Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

[F. King Daniel]

Daniel, my clinic is now open for you to make an appointment whenever you wish. That goes for the rest of you too (Kirsten wonders if she should do this....)

That's great. We're not doing the paternity test, but we'll be in for all the regular checkups to make sure both Jenee-baby and Jenee's baby are doing fine.



That reminds me - Jenee? Our six year old, the one staying with Hippy Lady - do you remember his name? Not that I've forgotten, of course. I'm just... testing. I certainly remember the name of our first child.

 

[Jenee]

Soda

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Well since I haven't gotten an answer about starting my small factory I guess I'll set up RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.

*sets up gigantic rubber molding press, runs pipes and wires*

No use asking us. You will have to go downtown and ask the planning authorities.

However myself, and no doubt others including Hippy Lady, will protest the setting up of your factory so close to our nice homes.

The Crazy Cat Lady chains herself to the bulldozer that is being used to construct the factory.

Maybe you could set it up at the very end of Neutral Avenue well beyond even the trailer park?

In the middle of the street? Is he out of his mind?! Ziyal starts to join the Crazy Cat Lady and others who are protesting, then hears that he's going to build on Technology St. instead. Presumably this time he means on the property adjoining the street, not the street itself. One small crisis is over. Hopefully.

 

[Flashover]

Protest all you want, I already moved across town to the industrial park.

Oh and that bulldozer is NOT mine.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Soda

Ah yes, of course. Little... Soda.

I know I wasn't there for you in the run-up to Soda's birth (it was during my getaway driver phase, after all), but this time I'll be there at all the things that people do before having a baby.

Whatever they are.

 

[Flashover]

Soda

Ah yes, of course. Little... Soda.

I know I wasn't there for you in the run-up to Soda's birth (it was during my getaway driver phase, after all), but this time I'll be there at all the things that people do before having a baby.

Whatever they are.

*brick crashes through window, bounces off of Expensive TV and hits you square in the nuts. Attached is a note: *

Need a job to replace the broken window? And possibly pay for your new child? Apply at Wacky Products Incorporated(*) 666 Technology Street.

(*a division of Global Chemical Unlimited)​

 

[Jenee]

Someone else is going to have to take this new terrorist off our hands.

I'm all tied up with Daniel ... literally.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

*walks into the bar*


KRANG!!! "Son of a--- my head!!! Ow ow ow ow ow... who put this bar in front of the pub?!"

Hippy Lady, perhaps? What are the feng shui benefits of a bar in this situation?

...walks into the pub and sits down.

Deranged Nasat sidles over. He's cleaned himself up considerably since he started working here, but he's still got that edge of unsanitary craziness about him. He mutters darkly about the government and narrows his eyes at Flashover.

Take y'r order?

 

[Flashover]

"throwing those bricks into people's houses really makes my arm tired. I'll have some of that glowing blue stuff mixed with some of that throbbing red stuff... on the rocks... in a tall glass."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"throwing those bricks into people's houses really makes my arm tired. I'll have some of that glowing blue stuff mixed with some of that throbbing red stuff... on the rocks... in a tall glass."

Coming up.

Deranged Nasat has never thrown bricks through windows, but he smashed up a bus station once. He'd been smoking something funny again, and saw some evil shaggy-haired, red-eyed demon in the glass. It was smoking too. So he attacked it and killed it. He therefore understands your predicament, Flashover*

* Which is to say, he's replaced what you just said with his own loosely-related recollections and is thinking no more of it. He can't promise, though, that the sight of shiny coins won't make him remember suddenly and blurt it out to people.

Here's the drink.

 

[Flashover]

...chugs drink...

"Alright what do you got in the way of toilet bowl cleaner? Any Lysol? Ok mix two fingers of that with a shot of brake fluid and dump it in half a bottle of Budweiser."

*sets two $20 bills on the counter*

 

[Deranged Nasat]

...chugs drink...

"Alright what do you got in the way of toilet bowl cleaner? Any Lysol? Ok mix two fingers of that with a shot of brake fluid and dump it in half a bottle of Budweiser."

*sets two $20 bills on the counter*

Finally! Deranged Nasat doesn't know why the pub owner even has this stuff - he certainly never serves it.

Here y'r'go, sir. *offers drink and snatches up the money*

 

[Flashover]

*chugs drink, flames shoot from ass*

"---fantastic stuff. Alright. Two lumps of charcoal, a table-spoon of Draino, half a cup of that blue stuff you clean your windshield with, some axle-grease... and a can of Redbull. Mix it into that bottle of gin behind you and slide it my way."

*puts two $20 bills on the counter*

 

[Deranged Nasat]

*chugs drink, flames shoot from ass*

"---fantastic stuff. Alright. Two lumps of charcoal, a table-spoon of Draino, half a cup of that blue stuff you clean your windshield with, some axle-grease... and a can of Redbull. Mix it into that bottle of gin behind you and slide it my way."

*puts two $20 bills on the counter*

At once, sir.

Good business this.

Deranged Nasat remembers that the pub owner has a whole bunch of interesting bottles and liquids in the supply room. Most of them he never uses; Deranged Nasat thought maybe they were being saved for Christmas. If you like, he'll go and get them and we'll see what else we can concoct. They're behind the mops and stuff, this won't take a minute...

 

[Flashover]

*chugs drink, shits a small thermonuclear mushroom-cloud*


"aaaah yeah that's the stuff. One more. This one's easy. 50 percent battery acid, 50 Nyquil. On the rocks."

*sets two $20 bills on the counter*

 

[Deranged Nasat]

*chugs drink, shits a small thermonuclear mushroom-cloud*


"aaaah yeah that's the stuff. One more. This one's easy. 50 percent battery acid, 50 Nyquil. On the rocks."

*sets two $20 bills on the counter*

Aaaand...here we are. Bugrit! *slams the final concoction down in front of Flashover*

And to think, until this point Deranged Nasat has been serving boring old beer. Maybe he'll go offer a Bleach Cocktail to those folks out protesting the bulldozer.

 

[Flashover]

*chugs drink, alarmingly there are no side-effects*


"Ain't my bulldozer. And I already moved my business to the other end of town there, behind the trailer park. Say, ya'll ever get tired of slinging soda water come on down. I need a Dangerous Stuff Technician and you look dum- I mean talented enough to do the job!"

*hands you business card and $10 tip*


*turns, walks out of pub and into bar*


KRAAAANG!!!!Son of--- Forgot that was there....

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Hmmm. Maybe Deranged Nasat will think about working for Flashover on weekends and keep working here in the pub on weekdays. Two jobs might well be better than one.

Better clear away the bottles; it's not Christmas yet, and we don't want the pub owner to know we've been serving the colourful stuff early. Back in the supply closet they go.

Now, to wander out and look at the bulldozer. This is a good opportunity to scream incoherent garbage, since he can't do that regularly anymore, serving drinks as he is. A protest will give him an excuse, though.

 

[Captain Ice]

*stops on the way to the Hippie Lady's place to briefly talk to flashover.*

From the smell of this package, something tells me that the Hippie Lady and I are in the same business...

 

[kirsten187]

How many children do you have, Daniel?

Daniel, my clinic is now open for you to make an appointment whenever you wish. That goes for the rest of you too (Kirsten wonders if she should do this....)

That's great. We're not doing the paternity test, but we'll be in for all the regular checkups to make sure both Jenee-baby and Jenee's baby are doing fine.



That reminds me - Jenee? Our six year old, the one staying with Hippy Lady - do you remember his name? Not that I've forgotten, of course. I'm just... testing. I certainly remember the name of our first child.