^^ Do it. Send copies to the head of nursing, the head of surgery and the hospital president. Either they're understaffed or their nurses are incompetent, but either way they should know their patients aren't happy.
Hey J, believe me, I know it's a lot to think about and remembering to ask the right questions with so many emotions is difficult. I've gone through this with several cats who had incurable diseases. It is a habit I got into of asking for all information that I could on the spot. Hopefully, you don't get the practice at it that I did! Keep us updated and I'm sending good thoughts your way. And, yeah, I'm sure that we all figured you were taking good care of your Mom as well! You must overloaded! Make sure you get some time for yourself even though it must be difficult. Mr Awe
^^J., I'll add my name to the list regarding writing a letter of complaint to the hospital. The nurses cannot help being understaffed but the least they could do when they do show up is apologise for the delay. What your mother is going through is unacceptable.
John, i was recently telling this story to Astrosmurf, about when my Dad was in the hospital for a very long time. The doctors and nurses have to harden themselves up or they could never survive their jobs. I think in doing so, they get "too hard" and no longer see their patients as human beings. This does not excuse their behavior or the poor care or lack of attention they give their patients. I did something for my dad that greatly improved his care. I made the staff see him as a human being, an interesting person who was loved by his family. What did i do? Heh. I put up "The Kramer" poster in his hospital room. He was in the cardiac ICU at the time. He loved Seinfeld and it was one of the things he and i could talk and joke endlessly about. Not only did the poster make him laugh, but it made every single hospital employee stop, look, laugh and talk to him about the poster itself and about the show. Everytime he was moved from one room in the hospital to another (he was in for about 4 months that first time round), it moved with him. I swear to god, that poster made a HUGE difference in the way he was cared for. Every nurse, doctor, aid, janitor, whatever, ended up knowing my dad and taking more time with him than they had before. Figure out a way to make your mother stand out and seem more like the loving caring mother and human being she is, than just another body in a bed. It could help. Sending you lots of love, positive vibes and {{squishy hugs}}.
I was told that it’s better to have someone (family) stay with the patient as much as possible while they’re in the hospital. When my in-laws were hospitalized (different times), one of their kids was always there--but then, they have 5 kids living nearby. When Hubby had his appendix out, though only 24 hours in the hospital, I was there for all but 3-5 of them, leaving only so I could eat, shower, and come back to pick him up. When Dad was hospitalized prior to his passing, Mom was with him for 10 days, even showering there.
So sorry you're going through some very trying times J.Allen, it sounds as though you are under significant amounts of stress at the moment. I am sure there must also be happy times in store for you to balance the situation. Just hang on till then, you'll get through this, and it won't always be so hard. You're in my thoughts. Lovely to hear of someone taking such good care of his loved ones.
I'll add a few to that list.... Write to your Mom's health insurance agency, your state medical licensing board, the county health department for the county the hospital is in, and Medicare. It's time to be the squeaky wheel, even if it's anathema to you.
Thank you guys, I will do that. Today I went in there and she looked terrible. I noted everything that was wrong, what would be cause for concern, I took note of the nurses on duty and their response times, and I also made note of the nurses who were doing their jobs, the ones who were helping as best as they could. I want to make sure that only those nurses who aren't doing their jobs are the ones getting targeted in this letter. As for mom, her doctor came in today and filled us in, that her kidney is getting better, and they had to pack the wound a bit to prevent infection, otherwise, that's going well. Hopefully, the doctor says, tomorrow they can remove the tube from her stomach that prevents the minute amounts of water she's allowed to have from entering her system until everything heals. She's been very much out of it today, thanks to the morphine. It broke my heart when she started crying and wanted to go home, which is about 4 days away. As for Dallie, she's now stopped taking all of her medications, she won't even take them with peanut butter, something she used to love. She won't eat anything at all again, she's drinking little water, she won't leave the thing alone and it is getting worse. I've gone through acres of gauze and bandages, she just pulls them off while we're gone. I'll be on the phone with the vet tomorrow, and I believe Wednesday is going to be the day. I've already decided no on the surgery, and I've made the decision that this will be it, she's not going to get any better than she is, in fact, she will get worse, and that I need to do what's right, and that's final. I'll be there with her when she passes. She'll be surrounded by people who care about her. When I get home, I will have to clean up the house and get rid of everything (except pictures) that was hers, because I made the promise to do so for mom, otherwise she simply would not be able to handle it, and I understand that.
So sorry about Dallie, but glad to hear that your Mom seems to be a bit better. Good on you for making sure the “good” nurses get noticed as well as the bad ones.
Another question for you, J. Has anyone mentioned your mother's lack of care to her doctor? If the doctor who did the surgery is not the one who diagnosed the condition/has been treating her before the surgery, then that doctor should be spoken with as well.
My dad spoke to him about it this evening, because the doctor had been told things that had never taken place, like that my mom was trying to remove her tube, when she wasn't. Her doctor's partner in their practice was the one who said she did, that he had been up there when she did it. Well, he had only been up there once, and my dad was there when he did, and dad said at no time did mom try to remove anything. My mom's doctor, who performed the surgery, is a brilliant, capable man. His partner at their office isn't so brilliant or capable, to put it nicely.
Sorry about your dog, J. It's a rough thing to do, but you're making the right call, she's telling you it's time. Curled up with my 15.5 year old cat right now, and it sucks even thinking about this...
Thanks, Scout. Yeah, she is telling me it's time. I guess if I were roughly 112 years old, I'd be ready, too.
Really sorry to hear this. Spend what time you can with your dog. It's important for you and for her. Jeeze, feeling a bit teary now.
J, definitely sounds like it's that time. I've noticed that animals often make it a bit easier by telling you it's the time. It's like what I said earlier in this thread, the decision becomes a non-decision. My thoughts are with you. Also, you're doing the right thing about the nurses at the hospital. Poor treatment is inexecusable. Best wishes to your Mom and I'm looking forward to the day that she can go home! Mr Awe
Best wishes for your mom. Hopefully she will be well enough to be home soon. I'm so sorry about Dallie, but you really are doing the best thing for her. *hug*
When our old cat was on his way out we managed to tempt him with little bits of raw liver (sounds disgusting I know but you'll do anything for them, right?) Our old dog we managed to tempt with chocolate raisins when everything else failed. It's just to make us feel better of course. That and telling them how much you love them even although it's just stupid dog.