Star Trek XI Caption Contest #23: Big Stars

[Rat Boy]

Alert medical, because it's time for another caption contest. Even Robau's awesomeness doesn't hold a candle to...

Choosing a winner for the Robau picture was hard, so I picked three:

Robau: Alert me when we're in range to deploy The Weapon.
Helmsman: Weapon range in three, two...one!
Robau: Deploying weapon! *stands up*

My thread will be closed after a mere 8,000 posts? This does not please me.

Jeremy Clarkson: Your time round our track is . . . One . . . . . Forty . . . . . . . .

That phrase. I don't think it means what you think it means...

Kirk: "Belay that order."

Kirk (to self): "The person who came up with that phrase is a genius. It lets me bark orders and sound important whenever the mood strikes. And then I can say 'Belay that order' and sound important again. This is the life."

Those old J-class starships were deathtraps, weren't they?

KIRK: I Just pushed a button labled "Delta Rays". Is that bad?

Ask a simple question, get a simple Photoshop answer...

Robau: "What would I do?"

Congratulations to the winners. In this episode, we highlight the stars of the film who's careers have taken off. Have at and we'll do this again in three weeks:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I was offering a sip, not a gulp."

Sarek: "Spock, what are you doing?"

Spock: "Trying to kill him."

Uhura: "Then by all means, don't stop."

A second later, the smug punk walked into the glass partition.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: Like my beard?

I call it "The Muff Scratcher 4000."

SAREK: Spock!!!

STOP!!!!

You're doing it all wrong!!!

Hit with the ELBOW, not the fist!!!

KIRK: Ladies...

gentlemen...

You can rest easy now.

The Mack Daddy has arrived.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: My girlfriend Nancy didn't want me to enlist...but I was ready to do ANYTHING to get the hell away from her creepy new salt fetish...

 

[bullethead]

The name is Dredd... Judge Dredd.

Uhura: Spock, this is an intervention.
Sarek: We cannot allow your obsession with beating people up in highly lens flared environments continue.
Spock: You never let me do what I want! NEVER!
Kirk (rolling on the floor and coughing up blood): Where were you guys five minutes ago?

Kirk: Hot ensign, 2 o'clock.

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: Did you break his jaw?

SPOCK: I am...uncertain.

SAREK: That's not how your mother and I raised you, my son...we always taught you: Hit. And Break.

KIRK: Gold suits me.

Like the blue skivvies I have on underneath this.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

"I don't remember Kirk being this much of an asshole. Has there been any crazy temporal anomalies recently?"

Spock: "I can't decide which of you is more attractive..."

Both: "Wow, you think we're both beautiful?"

Spock: "No. You're both so ugly that I can't decide who's uglier."

"That's right, bitch. I got LENS FLARE."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Gross! That was a new shirt!

MCCOY: I did warn you.

SPOCK: My father, with my girlfriend!!!!!???? ( runs away sobbing)

KIRK: I gotta ask about getting issued sunglasses.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "'Vulcan honor'? Marriage? Hell's bells, all I did was bump uglies with her a couple of times!"

 

[M'Sharak]

"And no backwash, kid, or I'll have to kneecap ya."​

 

[UFO]

Pike: This is Captain Pike. We've been cleared for take off.
Kirk: Did you hear that? Now I want to get off.
McCoy: Why?
Kirk: I got talked into this gig by a shuttle pilot!

Spock: How did that saying go again Dad? "Sticks and stones …"

Kirk (thinking): Oh well, its no Farragut but it'll have to do.

 

[6079SmithW]

Thanks for the win!

Kirk(OS): Bones? As in "sawbones"?

McCoy: They're starfleet marines, Jim, not poets.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: All's left is your bones, eh? I'll call you "Bones" but tell everyone it's short for "sawbones".
McCoy: Nobody's every gonna get that arcane reference. So no.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk (Scans room thinking): Did her, did her, next on list, did her did her with her girl friend

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk (thinking): "You know, Captain Pike may have been right about starship captains tending to fall in love with their ships. I could kind of see--Whoa! Who is that lovely young ensign?"

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

McCoy: Nice to meet you. I’m enlisting because my wife took everything in the divorce. All I’ve got left are my BOOOOONEEESSSS. Eh? Eh? Bones!

Kirk(O,S): So, this movie’s official explanation for your nickname is basically that my character likes to incessantly remind you of your painful divorce. Wow, I really am an insufferable douchebag.

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk: (thinking) Ah, the pizza's arrived. Good! That's me prepared for departure.

 

[B.J.]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am!

 

[UFO]

Alright, no mirrors on the bridge. Fine. ... What happens if we polarize the viewscreen?

 

[6079SmithW]

[/QUOTE]

Kirk: This uniform makes me look fat, doesn't it? Perhaps some lens flares will blind the audience to this predicament. Oh, look! There's one now!