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DS9 Caption Contest #14: Now in Standard Definition!

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O'Brien: You do realize that what you're eating is meant for diaper rash....

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Zimmerman: Since I'm going to be using you as a model for EMH II, I'll have to endure I get everything 100% accurate. And while we're at it--what is that on you back?

Bashir: I beg your pardon?

Zimmerman: A protrusion outward on the back of your uniform....

Bashir: Well! I don't know what on Earth--

Zimmerman: It appears to be...some sort of mole....

Bashir: Captain...?

Sisko: Oh, don't mind me. This is actually very interesting.
 
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Keiko: Did you check-

O'Brien: Yes I scanned for Quantum Filaments. We're okay this time.
 
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