DS9 Caption Contest #11: Starfleets Finest

[TheGodBen]

With only two contestants left, and Sisko on the brink of falling asleep, Kira was certain that she would win the "keep your hand on the runabout" contest.

O'BRIEN: I'm getting a message from the other side. Does anyone in the audience know a John? ... Or Jack? .... It could be James... The name begins with a J.
TOSK: I know a Gerry.
O'BRIEN: Gerry! Yes, that's the name I'm hearing.

BASHIR: Yes, I know I have a small bump. Yes, I'm pregnant. No, I don't know how this is possible.
EZRI: I'm not the father!

SISKO: Damn, Bajoran porn is weird. Did that woman just lay an egg?

 

[ares93]

SISKO: Damn, Bajoran porn is weird. Did that woman just lay an egg?

damn, man... that's just... so wrong....

 

[ares93]

Julian: Just the person i wanted to see.
Ezri: Whoaw! What in gods name is that on your...?
Julian: Trill spots...
Ezri: Trill spots? Those aren't Trill spots. Those are red spots.
Julian: Well, i figured after last night... They had to be Trill spots. Are you sure?
Ezri: Positive.
Julian: Guess i should stop by sickbay then...

 

[Rush Limborg]

damn, man... that's just... so wrong....

Yeah...that guy's got a sick obsession with "egg" cracks....

But hey--yours was nearly as bad. (I don't wanna know what you're implying there....)

 

[ares93]

damn, man... that's just... so wrong....

Yeah...that guy's got a sick obsession with "egg" cracks....

But hey--yours was nearly as bad. (I don't wanna know what you're implying there....)

thats actually a conversation i heard today between a friend of mine and his girl. just added a star trek spin to it.

 

[LeadHead]

Kira: Let us in! We need that dilithium!

Sisko: They'd let us in if you hadn't beaten them all up last week.

Kira: Hey, NOBODY gets away with wrinkled nose jokes!

 

[Rush Limborg]

thats actually a conversation i heard today between a friend of mine and his girl. just added a star trek spin to it.

He...didn't think he had Trill spots, I assume....

What did he think?

 

[ares93]

thats actually a conversation i heard today between a friend of mine and his girl. just added a star trek spin to it.

He...didn't think he had Trill spots, I assume....

What did he think?

no, he didnt think anything. the trill spots was my idea. but the idea originated from there. i cant recite the conversation word for word, they were speaking arabic. but it was something like this (roughly translated):

- hang on/stop, i need to talk to you.
- yes? what is it/what do you want?
- Look... (they turn around)
- (obscene word) that's red.
- i know, after last night...
- yes yes...
they turn around quickly and leave.

 

[LeadHead]

O'Brien: Hmmmm... lets look at the DS9 Caption contest... Hmmm... wonder what that story is all abou- Ah! Bad Images!

 

[Rush Limborg]

Ezri: Julian...these captions are driving me crazy!

Julian: Hmm...I'm reading--well!

Ezri: See what I mean!?

Julian: They are implying that I'm--

Ezri: I know. Disgusting, isn't it?

Julian: And a recent one is implying that you caused me to get--

Ezri: DON'T...SAY IT!!! I'M STRUGGLING TO GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Julian: These people should see a counselor....

Ezri: Well, they AREN'T going to come to me! Not if they value their lives!

Julian: Or their gender?

Ezri: What?

Julian: I'd assist with that, of course. As payback, you understand...for those insults to my manhood....

Ezri: (eyes bulging wide) ...Ah...yeah...well....

Julian: This isn't being captioned, is it?

Ezri: You think so?

 

[TheGodBen]

damn, man... that's just... so wrong....

I shall insist until my dying day that Bajorans lays eggs, even though it was never mentioned on-screen and despite all the evidence being to the contrary.

 

[ares93]

I shall insist until my dying day that Bajorans lays eggs, even though it was never mentioned on-screen and despite all the evidence being to the contrary.

how was there evidence of the contrary? kira carried a human baby. not a bajoran.

Ezri: Julian...these captions are driving me crazy!

Julian: Hmm...I'm reading--well!

Ezri: See what I mean!?

Julian: They are implying that I'm--

Ezri: I know. Disgusting, isn't it?

