TNG Caption This #184: Brace for........something...

[Isis]

Troi: "All right, who put a very realistic looking wax apple in that fruit bowl? Was it you, Data? My mouth is sensing a great amount of pain."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "But, Beverly, wait -- there was something I had to tell you ... merde!"

Riker: "It still smells like old fat man and popcorn, does it not, sir?"
Captain Picard: "Indeed it does, number one."

And on her way fresh from filming the 24th century version of "Two Girls and One Cup", there is an accident, one which causes the ensign to NEVER BEEN SEEN OR HEARD FROM EVER AGAIN.

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: (over comm) Red Alert!

Picard: Report Number One!

Riker: (over comm) Someone got hot chocolate all over the computer system and now all we get it is: "The Server is unavailable or busy."

 

[Bob Karo]

Picard: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the episode?!

Riker: "Now". You're looking at "now", sir. Everything that happens now [indicates himself and Picard] is happening "now". [Indicates the screen]

Picard: What happened to "then"?

Riker: We passed "then".

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now. Were at "now," now.

Picard: Go back to "then"!

Riker: When?

Picard: Now!

Riker: "Now?"

Picard: Now!

Riker: I can't.

Picard: Why!?

Riker: We missed it.

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now.

Picard: ... When will "then" be "now"?

Riker: Soon.

 

[Isis]

Data: "Do my boobs look big in this uniform?"

Picard and Riker (in unison): "Yes."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

For some reason, "One Captain, One Cup" never quite became the internet meme it's predecessor did.

 

[Gary7]

Picard: "Wait, that's not a reflection. We're standing in different places."
Riker: "Well they've got it wrong. I should always be out in front."
Data: "Yes, better you being the first target instead of me."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the episode?!

Riker: "Now". You're looking at "now", sir. Everything that happens now [indicates himself and Picard] is happening "now". [Indicates the screen]

Picard: What happened to "then"?

Riker: We passed "then".

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now. Were at "now," now.

Picard: Go back to "then"!

Riker: When?

Picard: Now!

Riker: "Now?"

Picard: Now!

Riker: I can't.

Picard: Why!?

Riker: We missed it.

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now.

Picard: ... When will "then" be "now"?

Riker: Soon.

WINNER

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Mister Worf, you bought perfume again.

Picard: Beverly, don't be like that. I only meant that I no longer desire you in any way.

 

[Isis]

Picard: "I have no clue what this substance is. We'd better run a full analysis."

Riker: "Sir, I realize it's been a few years, but I wouldn't have expected a bottle of shampoo to throw you for such a loop."

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the episode?!

Riker: "Now". You're looking at "now", sir. Everything that happens now [indicates himself and Picard] is happening "now". [Indicates the screen]

Picard: What happened to "then"?

Riker: We passed "then".

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now. Were at "now," now.

Picard: Go back to "then"!

Riker: When?

Picard: Now!

Riker: "Now?"

Picard: Now!

Riker: I can't.

Picard: Why!?

Riker: We missed it.

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now.

Picard: ... When will "then" be "now"?

Riker: Soon.

WINNER

I concur

 

[tharpdevenport]

Mr. Worf understood drugs testing would periodically occur, but to open his urine sample and smell it on the Bridge infront of the enlisted crew and go "Ummm, nummy, Mr. Worf", was MOST UNACCEPTABLE.

 

[T'Girl]

Troi: "Will you both stop talking about how you hold your "cranks."

Date: "I merely stated that this is how far my hands are apart when I hold my crank."

LaForge: "And I simply responded that mine are this far apart when I hold my crank."

(Picard quietly masturbates under table)

.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Troi: "Will you both stop talking about how you hold your "cranks."

Date: "I merely stated that this is how far my hands are apart when I hold my crank."

LaForge: "And I simply responded that mine are this far apart when I hold my crank."

(Picard quietly masturbates under table)

.

Picard: "I think I shall now have some cream with my tea. Early grey. Hot. ENGAGE!"

 

[Isis]

Picard: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the episode?!

Riker: "Now". You're looking at "now", sir. Everything that happens now [indicates himself and Picard] is happening "now". [Indicates the screen]

Picard: What happened to "then"?

Riker: We passed "then".

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now. Were at "now," now.

Picard: Go back to "then"!

Riker: When?

Picard: Now!

Riker: "Now?"

Picard: Now!

Riker: I can't.

Picard: Why!?

Riker: We missed it.

Picard: When!?

Riker: Just now.

Picard: ... When will "then" be "now"?

Riker: Soon.

Data: "I got a little distracted. Could I trouble you to repeat that?"

 

[JoeFromEarth]

Picard: Giggity giggity goo!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Troi: "I refuse to believe JoeFromEarth can't see the sticky!!!"