TNG Caption This #186: Yesterdays Caption Contest

[LeadHead]

Good day to you all, time for a new contest! I'd like to take a moment and give out some winner awards.

First up, a Public Service announcement:

Soylent green is people!

Next, Geordi and Worf have a bonding experience...

Geordi: God Worf, this Klingon pizza is giving me heartburn.
Worf: You must tame the inner fire to be a warrior.

Next, for showing us that Data is not impervious to Adamantium, our winner is:

Abrams' follow-up Wolverine/TNG crossover didn't fare as well as Trek XI.

Next, Patrick Stewart my have done well with A Christmas Carol but Jean-Luc Picard didn't, our winner is:

Picard: God dammit Tasha, you know I don't believe in ghosts! Quit trying to scare me!

For revealing what was actually in the venom from "Genesis." Our winner is:

Beverly: Eewwwwww, is that Listerine?

Next, we've all been here, but this could be the worst one of these experiences of all time. Our winner is:

Wesley: "Mother, you don't have to be such a pushover. You don't have to say 'yes' every time one of your canasta buddies tells you they know a lovely girl I should meet."

And we had a great many Photoshops trying foe the Photoshop award! I am pleased to present my first ever Tag-Team PhotoShop award to:

DR. SHELDON COOPER: Greetings, Will Wheaton. As you may have surmised, I have invented time travel.

Leonard: "Sheldon? I don't think this was such a good idea. You've scared the kid shitless and we may need his help to get back home."

And for knowing my weakness the special "LeadHead loves all things Mass Effect" award goes to:

Awkward moments in the Enterprise corridors.

Congratulations to all of our winners!

And now, lets go again with a special examination of the episode "Yesterdays Enterprise."

 

[LeadHead]

In different universes, there are differed "Picard Maneuvers"

Worf: I see you over there, eyeing my drink. This Prune Juice is MINE!

Data: I always hate these, morning after and 2 years later conversations.

Whoopi: LeVar, you know you're wearing the wrong uniform right?

LeVar: Like our fans are ever THAT nitpicky.

Castillo: If I ever have a baby girl I'm gonna name her Sela. You just remind me of that name for some reason.

Picard: Captains Log, I'm feeling really unhappy this morning? Who hacked into my Captains Log Book?!

 

[Boxyno1]

Picard: Ensign, scartch my ass for me... aaaahhhh that's better

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard: All right, who put the whoopie cushion on my chair? Was it you Guinan?

Worf: I see what you did there.

Five minutes later the turbolift display read 'do not disturb.'

Geordi: Ah yes, thank you for delivering the empty platter I ordered... No tip for you...

Tasha: Dammit! Why can't you make eye contact? You're just like Data!

Castillo: I'm sorry baby! I deeply respect you as a human being. Now what were you saying?

Captain's Log
So, I was in the turbolift the other day and Ensign Cruz commented that my head was very shiny today. I swear, she reminds me of that bitch Nechayev, oh crap... she's right behind me...

 

[bullethead]

Worf: Is that...

Waitress: Yes Mr. LaForge, we know there's a Gundam outside the window. The dozens of people shouting "It's a Gundam!" should've made that obvious.

Castillo: You know, had this weird dream where I was a politician and had a daughter, then somehow ended up on a broken down spaceship and died.
Yar: That's funny, I had a dream where I was a Romulan and I was leading a fleet of Warbirds into Klingon space.
Castillo: What do you think it means?
Yar: You've got a better agent than I do.

Whenever he was in a tight spot, Picard asked "What would Robau do?"

No matter how dire the situation, Picard always made time for Pokemon.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf: "Someone sent me another prune juice? That's nice, but a Klingon likes to know who's buying his drinks!"
Waiter (OS): "Oh, alright. It's from those four snickering ensigns at the corner table."

Tasha: "There's nothing to apologize for, Data! It happens to every man sooner or later. Sometimes servos just won't work!"

Tasha: "It's so hard to say goodbye! I can't believe how close I feel to you after knowing you for so short a time!"
Castillo: "You're not wearing a bra, are you."

