Open Letter Thread

[Gruß vom Krampus]

My dear sister:



Personally, I believe people should be free to spend their money any way they want to, and I would never presume to tell you how to manage your finances. BUT I also believe that people should be financially responsible and be able to fulfill their obligations.

Love,
Drone

 

[Gruß vom Krampus]

Dear Co-Workers:

Eat shit and die! I grow tired of your endless and incessant whining. "We should do this ... we should do that." At this point, I'm not going to try to please everyone because it's pointless. Life's too short to moan and bitch about the small stuff, though I have to admit, I don't get paid enough simply just to put up with you.

Sincerely,
Drone

 

[Kestra]

Dear Co-Workers:

Eat shit and die! I grow tired of your endless and incessant whining. "We should do this ... we should do that." At this point, I'm not going to try to please everyone because it's pointless. Life's too short to moan and bitch about the small stuff, though I have to admit, I don't get paid enough simply just to put up with you.

Sincerely,
Drone

Is it because you're still mad about the cake thing?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Dear Philadelphia Phillies,

Congrats on clinching the NL East. Looking for a rematch? We'll be happy to give you one.

Also:

Dear A.J. Burnett,

Would it kill you to LEARN HOW TO PITCH once in awhile?!??!

 

[Gruß vom Krampus]

Dear Co-Workers:

Eat shit and die! I grow tired of your endless and incessant whining. "We should do this ... we should do that." At this point, I'm not going to try to please everyone because it's pointless. Life's too short to moan and bitch about the small stuff, though I have to admit, I don't get paid enough simply just to put up with you.

Sincerely,
Drone

Is it because you're still mad about the cake thing?

Heavens no! I tried to take care of an issue at work that I thought was in the best interest of everyone in the office. Some people obviously were not satisfied with it and tried to throw in unsolicited advice about how to make things better, from their perspective anyway.

 

[Kestra]

Dear Person Who Probably Found My Phone,

I hope you are a decent person and turned it into a librarian or something. I know I was stupid for losing it, but it's not a fancy phone so please don't be a dick and keep it. I believe the best in people so I'm going to be optimistic and hope that I find my phone somewhere on campus tomorrow. Thanks for being a decent person.

Sincerely,

Kes

P.S. Please don't go through my text messages or pics either.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Dear Person Who Probably Found My Phone,

I hope you are a decent person and turned it into a librarian

Wow. How do you turn a phone into a librarian? Program "SSHH!" as the ringtone? Would it even fit at the desk?

 

[Kestra]

Dear Person Who Probably Found My Phone,

I hope you are a decent person and turned it into a librarian

Wow. How do you turn a phone into a librarian? Program "SSHH!" as the ringtone? Would it even fit at the desk?

I think I left my phone at the library. I'm quite stressed about it and I'm hoping for the best, as it would be not only an inconvenience but probably costly to replace it. The jokes aren't really helping.

 

[Joshua Howard]

Dear Neighbor,

You could have knocked on my door and asked me to nip off the tree branches that were growing over the fence into your yard, or done it yourself; but instead you had to take the cowardly course of action and complain to the homeowners' association, which complained to the homeowners, who complained to my property management group, which complained to me; and after all of that bitchin' and moanin', it took me only 5 minutes to chop off the branches by myself.

Lots of things would work out better if people would mind their own business; and until the tree branch scandal, I thought you folks were cool. Now I see how it is. It isn't like I was emptying my lawnmower bag over your fence; but now, I am tempted to start. Just be thankful that I don't mow my lawn very often.

Sincerely,

Renter at 16519

 

[F. King Daniel]

I think I left my phone at the library. I'm quite stressed about it and I'm hoping for the best, as it would be not only an inconvenience but probably costly to replace it. The jokes aren't really helping.

A few months ago I left a bag at my library with my credit card, two USB sticks and papers all with sensitive info on them. I somehow didn't realize it until 8pm, and spent a sleepless night cancelling my credit card and trying to figure out what I'd lost on the USB sticks.

The next day, I phoned the library and some wonderful person had handed in my bag unmolested. It was the ultimate internet security wake-up call, a lesson very much learned (thankfully!) without any harm done.

I hope it goes well for you, too!

 

[TheBrew]

Dear Mr. Project Manager,

Please tell me what my raise is. I got new position over two weeks ago and yet I have no idea what I make. It would make financial planning a bit easier as I am trying to budget for some big changes in my life.

TheBrew

P.S. Please tell me it is a $20k raise. I would really appreciate it.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I think I left my phone at the library. I'm quite stressed about it and I'm hoping for the best, as it would be not only an inconvenience but probably costly to replace it. The jokes aren't really helping.

Oops, sorry

 

[Gruß vom Krampus]

Dear God:

Half of the people in my department are in a meeting this morning, so thank you for granting me some peaceful, sane, and quiet time. It feels nice to have almost the entire office all to myself. Now if you could please make this other health issue I'm having go away, I would really appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Drone

 

[Guartho]

Dear Sonic customers:
The southbound left-turn lane is just that, southbound. If you are northbound and wish to turn left into the Sonic drive-in you need to stay in your lane. Those of us who are southbound and wish to turn left appreciate not having a head-on collision because you feel compelled to break the law.

 

[auntiehill]

Dear staff:

You all have Masters and PhDs, so please tell me why you can not follow simple written instructions? And, FFS, we all work from our homes. How is it possible for you to NOT show up on time? Is it too far from your bed to the computer that you have to be 15 minutes late all the the time? Do you not realize that I am watching you and I can see when you have scored a test in 10 or 20 minutes? The papers are only about 20 sentences long; read it, score it, hit the button. Why is that so damn hard?

And to that particular dumbass who was 2 hours late and generated more discrepancies than the Enron Accounting Department: how f***ing stupid can you be? Here's a hint: the space that says "contact phone number" means that you should enter a phone number where I can, oh--I don't know, CONTACT YOU--not to enter disconnected, out of service, voice mail only (that you never answer) phones. If you can't be contacted, then you can't work. I will flippin' cut your access and then you can tell the home office why you need to be reconnected. Suck it, you pain in the ass.

 

[Gruß vom Krampus]

The issue of tardiness was recently addressed by division management (my boss and the other supervisors). Apparently, we have a set of "work rules" that we have to abide by. My supervisor observed that people were constantly coming in late, 15 to 20 to 30 minutes past the designated start time. So my supervisor met with all the sections to discuss work schedules and have a Q&A session.

I know for a fact that a couple of my co-workers usually come in between 8:15 and 8:30 when they should be in the office at 8 a.m. (although lately they've been coming in earlier as a result of the meeting). Hell, I've even got in as late as 8:05 or 8:10, but at least I either make up my time or use vacation leave when I'm extra late (30 minutes to an hour), which rarely ever happens. I don't think a lot of the "latecomers" do what I do, so now tardiness will be monitored closely by the supervisors, and repeat offenders will be subject to counseling/disciplinary action.

On the one hand, I believe that as long as people come in to do their jobs and get their jobs done well, that's what really matters. On the other hand, I don't think it's fair for the rest of the employees who come in on time and get their work done. So I can definitely see both sides of the coin here.

 

[auntiehill]

Well, when you're an hourly employee working on time-sensitive material and you can only work during certain hours of the day AND you are working from your own home.....please. A few minutes late--say, about 5---that's nothing, but deliberately logging in late to a web site (10- 20 minutes) from your own home every single shift---that's just being a pain in the ass.

For people on salary who have to show up at physical address--that's different. Things will happen---weather, traffic, etc---but when you are working from home, there's no excuse.

It's always the same people doing it over and over, just to see how much they can get away with. It's childish and annoying.