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Voyager Caption Contest #43: "No Returns Without Receipt"

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Yeoman Randi

Vice Admiral
Admiral
Happy Holidays fellow drones! It's time to put away those mint-in-box captions and make room for some new ones. But first, let's honor those that have tickled our fancy~

This was without question the MOST difficult round to judge. There was brilliance spilling out every which way....so much so that we witnessed the birth to some new categories. I had a lot of fun and i hope you did too.

So without further ado.....i bring you ....da winnas!



For explaining the unexplainable we have:

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Doctor: This is the brain of an average YouTube commenter. We had to blow the picture up several hundred times for it to be visible. Notice how the pathways are specially designed for mimicking what stupid people say...


Our next entry gets the "Six Degrees of Separation" award~

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PARIS: Crap! We do have the same hairline!


This entry gets a "10" because it has a good beat and you can dance to it:

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Kes: "The roof! The Roof! The roof is on fire!!!"


Why it is never good to hang out with people that can "sense something" we have......

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Janeway: (thinking to herself) Why doesn't Tuvok put his arm around me?

Tuvok: I'm married.

Janeway: Oh, right and telepathic.


You've heard of the "People's Choice Awards", well, this next entry wins the "Taster's Choice Award":

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Sulu: And you'll play the role of Anthony Stewart Head.

Tuvok: You wish for me to reenact a series of 20th Century coffee commercials with you?

Janeway: Not just commercials. These are classic lovestories on a par with Austen and the Brontes.

Tuvok: And Captain Janeway will be my love interest?

Sulu: Not exactly.



We have this photoshop that reminds us why old ladies need to step away from the makeup bag~





0404coffee.jpg



This week the Special Spew Award goes to M'Sharak, in the conservatory with the candlestick:


coldfire_481.jpg


"Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her, so much... it-it- the f - it -flam - flames.
Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath... "


A delightful new award, the "Crossover Award" goes to this entry for marrying Voyager and TOS~

Movie2copy.jpg


Tom: Avatar looks the same to me on standard and 3-D.

Janeway: You do realize you don't have any depth perception, right?


And another new award called "Continuation of a Theme" goes to this entry for the masterful way it tied all the photos together:

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EMH: "Now, this is what a brain looks like..."



Parallax037.jpg


Neelix: "Do I have one of those in here?"



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Kes went looking for Neelix's brain from the inside...


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The crew gathered in the special viewing room with their highly sophisticated optical devices to view the holographic view of Neelix's brain.


flashback098.jpg


Captain Sulu: "One day you'll go from serving coffee to examining brains, you mark my words!"

Tuvok: "Oh, goody."


Congratulations to the winners and a big thank you to everyone who played. You all seriously rock!


And now it is time to unwrap the new captions for you to play with~

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Heroes_and_Demons_009.jpg





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On a personal note, i would like to thank everyone here who has participated in the past, and i would also like to say how grateful i am to you all for being such great people. I have come to love this place (the bbs) and all the people here very much. Thank you all for being so damn great!


Since we have Christmas and New Years coming up I am going to let this one brew for three weeks. So we'll all meet here again on Jan 7th when we unveil the gifts you've left under the tree. Until then, have a happy and safe holiday and New Years. Have fun, set a course for home and engage!
 
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Torres: The hell? How is it that Neelix can pick up all these cute chicks, and I get Paris? I mean, just look at him! He looks like a hedgehog... Neelix, I mean. And... and... is he fondling her melons? Oh for the love of...

prey_060.jpg


Seven: I fail to see the point of this "Twitter". Can I not simply speak to you directly?

EMH: Not now, Seven. I'm updating my tumblr. See? My twitter just updated with the links.

Seven: I dislike you.

fleshandbloodone035_1.jpg


Seven (to self): I wonder if the phallic nature of this pose was on purpose? Perhaps not. The commander does not typically resort to such childishness.

Chak: I wonder if the doc could enlarge it this much...

Heroes_and_Demons_009.jpg


Janeway: See that gel? I created it myself using unique compounds found only in certain sections of the Sol system. It's the secret to my great hair.

Torres (to self): "Great hair"... *snort*


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Kim: Holy crap! I found Spock's brain!
 
