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I need dumb "super" powers!

Cheesesteak Man - the power to choose between Geno's or Pat's. ;)

Espresso Man - powers of jittery nervousness and insomnia.
 
wedgie worker

--ability to get between things that work together mostly in an anti-synergistic way.
 
DriveThru Speaker Man - power to have no one understand my voice. Also known as Bob Dylan Man and First 20 Minutes Of Trainspotting Man.
 
The ability to post a goodbye thread and actually leave the TrekBBS.
 
The power to make people puke.

Oh, wait a tic...Lady Gaga already has that.

The Lady's power has no effect on me. She can't read my puke-r face.

:rofl:

Terminator - Half his body is always illuminated, the other half is always in darkness.

:lol: I like this one. I have no idea what good it would do anyone, but I like it. And it gave me an idea...

Dramatic Entrance Man: the power to generate dramatic music whenever he enters a room.
 
The power to give people cavities.

The power to tickle from a distance.

The power to produce a ball bearing from your belly button once every 24 hours.

The power to grow a protective turtle shell over the top of your head.

The power to control balloon animals.
 
Catman - Has the power to sleep 16 hours a day and run after anyone who has a ball of yarn dangling behind them.

My personal favorite, though I can't think of a use for it.

The power to grow one's fingernails at an incredible rate at will.
Interesting, but I'm having trouble thinking of an in-game use, and I really want every power I include to be potentially useful at least once.

Long fingernails make excellent weapons.
 
Infanto-Boy The uncanny ability to read infant's minds... but only infants..
This is in.
The ability to freeze clouds
This might be too powerful, especially if you consider fog to be low-flying clouds. I'm thinking about it, though.
The power to pretend you're doing nothing when you're actually doing somethign quite complex!
This is 'in'.
The power to read minds, but everything you 'read' is translated into Polish.
This may be 'in' - but I don't know Polish, so I'll probably change it to something I do.
The power to turn your tears into any other liquid.
This is 'in'.
The power to run as fast as a cheetah for exactly 3.14 seconds.
Given the way RPG rounds work, this is actually too powerful! Unless I limit how often they can do it....
The power to imitate any bird call, but only if it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit or lower outside.
This is 'in'.
The power of X-ray vision that requires you to wear metallic contact lenses that leave you unable to see normally.
Why wouldn't you only put them in when you want to use the X-Ray vision?
The power to do the Hokey Pokey at super sonic speeds.
I think this is 'in'. And now 'out'. And now 'in'. And now, 'shaken all about'. :D
The ability to conjure up, out of thin air, exactly six square feet of 1970s-style orange shag carpet.
This is 'in', but I'm thinking of making it always the same carpet, so it disappears from where it was to appear where it is conjured.
The ability to make a tree fall without making a sound when nobody's around.
I'm trying to work this one out in my head, because wouldn't you be around to use this power?
The ability to speak Russian, but only through lyrics from obscure 1990s Russian pop music.
I know very little Russian, and even less in the way of Russian pop music (pretty much just some stuff by Tatu), so nyet. :p
The ability to just be you, because you don't need to be super... we like you just the way you are... :)
This, strangely enough, is 'in'.
The power to make people puke.

Oh, wait a tic...Lady Gaga already has that.
Lady Gaga is awesome. In my game world, one of the members (Mighty Aphrodite) of one of the serious superhero teams is close friends with her.

And yes, I know her music is almost entirely inane. (And insanely catchy. :p) But I have a decent amount of respect for the woman herself - not her Gaga stage persona, I'm talking about Stefani Germanotta.
Invulnerability to kryptonite.
This is 'in'.
can you jump Six feet into the air from a standing start?!
Well, not from a standing start. I have to crouch all the way down to start. And to be honest, it's probably more like a little over 5 feet. It would be more if I was taller, I suspect - but I'm glad I'm not.

