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best headline ever?

I am cynical about Apple. It seems to me that every product they make is geared toward teenagers with unusually deep pockets. As an adult with casual business interests, I've never seen any apple products which I feel would not be inferior to other more practical, versatile non-apple products.

As an example, the ipad is extremely inferior to even a low-priced netbook in terms of versitility and functionality. If you want to be cool, you'll get an ipad. If you want to get work done, you'll get just about anything else. I've seen the way people go through fancy phones, dropping them in water, scratching the screen, dropping them and breaking them, etc..

Nobody other than a misguided teen/young adult would settle for Apple's amazing-but-ineffectual creations which, for all intents and purposes, are too shiny and too cool to stand up under the pressures of real life environments. I don't want to undermine the amazing things that Apple has made and done, or the fundamentals of their business. At the end of the day I like Apple, just as long as none of their products wind up being in my possession.

As for the headline, it doesn't seem that eye-catching to me. Maybe it's just because I can't muster any excitement about anything Apple-related.
 
You need to work on your dirty mind, Joshua. You brought a toothbrush to a mud fight.
 
I am cynical about Apple. It seems to me that every product they make is geared toward teenagers with unusually deep pockets. As an adult with casual business interests, I've never seen any apple products which I feel would not be inferior to other more practical, versatile non-apple products.

As an example, the ipad is extremely inferior to even a low-priced netbook in terms of versitility and functionality. If you want to be cool, you'll get an ipad. If you want to get work done, you'll get just about anything else. I've seen the way people go through fancy phones, dropping them in water, scratching the screen, dropping them and breaking them, etc..

Nobody other than a misguided teen/young adult would settle for Apple's amazing-but-ineffectual creations which, for all intents and purposes, are too shiny and too cool to stand up under the pressures of real life environments. I don't want to undermine the amazing things that Apple has made and done, or the fundamentals of their business. At the end of the day I like Apple, just as long as none of their products wind up being in my possession.

As for the headline, it doesn't seem that eye-catching to me. Maybe it's just because I can't muster any excitement about anything Apple-related.

That's fine if their products aren't up to your standards, but please don't paint all Apple product users with a single brush. I enjoy some of their products and am neither a misguided teen nor a misguided young adult. I may be a misguided adult, but that's a different story.
 
That's not mud.

There we go. See Josh? This is how you do it.

Edit: I also agree with Kestra about Apple and Apple users in general. There are Apple products I like, like the iMac. It's a great design, has great functionality, is energy efficient and easy to use. It also adds a level of professionalism, in my opinion, to any office situation, and I say this as a Microsoft Power User.
 
Nobody's going to get fired. The headline barely made me smirk.

Nobody other than a misguided teen/young adult would settle for Apple's amazing-but-ineffectual creations which, for all intents and purposes, are too shiny and too cool to stand up under the pressures of real life environments.

Generalizing a bit, are we? ;)

My iMac and iPad are both standing up just fine under the pressures of real life. I agree that the iPad has limited use, but, for the purposes for which I bought mine, it's great.
 
Yawn. Nowhere near the best headline.

That honour still goes to:

"Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious"

The Scottish Sun's reporting of lowly Caledonian Thistle beating the mighty Celtic football team; an event truly odd enough to merit the magical Poppins pun (read it out loud if you're scratching your head).

Other runners-up, oddly enough nearly all from The Sun:

  • You can't quit quicker than a thick Quick quitter - for those outside the UK, not just a tongue-twister, but a riff on the TV ad slogan for car mechanics Kwik-Fit (you can't fit quicker than a Kwik-Fit fitter).
  • Fog in Channel; Continent Cut Off - possibly apocryphal, attributed variously but most often to The Times in the 1950s. Should give you insight into how England views its relationship with Europe.
  • Up Yours Delors! - more banter with our EU partners
  • CLOBBA SLOBBA - Slobodan Milosevic gets caught in the headline-writers crossfire during the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia
  • Diniz in the Oven - F1 racing driver Pedro Diniz' car catches fire during the race. Hilarity ensues.
 
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