Books that will never be written by the DS9 crew & others

[indolover]

Past Lives: One life is enough - Dax

Divine contact is such a crock - Ben Sisko

Change is the constant of my life - Odo

Profit-based economics is non-viable - Quark

The righteous path is the correct one - Dukat

The Gods delusion - Weyoun

To cook is murder. Give me a knife and fork and dunk me in front of a replicator! - Joe Sisko

 

[Sykonee]

The Art of Conversation - Morn
Folical Follies: My Greatest Hairstyle Mistakes - Jadzia Dax (S3)

 

[Saga]

Jadzia: i am not Curzon Dax
Ezri: i am not Jadzia Dax
Damar: I am Cardassia! (and so can you)

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

$$^@$@&$%^@#%(@&%@% by Thot Gor

 

[intrinsical]

Books by Ben Sisko:
Allamaraine! Chula and Other Wadi Games for Dummies
For The World is Fiction and I Have Touched Reality

 

[Daneel]

The Luck of the Irish, and How to Make It Work for You! by Miles O'Brien

Business Ethics: An Introduction by Quark

 

[Smellincoffee]

Out of Darkness Comes Light: How the Star Empire Entered the Dominion War, Benjamin Sisko
My Life as a Test-Tube Baby, Julian Bashir
So You Want to Start a Nonprofit, Quark
Without Honor: The Virtues of Pragmatism, Worf
What To Expect When You're Expecting Someone Else's Kid, Kira Nerys
Letter to the Prophets' Nation, Kai Winn
I Was Wrong, Gul Dukat
Cold Sniper: Adventures of a Dominion War Ranger, Ezri Dax
Surak and the Path to Enlightenment; Jadzia Dax

 

[PorthosShadow]

"The Bald & The Beautiful" Benjamin Sisko.

"Liquidating Your Assets" by Odo.

"Don't Eat The Worm" by Ezri Dax.

"Playing Doctor & God" by Julian Bashir

"Sharpening Bat'Leths At Home For Extra Cash" by Worf

"My Father, The God" by Jake Sisko

"I am Not Scotty" by Miles O'Brien

"20,000 Kilometer Stare" by Kira Nerys

"If You Read This, I Will Have To Kill You" by Elim Garak

"Dr. Feelgood Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Holosuites" by Quark

"Hoarding, My Secret Genetically Engineered Shame" by Weyoun 5

"Ol' Red Eye's Is Back" by Dukat

"How To Lose A Financial Empire In One Week" by Rom

 

[Solarbaby]

Jake: How I Got All These Pips

Satanic Verses- By Pah Wraith possessed Dukat

Watership Down by the Koremma

One flew over the Celestial Temple- Kai Winn

The Odyssey- Captain Keogh

Catch47- The collective works of the production crew

Mommie Dearest by Odo

 

[DevilEyes]

The Gods delusion - Weyoun

I already did that one, as "The Founder Delusion." Together with Weyoun's other book, "The Founders Are Not Great: How the Belief in the Founders Poisons Everything."

 

[Admiral Shran]

$$^@$@&$%^@#%(@&%@% by Thot Gor

 

[Photon]

$$^@$@&$%^@#%(@&%@% by Thot Gor

That's what I thot................
I LOL'd

 

[Sykonee]

Rethinking The Art Of Conversation - Morn
Forward by Thot Gor

The Art Of Lilac Cultivation - Worf

How To Die Humbly And Forgotten - Michael Eddington

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

The Evils of Genetic Engineering by Weyoun
All the Important Stuff I Did in Season 7 by Jake Sisko

 

[Photon]

Rethinking The Art Of Conversation - Morn
Forward by Thot Gor

The Art Of Lilac Cultivation - Worf

How To Die Humbly And Forgotten - Michael Eddington

Skyokee +1

 

[Rush Limborg]

Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look At The Hew-mons by Quark
(I know...an insult to Quark, to compare him to...)

Uncensored Secrets Of The Obsidian Order, With No Sense Of Irony Whatsoever by Garak

How Do You Feel? Self-Analysis Made Simple by Ezri Dax (Actually, I could easily see her writing this...some years after Season 7, of course.)

The Art Of Effective Barroom Conversations by Morn

The Art Of Crime, or, My Carrer As A Hard-Boiled Inspector by Odo Ital

The Primer of Progressive Politics by Kai Winn Adami (No joke...she's one of them, I say!)

Confessions Of A Party Girl, or, When Being A Tomboy Is Cause For Regret by Jadzia Dax

Dreams Of My Mother by Benjamin Sisko

 

[T'Girl]

Being the Emissary's son. (and 99 other ways to score with Bajorian chicks) By Jake Sisko



.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

The Evils of Genetic Engineering by Weyoun
All the Important Stuff I Did in Season 7 by Jake Sisko

I lol'd at the Jake one.

 

[Nightdiamond]

Funniest so far;

Mr. Laser Beam wrote:
$$^@$@&$%^@#%(@&%@% by Thot Gor

105 uses for Prune Juice by Worf (special foreword by General Martok)

 

[Photon]

Kira- Reconciliation: Drinking Warm Fish Juice with My Cardassian Homies