I can envision a dude just standing somewhere and then without any prep or warning - boom, he's 6 feet in the air. Kinda awesome, and, almost useless - so it has that going for it. But I'm worried I would waste a bit of time trying to explain this power to the person who gets it - or I wouldn't explain it well and it would get unused.
You win the Internet! :techman: And I may end up perusing this before I'm done, but I'm more inclined to use powers people come up with here, since I "know" these people, and that makes it more fun - especially when I come back with my thread later, describing the game and what happened. :)
The ability to make birds enter open windows
This is 'in'.
The ability to morph into a shoehorn.....and nothing else.
This is 'in'.
The power to turn into a photo negative of myself.
This is also 'in'.
the ability to accurately estimate the exact airspeed of an unladen swallow
This isn't a superpower. People can do this. Points for the Python reference, though.
The ability to block the operation of any automated espresso machine within a half-mile radius.
This is 'in'.
The power to blow minds with my weapons-grade philosophical insights? :guffaw:
I'm worried that one particular player would get this one, and a 4 hr game would turn into something that goes on for far, far too long. ;)
The power to safely observe all traffic laws.
This is 'in'.
That's actually quite powerful. You could stop technological villains by turning their weapons and powered armor and vehicles into mashed potatoes, destroy tanks and planes by changing them, get through metal or stone barriers, etc.
That's why I'm limiting it to 1 cubic foot per turn. It still might make the person who gets it the powerhouse of the team! :lol:
The ability to file taxes on time without any errors at all.
Mr. Block has used his powers to make a whole lot of money with a chain of stores all over the country, and doesn't have time for costumed crimefighting anymore. ;)
The power to sing bass and do the Movie Preview voice.
I have these powers.
Iron Fist - can press wrinkles out of clothes with his bare hands.
This is 'in'.
Thrill Killer - can make exciting events feel boring.
Since this is the opposite of what I'm hoping for with the game, this is 'out'.
Terminator - Half his body is always illuminated, the other half is always in darkness.
I love this one. Trying to work it in.
wedgie worker

--ability to get between things that work together mostly in an anti-synergistic way.
I think you must've used this ability on my brain whenever I try to read this description. Whut?!
DriveThru Speaker Man - power to have no one understand my voice. Also known as Bob Dylan Man and First 20 Minutes Of Trainspotting Man.
This is 'in'.
Dramatic Entrance Man: the power to generate dramatic music whenever he enters a room.
This is 'in' - but I think I'm going to expand it to a full-on WWE arena entrance, complete with multiple angle screens, smoke, and fireworks. :D
The power to give people cavities.
I'm trying to think how to use this one.
The power to tickle from a distance.
This is 'in'.
The power to produce a ball bearing from your belly button once every 24 hours.
This is 'in'... your belly button! (And also in the game.)
The power to grow a protective turtle shell over the top of your head.
This is 'in'.
The power to control balloon animals.
I'm trying to figure out the line between too powerful and not powerful enough. If the balloons are inanimate, like normal, then they don't do much. But if the power animates them, this could actually be pretty powerful. Maybe one at a time? Hmmm... I think this is 'in'.
The power to grow one's fingernails at an incredible rate at will.
Interesting, but I'm having trouble thinking of an in-game use, and I really want every power I include to be potentially useful at least once.

Long fingernails make excellent weapons.
They do, which is why this is not in. I don't want excellent weapons. I want absurd ones. ;)
 
The power to read minds, but everything you 'read' is translated into Polish.
This may be 'in' - but I don't know Polish, so I'll probably change it to something I do.
Eh, the language doesn't matter, so long as it's something random and amusing--which I find Polish to be. :lol: No offense to any Polish folk around here. :shifty:
The power to turn your tears into any other liquid.
This is 'in'.
Excellent! I look forward to hearing what happens when someone can't pick a lock or bash it open, and tries crying acid onto it. :devil:
The power to run as fast as a cheetah for exactly 3.14 seconds.
Given the way RPG rounds work, this is actually too powerful! Unless I limit how often they can do it....
Good point, I forgot that a round lasts about, what, six seconds? Maybe they can only do it after ingesting hilarious amounts of sugar that leaves their character sick afterward. :shifty:
The power to imitate any bird call, but only if it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit or lower outside.
This is 'in'.
:techman:
The power of X-ray vision that requires you to wear metallic contact lenses that leave you unable to see normally.
Why wouldn't you only put them in when you want to use the X-Ray vision?
Honestly, I dunno, that was just something I randomly threw out there. :shrug:
The ability to speak Russian, but only through lyrics from obscure 1990s Russian pop music.
I know very little Russian, and even less in the way of Russian pop music (pretty much just some stuff by Tatu), so nyet. :p
Like my first suggestion, the language was just random. My original thought was German, but I thought Russian would be more amusing. :p
 
YAY! A couple of mine are in! :D Hmmm... here's another... the power to commune with ducks, geese, and various other waterfowl, as well as all kinds of platypuses... or platypi, I guess.
 
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