Julian: And a recent one is implying that you caused me to get--

Ezri: DON'T...SAY IT!!! I'M STRUGGLING TO GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Julian: These people should see a counselor....

Ezri: Well, they AREN'T going to come to me! Not if they value their lives!

Julian: Or their gender?

Ezri: What?

Julian: I'd assist with that, of course. As payback, you understand...for those insults to my manhood....

Ezri: (eyes bulging wide) ...Ah...yeah...well....

Julian: This isn't being captioned, is it?

Ezri: You think so?

i feel like you aimed that at me for some reason. and just so you know, i am seeing a counselor. hell, in a few years i will be a counselor. peace, man

and for the sake of morale around here. i shall refrain from posting any more BS.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^

No it wasn't just you...like we agreed, this seems to be an "off" thread for all of us.... *sigh*

 

[ares93]

^

No it wasn't just you...like we agreed, this seems to be an "off" thread for all of us.... *sigh*

yeah, yeah i know. just wanted to annoy you a bit. guess it backfired then.

anyway Rush, i gotta tell you this. you have a certain way of words i've never seen before. promise me one thing, never stop doing these caption contests.

 

[Rush Limborg]

^

No it wasn't just you...like we agreed, this seems to be an "off" thread for all of us.... *sigh*

yeah, yeah i know. just wanted to annoy you a bit. guess it backfired then.

Oh, I have Irish bood, sir. If I'm set off...you'll know.

(BTW...they say God invented whiskey and ale to keep us Irishmen from conquering the world. The fact that I've never taken a drop in me life...well, be glad I'm not full Irish, folks! )

anyway Rush, i gotta tell you this. you have a certain way of words i've never seen before. promise me one thing, never stop doing these caption contests.

Thank you--very much.

 

[ares93]

Oh, I have Irish bood, sir. If I'm set off...you'll know.

(BTW...they say God invented whiskey and ale to keep us Irishmen from conquering the world. The fact that I've never taken a drop in me life...well, be glad I'm not full Irish, folks! )

dear god, i shall carefully consider every post i write when you're around then. ive been on the bad side of an angry irishman once and i dont wish to be again. (btw i have the xray pic to prove it.)

EDIT: advice of the day: never get between an irishman and his whiskey. trust me on that one.

 

[Rush Limborg]

Oh, I have Irish bood, sir. If I'm set off...you'll know.

(BTW...they say God invented whiskey and ale to keep us Irishmen from conquering the world. The fact that I've never taken a drop in me life...well, be glad I'm not full Irish, folks! )

dear god, i shall carefully consider every post i write when you're around the. ive been on the bad side of an angry irishman once and i dont wish to be again. (btw i have the xray pic to prove it.)

Don't worry. I also have a good amount of Hispanic blood. Think the term "siesta"....

It's a nice balance, I think--Bold And Fresh vs. Slow-paced And Easygoing.

Add some Pennsylvania Dutch (contentment with "isolation", perhaps?),

British (reserved and "old soul"),

Dutch (I'm...not sure about what I get from this--something, I'm sure...)

and a little Cherokee (you are aware of the legendary American Indian integrity, of course)

...and I'm a well rounded individual, I'd say.

EDIT: advice of the day: never get between an irishman and his whiskey. trust me on that one.

Careful, mate. I can say things like that--because I am part Irish....

(Apologies to the OP, for this off-topic trend. *sigh*)

 

[LeadHead]

We now return to your regularly scheduled Caption Contest

Ezri: No! There is no way I'll ever date you!

Julian: Oh come on, that's just Jadzia talking.

 

[Isis]

O'Brien: "Duh--I finally figured out who put the tribbles in the quadrotriticale."

Ezri: "Sorry to bother you in the middle of the night, Julian, but as you can see, I have a terrible case of jazz hands."

 

[ares93]

Careful, mate. I can say things like that--because I am part Irish....

(Apologies to the OP, for this off-topic trend. *sigh*)

Rush, considering that i was the one who got a bottle of scotch smashed into my head. i'd say that give me the right to warn people, wouldn't you say?

And yes, the tread shall continue undisturbed. sorry for the threadjacking.