Thanks for the win! :bolian:

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Neelix: (thinking to himself) Okay, now how am I supposed to have a wholesome conversation with this girl, ending with me asking her out, when I have to buy huge melons from her?


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Seven: Felis Catus, is your taxonomic nomenclature, an endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature-

Doctor: When I told you to find some poetry to read, I meant good poetry.

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Chakotay: Wow, the trees on this planet bleed.

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B'Elanna: We have collected the energy cells Captain.

Janeway: Good, they will be needed to maintain my new hairstyle.


coldfire_091.jpg


Tuvok: (over comm) Intruder Alert! Heavy Casualties on all decks. The Caretaker species seem to want somethi- ARRRRRRRGH!

Kim: Hmmmmm..... okay, electro shock therapy doesn't work on the Caretakers remains. Why don't we try dissecting it next?
 
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B'Elanna: "Uh-oh. This has 'diplomatic disaster' written all over it!"


fleshandbloodone035_1.jpg


Chakotay: "Um...wasn't today the day of Harry's big date with B'Elanna?"
Seven: "I tried to warn him she was way out of his league."


Heroes_and_Demons_009.jpg


Mulgrew: "Wow, look at these! If the writers can't hang some really bitchin' technobabble on these babies, they might as well just hang it up!"


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Disembodied Brain: "I bet 400 quatloos on the human with the vacant stare!"
 
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Nelix: "I could spend all day just squeezing your mellons."

Vendor: "That's kind of forward of you, but what the heck, I'm game. Let's go."

Nelix: "I was talking about the fruit."






coldfire_091.jpg


Harry: "If I only had a brain."
 
prey_060.jpg


7 of 9: "It appears my t-cell count is quite improving since my ammune system regained control. What do you think, Doctor? Doctor? Doctor -- that's a mirror."

Doctor: "I know..."



coldfire_091.jpg


YouTube commentors' brains, care of the 24th and-a-half century.
 
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Doctor: "I wonder what B'Elanna would do if she ever found out the mysterious 'Erik' she's been sexting with was really you and me."
 
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Neelix: Your melons are not only pleasing to look at, but delightful to touch --
Torres: STOP, NEELIX! You heard what the captain said. The penalty for puns and double entendres on this planet is DEATH!

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The Doctor: No, no, Seven. Your nose must be HIGHER. Snobbery is crucial to the pursuit of perfection. You're a superior being -- now, act like it!

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Chakotay: Klingons? In the Delta Quadrant?
Seven: That is an unlikely scenario.
Chakotay: I'll say.There's a better chance of you asking me out to dinner than Klingons showing up in the Delta Quadrant..


Heroes_and_Demons_009.jpg

And so, the first Voyager Chili Cookoff began.

coldfire_091.jpg

Kim struggled in vain to compliment Torres' chili. "It looks like brain food"?
 
Heroes_and_Demons_009.jpg


Janeway: Report.

Torres: Captain, we've captured these lens flares and are holding them for interrogation...

Lens flare #1: 2000 quatloos on the one with the bun!
Lens flare #2: 3000 on the Klingon with the bowl haircut from 1977!
 
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Torres: Is it really necessary to store these new replicators here? I mean they are kind of in the way!

Janeway: (mumbling to herself) Now I'll never run out of coffee again! Take that Delta Quadrant!
 
coldfire_091.jpg

Doctor, offscreen: This is your brain on drugs.

Harry, dejected: Oh.

Doctor, offscreen: What's the matter.

Harry, dejected: I was kind of hoping for the demonstration with Rachael Leigh Cook smashing an egg and frying pan.
 
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Nobody, not even Neelix, could deny that Seven brought "massive melons" appeal.

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Seven: Doctor, I've just single-handedly started a process that will result in peace between the JJ Abrams fans and the TOS purists on the TrekBBS. What are you doing?

Doctor (typing): "LOLOL, u r dum, tos is old so trek '09 is the best lololol..."
 
BokchoyChicken001.jpg


Seven: "Good job, Bokchoy...you killed the last Xmas Chicken in the Delta Quadrant."

Bokchoy: "I didn't do it, but I'll bet someone did..."

Seven: "According to my Tricorder, your DNA is all over this weapon."

Bokchoy: "That's funny because according to my tricorder, you're a little low on Botox, Silicon and IQ."
 
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