"Captain's Log. Stardate 4028.4. I wore a brand new uniform to the bridge today. All my insignia were freshly polished, too. And no one noticed! It really is lonely at the top. I need a hug. "

 

[Captain Crow]

Worf: Bitch, please.

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the team photoshop win, Leadhead. Nice workin' with ya, Myk.

Picard: "What the? Oh bugger. Somebody's got fingerprints all over the view screen and it's driving me crazy!"

Worf: "This 'prune juice' ruse is working out quite well. Nobody suspects that it's actually Klingon rum. Ha, ha."

Data: "After you."
Tasha: "No, after you."
Data: "No, I insist."
Tasha: "But you outrank me--you first."
Data: "I am trying to do the chivalrous thing as expected of a man. Please, you first."
Riker (OS): "Will you please make up your mind!"

Guinan: "I'll have the spaghetti carbonara and a glass of Chianti."
Laforge: "I'll just have your number, thanks."

Castillo: "Heh, there must be a draft in here." (smirk)

Picard: "Dear Diary, the Rogaine is simply not working. After all of these centuries since the first hair regrowth product and we still can't get it right??"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GOLDSHIRT: Damn, these uniforms do make our butts look big.

WORF: (thinking) Keep it cool. No one has to know you're drinking a Shirley Temple.

TASHA: Better remind LaForge to fix the inertial dampners in the turbolifts.

DATA: Perhaps we should have done that before calling Ensign Crusher to the bridge?

Tasha smiles.

LAFORGE (to waitress): Come here often?

GUINAN: You seriously have no game, do you?

TASHA:My eyes are up here!

CASTILLO: Yeah, but so's that goofy hairstyle.

Captain's Log: Saw BC in the corridor. I think she likes me. Caught her looking at me when she thought I didn't see.

Hate WR, whatta douche. His ex is a pain in the ass, too. Sense this shrink!!!!

 

[Gary7]

Castillo: "I don't know why, but every time I look at your hair, the name 'Malfoy' pops up in my mind."

 

[Gary7]

Malfoy: "Potter, what did you do to me?? I've got breasts!"

Harry: "Well, they are rather small. Sorry 'bout that."

 

[Mistral]

"They looked a lot better in Playboy."

 

[Mistral]

In the darker, tougher universe all of the chair seats had spikes in them-which made sitting a real challenge.

 

[Gary7]

Computer: "Lwaxana Troy is in turbolift two. Destination is the main bridge."

Picard: "Oh, great. Data--I'll be hiding in my ready-room. Don't tell her where I am!"

 

[Isis]

Ensign: "So I guess you were serious about wearing those assless chaps."

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Picard should have had LifeAlert...

Merrius VII and Pip-01: Hey, ho, to the bottle I go to heal my heart and drown my woe...

Worf: Ugh... Space Hobbits.

Tasha: Aww, Data, you're so sweet!

Data: The Great Robau says that being nice to a girl increases chances of "getting laid" by 25%.

Geordi: Prune juice... huh? Wait, WORF DON'T DRINK THAT! THE ORDERS WERE MIXED-

Worf: BLAAAAAAGH!

Guinan: What was that?

Geordi: Chateu Robau is... shocking, to the unexperienced.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Merrius VII and Pip-01: Hey, ho, to the bottle I go to heal my heart and drown my woe...

Worf: Ugh... Space Hobbits.

At first I was sitting there completely at a loss for words, but then I wound up guffawing heartily. I tip my hat to you sir.

 

[bullethead]

Yar: Maintenance is getting sloppy again. Look at this! This doesn't even look like the other corridors and turbolift stops. Might as well be a whole other ship!
*Get in turbolift*

*Doors open*

Data: Interesting.
Janeway: Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?

 

[Gary7]

^^ bullethead, this is hilarious!

 

[Alrik]

*fraaaap-squish*

Picard: "Oh dear. I believe I've just sharted. Numbah One, you have the Bridge."

Riker (OS): "Aye sir, not sitting in the chair though."

Worf: "Last call my bumpy Klingon ass."

Data: "Tasha, I have learned a few new techniques."

Tasha: "You jewel."