacks. He finds that stuffing himself with every available bit of food is an excellent cure for several days of starvation. *

 

[F. King Daniel]

Daniel's about to make an appointment with the clinic, when a blinding light shines from outside. Everyone rushes to the windows and sees a smooth, silver flying saucer lowering to the ground. Amidst JJ Abrams-strength lens flares, the saucer lands in the middle of the street and a door in it's underside opens. Two spindly grey aliens walk down the ramp and stand on planet Earth, perhaps for the first time. Everyone is holding their breath - this is an historic moment for mankind.

Daniel sneaks up to Jenee and whispers "Maybe we should invite them in for some coffee?"

 

[Jenee]

Jenee looks over her shoulder at gives Daniel one of those looks. "Where do you come up with this stuff?"

 

[Miss Chicken]

The Crazy Cat Lady is proud to announce that Stripe has given birth to five little ligers. Put your order in now if you want one as a pet.

 

[Captain Ice]

I'd love to have one. I'm also looking into huskies...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

A crowd gathers in front of the aliens, who are jabbering amongst themselves in their own language. They try to say a sentence in English, which causes the people to erupt in laughter.

<translated from alien-ese>
"Take me to your flounder"? Hey wait a minute, that's not right, let me see that book...

 

[F. King Daniel]

Uh oh - one of the aliens has planted a flag of intricate alien design in the centre of the street.

 

[Miss Chicken]

The Crazy Cat Lady grabs the flag and angrily throws it to the ground

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR STREET, BOTH OF YOU.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Sensing immanent disaster, Daniel sneaks outside and up to Crazy Cat Lady. Hopefully the aliens don't know pig latin!

"Elax-ray, Razy-Cay At-Cay Ady-Lady. It's ool-cay! we on't-day ant-way any rouble-tay! Et's-lay e-bay riends-fay ith-way the lians-ay, okay? Ive-gay eace-pay a ance-chay!" Daniel says, handing a nice warm cup of tea to one of our alien visitors.

The alien eyes the steaming cup suspiciously.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I want trouble and I have Smiley and Leo to back me up.

 

[Jenee]

Jenee stops Daniel just before he hands the cup of tea to the alien. "Earl Gray tea is poison to Asgard - didn't you listen to ... what was her name? The girl that went to Vulcan? - anyway, here's a cup of hazelnut coffee. Asgard's love hazelnut."

 

[PlainSimpleJoel]

I've just moved into the street. So as anyone got a room where I can stay? I am prepared to make a cheesecake or two for that person, until I find a place of mine own.

 

[Jenee]

Daniel..., How about we move out of the apartment over the coffee shop and into your house, then we can rent out the apartment.

Or! better idea, you can move all your stuff over here and we can rent out your house - more money.

What do you think?

 

[Mary Ann]

Hippy Lady is standing on the road, staring at the aliens. How wonderful to be at the first meeting of humans and aliens! It's so wonderful that she completely forgets about RJ being tied up with chains and wearing a leather mankini covered in flapjack crumbs back at her house. Never mind; he's consumed so much elderflower cordial that he's fast asleep and snoring like a Klingon anyway.

So when's that nice baseball man coming over to play?

Do aliens like lentil loafs?