I need dumb "super" powers!
- Thread starter USS Triumphant
- Start date
The ability to change your hair color (or anyone else's) on command.
The Useless Beastmaster - Has the power to control useless animals. Can make a platypus swim slightly faster and a penguin jump a couple of inches off the ground.
Insane Magneto Posse - This crazy supervillain duo could harness their powers of magnetism to cause massive destruction, if only they could figure out how it works.
Catman - Has the power to sleep 16 hours a day and run after anyone who has a ball of yarn dangling behind them.
Striper - She can reverse the stripes on any object; candy canes, zebras, pin-striped suits, old-fashioned inmate uniforms... Her powers increase the more dollar bills people stuff in her g-string during her night job.
The Gumslinger - Can remove his false teeth and throw them at you like a ninja star while retaining control of them by moving his mouth. They can bite you and give you a nasty welt and possibly an infection... eventually... if it breaks the skin... and is left untreated for weeks.
Personal Cannon - Has the ability to fire a burst of text from his fingertips through the internet to erase any genre episode or film that offends him from canon.
Flower Power - Can exude pollen from her pores to attract bees to do her bidding. Sadly, upon discovering her power, she was killed due to a severe bee sting allergy.
Irony-Man - Said "That sounds like fun!" when he heard how Flower Power died, and was then immediately killed when his metal suit was accidentally torn apart with him inside it by Insane Magneto Posse at the supervillian meeting. They still don't know how it happened.
The Mule - Has an interdimensional gateway in his rectum, a TARDASS if you will, that allows him to store as many objects as he wants in there, but only if they can... uhh, fit through the portal first, so to speak.
Yuletide - Has the power to shower the children he despises in a wave of presents. Despite his best efforts to destroy them, he is universally beloved.
Gumshoe - A hard-nosed detective that doesn't like to play by the rules that can also walk and chew bubblegum at the same time!
Mediocre Man - Faster than a speeding tortoise! More powerful than a model locomotive! Able to take elevators to the top of tall buildings in a single trip!
"Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh, hey, what's up, Mediocre Man? I didn't see you walk in. Do you think that's a bird or a plane up there?!"
"Yes, it's Mediocre Man, boring visitor from New Jersey who drove across the GWB to New York with powers and abilities moderately beyond those of disabled men. Mediocre Man, who can change the course of mighty faucets, bend straws in his bare hands; and who, not wearing any disguise as John Smith, near-sighted overweight reporter for a free newspaper distributed in subways, fights sleep in a never ending workday for $12 bucks an hour, a 401k, and the right to use his lunchbreak to sell Amway."
Insane Magneto Posse - This crazy supervillain duo could harness their powers of magnetism to cause massive destruction, if only they could figure out how it works.
Catman - Has the power to sleep 16 hours a day and run after anyone who has a ball of yarn dangling behind them.
Striper - She can reverse the stripes on any object; candy canes, zebras, pin-striped suits, old-fashioned inmate uniforms... Her powers increase the more dollar bills people stuff in her g-string during her night job.
The Gumslinger - Can remove his false teeth and throw them at you like a ninja star while retaining control of them by moving his mouth. They can bite you and give you a nasty welt and possibly an infection... eventually... if it breaks the skin... and is left untreated for weeks.
Personal Cannon - Has the ability to fire a burst of text from his fingertips through the internet to erase any genre episode or film that offends him from canon.
Flower Power - Can exude pollen from her pores to attract bees to do her bidding. Sadly, upon discovering her power, she was killed due to a severe bee sting allergy.
Irony-Man - Said "That sounds like fun!" when he heard how Flower Power died, and was then immediately killed when his metal suit was accidentally torn apart with him inside it by Insane Magneto Posse at the supervillian meeting. They still don't know how it happened.
The Mule - Has an interdimensional gateway in his rectum, a TARDASS if you will, that allows him to store as many objects as he wants in there, but only if they can... uhh, fit through the portal first, so to speak.
Yuletide - Has the power to shower the children he despises in a wave of presents. Despite his best efforts to destroy them, he is universally beloved.
Gumshoe - A hard-nosed detective that doesn't like to play by the rules that can also walk and chew bubblegum at the same time!
Mediocre Man - Faster than a speeding tortoise! More powerful than a model locomotive! Able to take elevators to the top of tall buildings in a single trip!
"Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh, hey, what's up, Mediocre Man? I didn't see you walk in. Do you think that's a bird or a plane up there?!"
"Yes, it's Mediocre Man, boring visitor from New Jersey who drove across the GWB to New York with powers and abilities moderately beyond those of disabled men. Mediocre Man, who can change the course of mighty faucets, bend straws in his bare hands; and who, not wearing any disguise as John Smith, near-sighted overweight reporter for a free newspaper distributed in subways, fights sleep in a never ending workday for $12 bucks an hour, a 401k, and the right to use his lunchbreak to sell Amway."
The power to...
- Force people to speak in a Chicago accent on command
- Remove Joe Buck and Tim McCarver from the universe
- Make champagne drinkable
- Use pocket lint as a weapon
- Cause new MadBaggins threads to write themselves
- Use annoying perkiness as a weapon (Flo the Progressive Insurance Girl only)
- Broadcast 70's porn soundtracks worldwide
- Actually understand Ozzie Guillen
- Force people to speak in a Chicago accent on command
- Remove Joe Buck and Tim McCarver from the universe
- Make champagne drinkable
- Use pocket lint as a weapon
- Cause new MadBaggins threads to write themselves
- Use annoying perkiness as a weapon (Flo the Progressive Insurance Girl only)
- Broadcast 70's porn soundtracks worldwide
- Actually understand Ozzie Guillen
Okay, yes, that's 'in'.Bricks are nasty wee things. A brick that's awake can do all sorts of bad things, like fly. Put a brick to sleep by hypnosis, and it'll stop in its tracks, lying dormant.
Trust me.
Interesting, but I'm having trouble thinking of an in-game use, and I really want every power I include to be potentially useful at least once.
This might be 'in'.
This is 'in'.
This isn't a superpower. I can DO that.
This is 'in'.
Oh, sure - and let me throw in Rebuild-the-Great-Wall-of-China Vision, while I'm at it.
This is almost certainly 'in'.
Some actual ones they did on Whose Line Is It Anyway?:
- Boneless Boy
- Obscure Reference Man
- Captain Bloodloss
- Faking-Injury-For-Sympathy Man
- Captain Pork
- Chocolate Bunny Man
- Boneless Boy
- Obscure Reference Man
- Captain Bloodloss
- Faking-Injury-For-Sympathy Man
- Captain Pork
- Chocolate Bunny Man
This is probably 'in'.
Too powerful!
Probably 'in'.
Dude, these are the heroes, not the bad guys!
Hmmm....
This is definitely 'in'.
Not a superpower, good buddy.
I may combine this in a single character with the farting suggestion from earlier in the thread.
This is 'in'.
Ew. No.
This is also definitely 'in'.
Some of the players already fought Prince and The Revolution in a previous game. I don't want to be too redundant.
This is so 'in', it has inspired a plot point.
This is 'in'.
If I understand what you mean, this is too powerful.
Not sure.
This is 'in'.
Probably 'in'.
This is 'in' for certain.
Yes, in the form of Jadzia's clown suggestion.
Admit it, Timby - you want this power, don't you?
"Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice, Aquaman makes himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because he can't do sh*t!"
This one is not 'in', though.These guys are so 'in' that they are being added both to the brief background story and the origin of one of my pregen'd heroes!
Hmmm...
She can't be in the hero team, and I won't use her in the game... but I might find something for her to do.
That is gross.... but I'm thinking it over.
Another power that someone only wrote down because they want it themselves, I see.
One of our fallen comrades. But I probably don't have a way for her to appear in this game.
Ditto. And, wow.
NO. Just.... NO.
Saving this one for later, too.
Not a super.
This is now the national leader of the team the heroes are part of, and he will definitely make a cameo in the intro.
This is 'in' - although I may alter what accent I use for it.
I think this may have already happened, because... who?
Someone should.
Might be 'in'.
And there's a third one. People, these powers aren't for you, so quit writing ones that you want.
Mulling this one over. Trying to figure out an actual mechanic for it.
This one is 'in'.
I think he must have gotten hit with the same thing that got the first two fellas. Who?
^ Joe Buck & Tim McCarver: Worst broadcasters in sports history. Ozzie Guillen: Manager of Chicago White Sox
The power to read minds, but everything you 'read' is translated into Polish.
The power to turn your tears into any other liquid.
The power to run as fast as a cheetah for exactly 3.14 seconds.
The power to imitate any bird call, but only if it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit or lower outside.
The power of X-ray vision that requires you to wear metallic contact lenses that leave you unable to see normally.
The power to turn your tears into any other liquid.
The power to run as fast as a cheetah for exactly 3.14 seconds.
The power to imitate any bird call, but only if it's 40 degrees Fahrenheit or lower outside.
The power of X-ray vision that requires you to wear metallic contact lenses that leave you unable to see normally.
The power to do the Hokey Pokey at super sonic speeds.
Okay. I'm not much of a sports guy. How about: the ability to make bad sports announcers commit Harry Caray.
The ability to conjure up, out of thin air, exactly six square feet of 1970s-style orange shag carpet.
(I may come up with others; Men In Black II is on right now, and who knows what inspiration it may produce?
)
(I may come up with others; Men In Black II is on right now, and who knows what inspiration it may produce?
)
The ability to conjure up, out of thin air, exactly six square feet of 1970s-style orange shag carpet.
(I may come up with others; Men In Black II is on right now, and who knows what inspiration it may produce?)
(I may come up with others; Men In Black II is on right now, and who knows what inspiration it may produce?
)
The power to BE a drunken sailor ear-lye in the morning.
